Only You Understand My Pain
by 1moonwitch
Summary: Kakashi x Hinata! Hinata loses both her teammates.Kakashi is haunted by his own team mates deaths.Can they mend each others hearts.Warning:Other character deaths,swearing,heavy lemons and violence.Story also includes Akatsuki plot twist Tobi/Obito
1. War Is Ugly

A Kakashi x Hinata fan fiction.

Warning: This story will contain other character deaths, swearing, violence, and lemons Characters may be slight OOC

You have been warned so if you don't like don't read!!!!!!!

Disclaimer : Naruto is owned by the talented Masashi Kishimoto

**Only You Understand My Pain**

Chapter 1

War is Ugly

Tsunade wiped her forehead as she walked out of the small room her normal neat clothing dirty and blood covered . Shizune followed closely behind her. Kakashi leaned against the wall near the door exhaustion clearly showing on his masked face. His clothing torn and dirty. Naruto, Lee and Tenten sat in the waiting chairs across.

Seeing them exit Naruto jumped up bandages covering his cheeks and across his forehead. "How is she? "

"She has multiple fractures and severe blood loss due to the multiple stab wounds. Her chakra level is still extremely low." She sighed." Those will all heal. What worries me more is her mental well being. I don't know if she is strong enough to handle their deaths. "Tsunade looked back to the room and then to Kakashi. "If you had not gotten her here as fast as you did Kakashi we would have had another death to add to the total of losses today."

"If I had gotten there sooner Inuzuka and Aburame might still be alive." He added sadly his head dropping back against the wall. His mind drifting off to earlier.

"_Kakashi the attack has been successful the Sound is near defeat. I want you to fall back and make sure none of them have slipped past. We must not let a single sound nin enter the village." Tsunade yelled. Her voice barely heard over the noise of battle. She was kneeling next to Genma trying to heal his head wound as blood dripped down the side of his face. Looking over he could see Raidou's dead body. A kunai sticking out of his throat. He couldn't spare any time mourning his fellow jounin now._

"_Hai!" Taking off into the tree tops and racing towards the village. An ear piercing scream caused him to stop._

_Pulling out a kunai he dropped down to find the tiny Hinata Hyuga's bloody and battered body leaning over Kiba. Her hands glowing with an unusual blue chakra. Shino's body laid on her other side. Four kunai sticking from his bloody chest._

"_No you can not leave me dammit!" She screamed tears sliding down her pale cheeks. "Please you two are all I have. " She pleaded. Looking around he saw what was left of Kisame and Zetsu._

"_Hinata," He called to her. Jumping up startled she staggered into a fighting stance. A kunai held tightly in her hand._

"_You can't have them!" She screamed into the darkness. "Touch them and I will kill you! I have already killed one of you Akatsuki bastards and I will not hesitate to kill another!" Akamaru stood his ground next to her teeth bared._

"_Hinata it's me Kakashi." Her eyes widened as she took in the mask and jounin vest. Realization who was standing in front of her sunk in._

"_Kakashi get Tsunade! I'm not trained for this. Hurry please they need medical help now!" Turning her back on him and dropping to her knees next to Kiba's prone body. Placing her hands back on his chest. The odd blue chakra in her hands fading in and out. Moving closer to her he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath trying to stay calm. Kiba was also dead. Kneeling next to her he placed a calming hand on her shoulder._

"_Hinata." He pleaded gentle. "There gone."_

"_No!" She screamed pushing him out of her way and going to Shino. "Just shut the fuck up you're …you're wrong!"_

_He was taken back by the strength in her voice. He watched agonizing as the chakra in her hands faltered and her body swayed then collapsing over Shino's corpse._

"_Hinata!" He exclaimed quietly. He knew she was dying her chakra nearly depleted. Bending down and scooping her up in his arms he jumped into the tree line. He could hear Akamaru's pitiful howl fill the night air as he grieved for his fallen master. _

"_Hold on." He pleaded looking down at her small battered body. He still tried to comprehend how this tiny woman had defeated one of the Akatsuki. "Hold on Hinata you are stronger then you know." His hand gentle sending waves of his own chakra into her body trying to keep her alive. _

The sound of Tsunade's loud voice shaking him out of his thoughts.

"Report Shikamaru."

"What is left of the sound has retreated. Orochimaru has been confirmed dead along with Kabuto. We have taken fourteen casualties from the battle and two from the Akatsuki attack." He sighed heavily. "I want to apologize for my judgment error. I should have realized the Akatsuki would use this battle as a cover to try and grab Kyuubi. I take full blame." He bowed.

"No! I should have realized as Hokage." Her voice rose angrily. "I should not have put all our medics to the front."

"Lady Tsunade you must not think like that. This day has been a victory. Orochimaru is dead. The sound defeated." Shizune intoned lightly.

"How many Akatsuki confirmed dead?" Tsunade asked.

"Two, Zetsu and Kisame." Kakashi replied. " Team eight eliminated them both." He added quickly pushing away from the wall. "Hinata Hyuga admitted to killing at least one of them."

"I see." Tsunade rubbed her aching head. "Do we know the where about of Sasuke or Itachi?"

"Dead!" Everyone's eyes turned to the voice.

"They are both dead." Sakura's voice breaking into a sob, tears filling her eyes." I tried to save him but his wounds were just too severe."

"Sakura are you sure." Naruto asked pulling her close. She nodded burring her face in his chest.

Kakashi sighed dropping his head the full weight of the day hitting him. "So this is how it ends Sasuke."

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	2. Drawn To You

**Only You Understand My Pain**

**Kakashi x Hinata**

Chapter 2

Drawn To You

Walking through the village he made his way towards the hospital unsure why he felt the need to see how she was. He barely talked to the girl except for a few missions scattered here and there through the years. Maybe it was his need to understand how such a small woman could take down one of the notorious Akatsuki and survive. He remembered the determined look in her eyes as she stood over her fallen teammates protecting them like a mother would a child. It seemed to haunt his sleep. It had only been two days since it had all gone down. Preparations for the memorial services that would be held in four days had begun. Pushing through the hospital doors he made his way to the critical care unit.

"Kakashi what are you doing here?" Shizune asked getting up from the nurse's desk.

"I was just wondering how Hinata Hyuga was doing?" He watched as she sighed her eyes sad.

"She woke up this morning but we had to sedate her. I am afraid she is not taking their deaths well. Also Lady Tsunade can not figure out why the laceration on her face will not heal. I am starting to suspect her body itself is refusing the healing out of some sort of self punishment. " Her eyes drifting to young Hyuga's room.

"Has her family been here?" He asked quietly shifting uncomfortable.

"No!" Her voice turning hard. "Damn Hyuga clan! I swear the lot of them are just pure evil. Hinata is the only pure soul in that whole damn clan. Hiashi has refused to visit and has forbidden the clan as well. Though Neji did sneak in last night. Silly boy thought I didn't see him."

"Why would Hishi…"Her hand went up halting his words.

"He thinks Hinata is a disgrace for letting her teammates die." She fumed. "Cruel bastard!"

"That makes no sense. His daughter defeated an Akatsuki. She is lucky to have even survived. I watched her use all of her chakra trying to save them."

"Don't bother preaching to me I fully agree." She waved her hand in the air dismissively.

"Look I need to get back to work." She stood for a second studying him curiously. "You can go in a see her if you like." She turned walking down the hall not waiting to see what he did. Standing there in front of her room his mind conflicted unsure of what he should do. Finally he slowly pushed the door. She looked so pale almost unearthly as if she was a spirit resting as she passed through the living world. Even the multiple bandages didn't deter the heavenly look on her face. Her midnight blue hair flowing across the stark white pillow like a halo.

"Hinata" Her name a whisper leaving his tongue before he even realized it. His hand slowly brushing the strand of hair that had fallen across her face. A small sigh leaving her cold lips. Pulling his hand back he chastised himself.

'What the hell am I doing here? She is just one of many injured what makes her so damn special." Pulling the door open he could not stop from looking back one more time. Stuffing his hands in his pocket he made his way back home his mind having an internal conflict of emotions.

"Why am I so drawn to her when I was never before?"

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Please Review!!!!!!!!


	3. Funeral Colors

**Only You Understand My Pain**

**Kakashi x Hinata**

Chapter 3

Funeral Colors

She stared out the hospital window her pale eyes watching the villagers as they went around doing their daily business. Not at all concerned that in four hours the memorial would take place. Did they not care who died to protect them. How could they just act like today was any ordinary day? Her hand reached out touching the cold glass. She watched as a few of her fellow shinobi walked by. She saw the dark clothes and sad faces but all seemed to be a strange apparition. Not reality. Closing her eyes she leaned her head against the glass. She stood that way for a long time.

'_Maybe when I open my eyes it will all be a dream._' She sighed inward as began counting to ten. Slowly opening them she paled. "Damn…Damn!" She pounded her fists on the window over and over again. Her cursing becoming a mantra of pain. "Damn!...Damn!" She became so numb with the reality that this was not going away. It would never be a dream to wake from. She never felt the sting of glass as both fists went through the glass window.

"Lady Hyuga what are you doing!" A veteran nurse screamed as she walked in. Her eyes taking in the shattered window and blood dripping from the young heiress's hands. What caused her to flitch was the look on her face. It was simply disturbing to see such a look on such a young woman.

"You need to get back in bed." Moving the young heiress whose small feet just shuffled as she moved. Laying her down she grabbed the gauze and cleaned the wounds. Removing shattered pieces of glass embedded in her pale skin.

"I know you are upset dear but it is not the end of the world. You will move on. Trust me dearie I have been a nurse for many years. " She plastered a smile on her face. " I am sure you are a bit upset the Hokage won't let you go to the service but I think it is for the best. You are still too weak…" Her words cut off by hysterical laughing. She looked down at the young girl who stared blindly at the ceiling laughing insanely.

"You know dear I think I will get you a sedative." She stammered rushing out of the room. The girl was literally giving her chills.

Walking back in with a small cup of pills she abruptly stopped a small gasp leaving her withered lips. Her wrinkled hand dropping the cup. The tiny colored pills bouncing off the linoleum floor. Her eyes stared at the empty bed the sheets covered in specks of blood. She stood bewildered on how such an injured broken kunoichi could disappear .

He hated wearing this damn thing. It wasn't the black color he didn't like. In fact he actually preferred wearing the color. Black was a neutral color one that could hide you in the all consuming darkness. Yet this black he wore was different. With it came sorrow, misery, and emptiness. Yes, he hated these black mourning clothes. Yet all shinobi were expected to wear them to honor the dead. His mind went back to the last time he wore it. During the memorial for the third Hokage and many of his jounin comrades. His fingers pulled the shirt closed as he stood in front of the mirror. Why did this time seem to make him cringe more then others? He had seen many die but his heart never felt this tight since he buried his own teammates. He could not seem to shake this off and harden himself like he had before. Closing the door behind him he made his way to the memorial. Every step seemed to feel like he was sinking in quicksand. He could feel his heart beating in his chest. Why was this disturbing him so? Why could he not get the image of her out of his mind?

"You're late." Naruto whispered as he took his place next to him at the end of the row. "As always." Naruto was quick to add.

His eyes swept over the pictures lined up. The candles flickering a reflection across them. He sighed when he saw Raidou's. He would miss the laughter he always had when the jounin went out drinking. His eyes then honed in on Aburame and Inuzuka. Their pictures sitting next to each others. As best friends should, even in death. He sighed inward as he again thought of the moonstone eyed woman.

"You okay?" Naruto whispered. The senpai jounin seemed to be unsettled. Compared to his usual laid back attitude. "I heard you went to see Hinata…" The rest of his sentence left unfinished.

"So." Kakashi bristled.

"Do you think she will come?" Naruto whispered over.

"Who?"

"Hinata." Naruto eyeing him carefully.

"Are you stupid. She is too injured to come out here." He hissed under his breath.

"Well looks like you are wrong old man." His finger pointing. Kakashi's eyes widened as he saw the small figure walking towards the memorial. She was dressed in a white kimono with silver lotus blossoms decorating the bottom and sleeves. The color standing out in all the rows of mourning black. As if an angel among the darkness of death. Her small hand holding two blood red roses. His eyes followed her as she slowly made her way towards her father. Kakashi's eye darted to his face.

'_Damn Hyuga bastards_." He growled inwardly as he watched her father turn his back on her followed by the rest of the clan.

Moving out of his place. Kakashi quickly reached out and grabbed her kimono sleeve.

"Lady Hyuga this way." He said quietly his eyes noticing the glassy stare as she looked up at him. Her body followed him swaying slightly. He tightened his grip on her arm. Placing her next to him he gave Naruto a warning look when he went to open his mouth to say something.

As the service was concluding he felt a small drop of cold wetness touch his cheek. It soon was followed by more as the skies opened up and the rain began to fall. He looked down at the small heiress as he watched her. He truly felt the skies were crying for her and her heartbreak. Even in the downpour he could see the tears slid down her pale cheeks dropping to the ground to join the rain.

He walked behind her as they made their way to pay respects. White roses were all ready gathering into a high pile as the line moved. Kakashi was glad they had been the last. He held his shocked breath as he watched her small body kneel in front of their pictures. Her hand shaking as she laid the two deep red roses one for each teammate in front of their photo's. The red clashing with the white. As if innocence and youth had been lost. What had she thought when picking such a color? His mind contemplated as he watched her place a kiss on her hand and then lay the trembling bandaged hand on the pictures. It was then that it sunk into his mind her hands were now bandaged blood seeping into the white gauze.

'_It was a new injury. When did that happen?' _As she stood up her pale moonstone eyes looked up into his blue one, so many emotions transmitted. She turned her face upwards the rain dripping down her pale skin.

"Hinata you shouldn't be out in this weather." He told her surprised he even had a voice left with the knot he felt in his throat. Her dark eyelashes slowly fluttering closed as she let her body fall backwards.

It seemed like she was falling in slow motion as his arms reached to grasp her before she tumbled to the ground. His arms quickly lifting her near weightless body into his arms. His eye traveled around them. They were the only ones left.

"What a sight we must make." He rambled before pulling her close. Her head lying gentle against his shoulder. Moving with lightening speed he brought her weakened body back to the hospital. He nearly laughed when he heard Tsunade's voice thunder down the corridors. Demanding to know how a nurse with so many years experience could lose a severely injured patient and just how in Kami's name did so injured patient manage to shatter a window in her condition. Looking down at her slumbering face he couldn't help but whisper. "I told you that you were stronger then you thought mai bara."

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Mai Bara My Rose

Senpai Elder

Kami God

**Pretty please review!!!!**

If you find any errors please send me a private message instead of adding it to your review thanks!!!


	4. Survivors Guilt

**Only You Understand My Pain**

Chapter 4

Survivors Guilt

One Month Later

He crouched in the tree looking down. '_There she is again_.' His eyes fell upon Hinata's body kneeling by the Ninja Memorial Stone. '_It's not like I am angry about it, just slightly annoyed. This is the time I always come to talk to them and now there she stands once again messing up my time schedule. Okay I admit I don't really have a time schedule. Naruto and Sakura are always complaining about my lack of punctuality no matter what excuse I give._' Kakashi sighed inwardly at his inner rantings. Pulling out his favorite orange covered book he sat down on the branch leaning his back against the trunk. No matter how he tried he couldn't help but peak over his book down at the girl.

'_What is it about her that shakes me from my calm._' His eyes began to travel over her feminine body taking in how her figure had filled out. She had always exhibited bigger breast then most of the girls her age but now her hips had filled in. She no longer looked like the tiny, waif like girl he remembered but a voluptuous woman. Her midnight blue hair had grown long trailing down to her curved waist. She had it swept to one side in an attempt to cover the red scar that marred her otherwise perfect milky white skin. The line ran from her left temple down to bottom of her jaw. To him it just added to her beauty. A woman who stood up against an overpowering opponent and lived. He had to admit no matter how much he tried not to think such thoughts the last few days. Hyuga Hinata was simple breathtaking. He watched as her delicate fingers slowly traced two names on the memorial stone. A tear sliding down her cheek from those soft pale moonstone eyes.

' _Eyes that beautiful should never be marred by tears._' He sighed inwardly. He knew the pain she was feeling and he also knew nothing would make it go away. Time would help, but the loss would always be there. Yes, every shinobi knew it came with the job. That still didn't change the pain. His eyes watched as she laid her forehead against the cold stone lost in her own thoughts. He knew just like he knew the sun would rise every morning, what was going through her mind. Yes he knew it, she was going through the "what it's". What if I had been faster, stronger, arrived sooner. What if…what if! And with the what if's comes the why's. Why not me? Why did I live? Why did they die? Why…why… why!

'_What was it the medics liked to call it? Oh ya… survivors guilt. Guilt is too nice of a word for the pain one feels losing their team mates their friends.' _His mind went to Obito and Rin. I guess in some sense he felt even more sympathy for the Hyuga she lost both her team mates in one day. When Obito died he still had Rin, well at least for a little while. Soon after Obito, her young life was cut short and he was alone. Guilt no that wasn't it, no what was worse is unrelenting loneliness. Taking another look at her, he shook his head sadly. '_I can't watch this anymore.' _Stuffing his book back in his pocket he took off through the trees. '_Maybe I should have tried to comfort her, talk with her. No, what good am I. Hell I can't stop that pain and loneliness in my own heart and my team was taken years ago. I will come back another time to talk with them. A time when the Hyuga-bara is gone.'_

Hinata looked up as she caught a flash of a green jounin jacket. "Hatake _Kakashi_," she whispered softly. She knew he had been watching her. Why she did not know nor did she care. In all truth she cared very little of anything anymore. She felt like she floated through the last few weeks like a ghost. If only that were true. '_I should be a ghost my body buried with Shino and Kiba. Dammit, it why did I have to live. I was the weakest so why did I live.'_ She could feel the tears slid down her cheeks. They stung the slash that ran down her porcelain cheek. It was a constant reminder she had survived and they had perished. The tears began to fall faster as she thought of them. How valiantly they had fought. Even though they defeated their enemy they still lost their lives. If only she had been faster had been better trained to heal they might have survived their wounds. Why had she not been stronger and defied the clan and trained under Lady Tsunade. When she had become jounin Tsunade had asked her to train under her. Yet she was too afraid to fight her clan's wishes.

'_If I had only just said yes to her back then; I would be a full medical nin and they would be alive now.' _Her hand reached for her cheek the lightening sharp pain stabbing through it again. Now days it seemed to always throb when she thought of her fallen comrades, her teammates, her only friends. Now she was alone. Shino and Kiba had been her only family since here real family the Hyuga clan despised all that she was . Regarding her as nothing but a burden. The tears began to pour down her eyes as her heart clenched in pain. Angry she wiped them off with the back of her hand. What she wanted to do was scratch her eyes out so she would never have to see their names on that horrible black obsidian stone. 'It should read Hyuga, Hinata!" She screamed her fists clenched at her sides.

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One thing I wanted to note was that yes, even though Hinata killed an Akatsuki she still sees herself as weak. This is for two reasons one being she could not heal her teammates and save their lives. The second her family has pounded into her head for twenty one years that she was weak and worthless. After time she has totally become to believe this true no matter what she does . Another point to make Hinata didn't really make a lot of friends she was mainly with Shino and Kiba most of her life. Even though she has grown out of her stutter and most of her shyness she never fit in with most of the other teams. Shino and Kiba were her family. Kurenia had died years earlier for those who have asked.

Bara Rose

Kami God

Please review kindly!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. Talking to Ghosts

**Only You Understand My Pain**

**Kakashi x Hinata**

Chapter 5

Talking to Ghosts

Looking around he was surprised to not find a certain heiress staking her new claim near the memorial stone. Sitting down he leaned his back against the smooth obsidian stone. After the Sounds first attack the Leaf village council decided a new memorial had to be built since the other regretfully had run out of space. The new one was over five feet tall and like a giant flat rectangle slab standing at attention. It was made purely from black obsidian stone. A rather rare mineral rock for the area. Kakashi laid his head back. He sat on the side with the older names. He looked over his shoulder his eye taking in his teammates names.

"So I finally got a day to talk with you two without a certain moonstone eyed vixen stealing my time. Can you two explain to me why this woman is vexing me so? I mean I have known Hinata for a long time. I can even remember when she was little. The first time I saw her she was maybe three, walking with her mother in the market. I was goofing around with you Obito, we had just made chuunin. We were what maybe twelve years old. Man, Obito you were such a hyper asshole you know. I remember you pushed me and I bumped into her. Her eyes must have been as big as saucers we startled her so much with our rough housing. Oh that was when you butted your big mouth in Rin yelling at both of us and chasing us all the way to the training field." Letting out a sigh he wiped his hand over his tired face. "Those were the days huh guys. We thought we were so damn fucking indestructible." Pausing he stared up at the sky the clouds floating over peacefully. "So where was I? Oh yes, sweet Hinata Hyuga. So as I was saying I have known her most of my life. Never paying much attention to her. I mean why would I. She is like nine years younger then me. So could you two explain to me why in hell I can't get her out of my mind? Those eyes of hers seem to pierce my soul. " Letting out another long sigh and closing his eyes. Her imagine permeating his brain. His eyes flashed open when he heard footsteps approaching.

'_Oh great there goes my solitude. Maybe if I just stay quiet they will just go away._' He grumbled to himself.

"Hey guys sorry I am late, father was in an extra foul mood today. What else is knew huh."

Kakashi's eyes widened as he realized the bane of his thoughts was just on the other side of the memorial stone.

"He is furious because Lady Tsunade approached him about me becoming a medic again. Unfortunately this time she brought up the fact I can produce an unusual colored chakra when I heal. That had always been our little secret ,huh guys. You remember Shino you called it sapphire blue. You would always tell me it suited me with my hair color. What was it you called the normal green chakra Kiba? Oh yah nausea puke green." She giggled slightly. "Father was livid about the whole thing. Damn that Kakashi for telling her about it in the first place. After she left…father made it known how useless I was and now a freak on top of it. I wish you two were here I miss having you wrap your arms around me. You always did make it better after one of his talks. "

Kakashi cringed as he sat quietly on the opposite side as silence filled the air. It continued for a long period. His ears taking in the sounds of the birds as they flew over head even the wind rustling through the leaves in the surrounding trees. He then heard a sound that seemed to burn through his heart. A small sob left her gentle voice. He could swear he heard every tear drop that hit the ground.

The tears continued to flow as she ran her fingers across their names. How many times had she done this in the passing weeks? Hundred? Two hundred? Thousand ? It seemed like eternity. Her long milky white finger shaking as it felt each dip, curve, edge and crevasse of their names.

"I'm so sorry if I had just been stronger, had more chakra control. If I hadn't been a coward all those years ago .If I had stood against them all and became a medic. If I had you two would be alive right now…right here!" She wept loudly. Kakashi closed his eyes tightly his face pained listening to her tears yet unable to move. He sat their for what felt like a lifetime. Listening as her cries became fainter and fainter.

Wiping the tears with the back of her hand she leaned the back of her head against the cold surface. Letting out a long breath she tried to stop the quake of contradictions rushing through her.

"Maybe I should just tell the clan to go fuck themselves and take Tsunade up on her offer. Oh who am I kidding I don't have the chakra control or strength." Throwing her arms up in defeat; before dropping them weakly to her side.

"You're stronger then you know mai bara." Kakashi whispered. He heard her gasp. Clenching his fists as he realized he had whispered his words out loud.

Standing up he walked around to see her sitting there wide eyed, mouth gapping looking up at him. Her face began to show the tell tale signs of fight or flight. She choose flight. Jumping quickly to her feet and running off.

'_Fuck! What the hell is wrong with me?' _My body reacts before my brain can even think. Kakashi cursed loudly .

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Thanks so much for reading and please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	6. Introductions

**Only You Understand My Pain**

**Kakashi x Hinata**

**Chapter 6**

**Introductions**

He sat leaning against the memorial. It had been six days since he had seen her last. He caught no sign of her in the village or here in his favorite spot, talking with his teammates. He knew she had changed the time of her visitations to avoid him. He forced himself not to stalk this special spot just to find her new time. Yet, he knew she was still coming to talk to her teammates. For every afternoon he would find a pale blue rose lying on the ground. The side with her teammates names. In his heart he just knew it was her loving hands that left it so gentle on the ground. Oh how this one woman perplexed him so. He really needed to stop thinking about her. She had become a constant thought plaguing his mind. How did this happen. He had been going through the motions of life for years now not becoming attached to anyone. Never in all the years since they had died did he have such a pull to another human being. He had to stop this. He didn't have room inside him anymore for feelings.

'_Dammit pull it together! You are a shinobi you have no need of emotional attachments to others. Didn't I learn that the hard way already_?' Leaning his head back he closed his eyes letting a light sleep close over him.

He awoke a few hours later. Something had roused him but he was unsure what as he looked around.

"Sorry if I woke you." Her voice sounding like a warm summer's breeze blowing across his face. He turned but still could not see her graceful body. He heard a small sigh leave her lips and he realized she was sitting on the opposite side of the stone.

"It's okay." Trying to stifle a yawn. "Sorry about scaring you off before."

"It's okay." She sighed heavily. "I was stupid to act like that."

Awkward silence filled the air as neither wanting to say anything. The breeze blowing softly around them.

"So, you like to talk to them too." She stated more then asked.

"Ya." Turing his head to the side he looked at their names. "I noticed you do too."

"Ya." Her hand lifting up touching their names tenderly. He closed his eyes as he felt an awkward pull run through him as if being led towards an idea or thought. Running a hand through his hair he let the thought take him. Standing up he walked around. His hand going out. She blinked several times before placing hers gentle in his. Tightening his grip he pulled her small body to her feet. She followed him to the other side. He stood in front of his side of the memorial stone his hand still firmly holding hers. After a few quiet sullen moments he finally spoke.

"Hinata, I would like you to meet Obito and Rin." Letting her hand go he gestured to the stone.

"Guys this is Hinata Hyuga."

"Very nice to meet you." Hinata bowed respectfully. He couldn't stop the tug at his heart nor the tug at the corner of his mouth as he watched her converse with his friends making introduction to her own teammates. What an insane sight they must have looked, yet it was the most lucid time he could remember in a very long time.

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Sorry it is a short chapter more to come. Also to let everyone know it will pick up and have a happy ending. Though I wouldn't put the Kleenex box away yet.

Please review!!!!!


	7. Memories

**Only You Understand My Pain**

**Kakashi x Hinata Fanfiction **

**Chapter 7**

**Memories**

The next day he found himself hoping she would appear as he sat on the soft spring grass his back leaning against the memorial. His heart skipped a beat when he heard her light voice great her teammates before she sat down. An awkward silence filled the air. As neither seemed able to break the unspoken silence of what had taken place the day before. Each staying on their own sides of the obsidian monolith.

His voice seemed to have left him as he sat frozen in place. What was it about this blue haired beauty that made him lose his composure? As he again felt drawn in by her ethereal being. For what seemed to be the hundredth time that day he could not fathom what had become of his calm indifference to life. Even his favorite orange book lost its appeal. The one thing in his life that he ever enjoyed in all these long years. It had been Obito's. Another one of his ridiculous ideas on his quest to win Rin's heart. That led them to purchase the first Icha Icha book. Kakashi remembered falling out of a tree laughing when Obito tried to use a particular line from one the chapters. Rin clearly found it repulsive and decked him. The punch shattering his favorite goggles and sending him forty feet in the air. Kakashi sighed inward thinking of them. How he missed the goof.

Kakashi felt his anxiety growing as the silence lengthened. Running a hand through his spiked silver hair he cleared his voice.

"Yo!" He called out. Dropping his head in his hands he felt utterly stupid. '_Now why the hell did I say that to her? Her of all people_.' He thought to himself. This woman deserved more then his usual lazy greeting.

'_Kami I have the social skills of an ant. Hell worse then that, since obviously Shino use to like conversing with them. 'His_ eyebrow raised as a light carefree tittering sound floated through the air. His eyes widened as he realized she was laughing.

"Yo." She giggled back softly. Kakashi rolled his eyes. Yep he was a complete idiot when it came to greetings.

"Sooo." He drawled. "How have you been?" Realizing what he said he slapped his head with the palm of his hand.

"Kami, I did not just ask something so stupid. I seemed to have committed every form of conversation Hari Kari today. I apologize." The rate he was going he should just walk away and never try human speech again. He cringed waiting for her to leave disgusted by his social stupidity. So he was shocked quite speechless when he looked up seeing her smiling down at him.

"Well, I guess that makes two of us." He pulled his head back his eye brow raised. She put her finger to her lips holding in a laugh.

"Ano…I was rude by not saying hello to You, Obito and Rin." A small smile tugged on his lips. This little rose of a woman was just too adorable for words. Only his Mai Bara could be so kind to think of his fallen teammates.

'_Wait when did I start thinking of her as my rose_.' He groaned inwardly. His eye roamed over her as she sat next to him. She was innocently plucking at the blades of grass with her long delicate fingers starring at the ground as if in deep thought. He let his eye travel upwards lingering at her soft pink lips. He frowned when he looked at her eyes. The color around them was dark a sunken. He sighed inwardly she wasn't sleeping. He should have realized she would be haunted in her sleep. How many nights did he still wake up in a cold sweat his dreams replaying their deaths.

"Ano Kakashi?" Her sweet voice pulling him from his lingering thoughts. "What were they like?" She sighed her finger beginning to nervously poke together. "You knew Shino and Kiba but I never met your friends." He smiled nodding his head.

"Hmm…Were to start." He closed his eyes taking a moment. "Well Rin was brilliant and way ahead of her time with her medical jutsu. She became the youngest medical nin in Konoha." Kakashi cringed inwardly slightly cursing himself for bringing it up as he watched her shoulders slump sadly.

She was a very kind hearted girl, willing to do anything to help a friend. Many times she acted like a mother hen keeping Obito and I out of trouble. Which seemed to happen a lot." He chuckled.

"She had these cute dark purple streaks on her cheeks." His hand mimicking where on his face.

"Oh it use to piss her off to no end when Obito would sneak up on her and smudge them. "He chuckled softly at the memory.

"Obito always had his heart set on making her fall in love with him." His face turned away as he let a sad sigh leave him. "He never got the chance." He turned quickly towards her as he felt her tender touch. Her small hand placed over his. Her simple touch nearly breaking him to tears. What was this Bara doing to him? He took a deep breath trying to calm his inner turmoil.

"Tell me about him." Her soft voice prodded.

'_Damn!' _He thought. '_How did she manage to get me to open up so about them.' _He never talked with anyone about them and here he was opening himself up. Letting the memories pour out like a bleeding wound. Sucking in another deep breath he continued trying to keep the strain out of his voice.

"Obito was…well I guess you could say he was a little bit like Kiba. He was energetic, loyal and very confident. Sometimes to over confident." He gave her a knowing eye.

"Yet very devoted to him teammates like Shino. Teamwork ment a lot to him."

Hinata nodded softly.

"He was always showing up late. With some sort of excuse or reason that he had stop to help someone."

She smiled a small giggle leaving her lips. "So that is where you picked the habit up from."

"I guess your right. I never thought of that before. "A smirk crossed his lips.

"Obito also shared Naruto's same lack of fashion sense. He always wore these goofy orange tinted goggles not to mention the orange in his clothes. "He smiled warmth filling his chest as he watched Hinata let out a loud laugh. It was nice to see her look so happy.

'_Wait when did I care so much if she is happy?' _He cursed inward at how she was getting under his skin.

"He also managed to piss off our sensei Minato with his knack of speaking out before thinking it through."

Hinata giggled softly behind her hand. "Yes, that does sound like my Kiba."

"You know he was a Uchiha right?"

"No." Hinata drawled her eyes going to the stone. Bending forward her long fingers slowly moving over the cold black stone. Faltering slightly till she found his name. Her nimble fingers slowly tracing over the letters.

"I guess it was a blessing he died before…" His voice fading off. Hinata turned slowly towards him. Her soft eyes gazing at him. His breath hitched when he felt her warm hand touch the side of his face. His hand going up to press against it. He closed his eyes as his head tilted, pressing their hands closer to his masked face. They stayed like this till the skies opened sending a soft rain upon them.

'Does she really understand my pain?' He pondered as he watched her quickly leave.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Okay you might need to keep the Kleenex close still. I do promise to lighten up a tad soon.

Make my day please review.


	8. Asking For Help

**Only You Understand My Pain**

Chapter 8

Asking For Help

Over the following weeks they seemed to meet like clockwork. The same time everyday though neither had told the other. Many days they spent the time in silence each on their own side of the memorial. Wrapped in their own thoughts as if in a world of their own making. As the days past a quiet idle chat started between them. Nothing earth shattering maybe just about the weather then growing into something a bit deeper. As in sharring memories of their fallen teammates. Today was different Hinata was not there and it seemed to make him feel rather unsettled.

'_Maybe she isn't coming. Damn why the hell do I care so much?_' Getting up to leave he stopped as he saw her approach. He had to smile as she struggled to hold on to a large handful of scrolls.

"Here let me help." He watched her blush as he grabbed them from her arms. "What are these for?"

"Oh…um… just something I am studying." Her voice barely over a whisper. He listened as she greeted her teammates and his smile grew as she also said her hello's to his. She sat down on the grass her kimono pooling around her. His eye studied her closely. She seemed lost in her own world as she opened one of the scrolls. He sat down next to her his back leaning against the memorial stone his eyes closing. He didn't mind the quiet that hung between them as he felt himself slowly drifting off. The sound of her calm breathing and her hands shuffling the papers seemed to sooth him. He let his guard down and fell into a deep sleep.

Hours later something stirred him from his dreams. It felt comforting like the wind blowing through his hair. His sleep filled brain trying to form a thought of why the ground felt so soft. A small grunt leaving him as he moved his head sideways.

"You awake?" Her voice called softly. His eyebrow rising at the sound. He felt her gentle fingers comb through his spiked silver hair. He was already feeling the pull of sleep again at her ministrations.

'_Wait what the hell!_' His brain screamed. Sitting up he knocked the paper she was reading in one hand to the ground. Her other was the one that had lulled him to let his guard down.

"Kakashi you okay?" She asked staring at him questionably.

"Yah." He replied nonchalant. His mind trying to figure how he ended up with his head in her lap.

"You fell into a deep sleep. I moved you when you started to slide side ways from your resting spot." She replied as if she had read his mind.

"Oh." Was all he managed to say as he stood up. Running a hand nervously through his hair he tried to replace his inner calm that once again this small rose had shattered.

"Kakashi?" She looked up at him with wide doe like eyes.

"What ?" He asked his shoulders slouched as he leaned against the edge of the stone.

"I…I .."Taking a deep breath she stood her eyes delving into his. "I want you to train me!"

He sucked in a deep shuttering breath his eye widened in shock.

'She did not just ask me that.' His mind cringed as it traveled back to Sasuke. All he had done those many years ago to train the Uchiha. All the hours teaching him the chidori. All to have it wasted in the end for what…revenge. To become a traitor to his own village.

'_All it did was lead you to your death. You stupid boy Sasuke._' His mind shuttered his heart clenched with the betrayal he still felt. '_I will not let that happen to you Mai Bara.'_

"No…I will not!" His voice rising heatedly. He watched as she took a step back at the cruel tone in his voice. He felt his pulse race faster the blood rushing in his ears like waves. He saw how her eyes softly widened then hardened.

"I understand." She whispered. Slowly bending down to gather her many scrolls. He felt like his heart was being torn in half.

"Listen Hinata it's nothing personal. But I will not train another for revenge." He turned his back on her walking off.

"I don't want you to train me to fight. I don't need revenge I already killed Zetsu. What I want is for you to train me in increasing my chakra control so I can save lives. Not take them!" She watched as he stopped. He seemed to be frozen. He took several deep breaths before slowly turning his head towards her.

"What are you talking about Bara?" Her eyes widened at the endearment.

"I have decided to become a medical nin." She smiled softly. "But I need your help. You already know my healing chakra is unusual." Her voice lowering sadly. He couldn't help but be drawn in by those pale moonstone eyes as if they pleaded to his very soul.

"Fine we start tomorrow….Mai Bara." The last words nothing but a whisper in the wind as he walked away.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Hope you enjoyed and yes much more to come!!!

Please review!!!!!!!


	9. Lost On The Road of Life

**Only You Understand My Pain**

**Kakashi x Hinata**

**Chapter 9 **

**Lost on The Road of Life**

He didn't plan on being late. He knew how everyone felt about him and his rather lame tardy excuses, but this time he truthfully and unhappily was held up.

"Damn Gai and his youthful bullshit!" He grumbled loudly as he made his way across the village square. "Genma should know after all these years only I can drink Gai under the table. Baka's!"

Why on Kami's earth did it have to be today of all days that Gai and Genma pulled their stupidity. Hinata was expecting him to start her training. Not that he hadn't been late so many times with his old genin team but for her it just seemed to give him a slight panic feeling to not show up promptly. He groaned again to himself as he thought of the reason for his tardy behavior. Apparently his rival and friend had decided to go on a rather large drinking binge the night before. Since he was not to be found Gai had taken it upon him himself to challenge Genma in his place. Making it now his unfortunate luck to find them both passed out in front of the large tiled fountain smack dab in the middle of the village market district. Being a good shinobi brother he knew he had to drag the two idiots home before Tsunade found out.

'_Kami that woman is so two faced. It's just fine and dandy for her to get drunk and pass out in the middle of town but hell if anyone else can. Then again she has her little Shizune to drag her ass home.' _He grumbled to himself truly vexed. So to prevent his comrades from the wraith of Tsunade he dragged their near unconscious bodies home.

After both men were tucked safely in at what Genma called home. An apartment near the red district. Trashy and cheap like most single jounin bachelors. He had to be thankful. He was lucky to still hold onto what was left of the Hatake clan's home. He inherite it after his father's suicide. His mind swirling over that horrible day. It had changed his thoughts in so many ways. Team and mission had to be separate priorities to maintain village honor. Teammates were not something he could afford to consider important. The mission the only thing of value. He had been so angered by his father's shame he swore the day of his fathers burial he would never make any ties to his new genin team. In the end he slowly realized how truly wrong he was. Obito and Rin never stopped pestering him to hang out outside of missions and training and in the end both had won over his stubborn ways. Yet he still kept team and mission objectives separated. Maybe if he had not been such a stubborn and ignorant ass Obito would be alive. His life might have taken a different path altogether if he had just followed Obito immediately to save Rin from her kidnappers. Maybe the land slide would never have taken place, stealing his best friend's life. Why did learning the lesson that teammates come before a mission have to be come with such a painfully high price.

'_There is no living for the what if's now._' He chided himself. '_What's done is done. Now I have to accept my punishment for being so selfish.' _Shaking his cobwebbed thoughts he resigned himself to his solitary life and rushed to the meeting spot.

When he approached the memorial he saw no sign of the raven haired rose.

'_What the fuck did you expect Kakashi!" _He rebuked himself. '_You are over an hour late did you expect her to just sit around forever.' _Looking around again he sighed heavily till his eye spotted the pale blue rose. He had to smile slightly as he looked over to the other side finding a matching rose. Since the day he introduced her to his fallen friends she always placed one on the side that held their engraved names. His Mai Bara never ceasing to amaze him with her warm glow. It was the sound of crinkling paper that caught his attention. It was then he noticed the wind lightly blowing the edge of a lavender tinted paper pressed down by a small rock. His fingers gingerly moved the rock snatching up the reward it hid.

_Kakashi,_

_I know you tend to get lost on the road of life so when you are done come find me. I will be down by the waterfall training._

_Hinata _

A small smirk crossed his lips as he jumped into the tree line making his way towards the forest waterfall.

It seemed she never failed to surprise him this small rose petal.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Kami - God

Baka - Idiot

Mai Bara - my rose

Yes another chapter done and I am finally moving them away from the monument. Well for a little while that is LOL! Next chapt I will explain her rather odd chakra. No it does not follow the Naruto anime or magna it is my own creative story idea so no flaming over it!

Hope you all enjoyed and please review!!!!!!!


	10. A Graceful Dancer

**Only You Understand My Pain**

Chapter 10

A Graceful Dancer

Moving through the thick foliage the familiar sound of water crashing, slowing his movements through the trees. Peering out from a branch he saw the lone figure not standing on the shore but actually on the water. He inhaled a shaky breath as his eye took in the sight in front of him. She was dressed in nothing but her black net top and a short slitted skirt. Her light blue kimono he noted lay folded, neatly on the shore. It wasn't the clothes that made his breath shutter thought the sight of her long creamy smooth legs did make a certain part of his anatomy take note. What took his breath was what that perfect body of hers was doing. She moved with the grace of a fine dancer. The crystal blue water moving to her every bend and touch. Surrounding her body yet not touching it. It glided from her finger tips sailing through out the open space to wrap around her lithe body. Spiraling down to her pointed toes. The water glistening in the sun's light rays. Her head falling back as her long midnight blue tresses flowed around her dancing on the slight warm breeze. As long feminine arms reaching up to the sky. Her face seemed to be glowing. A serine peaceful calm covering it. She spun and twisted like a prima ballerina giving her best performance. It truly was the most seductive exotic thing he had ever witnessed.

"Mai Bara." His voice whispered husky, covered by the sounds of the rushing waterfall. Watching her it seemed like she was dancing for him and only him.

After watching her for several moments. Moments he swore had stopped time itself. His eyebrow rose as he studied her. She soon dropped into a fighting stance her legs held slightly apart but still touching the top of the water. Those long graceful arms beginning to move faster and faster. He felt unsettled at the erratic speed they began to move in. The soft graceful moments were gone replaced by frenzied movement. Pushing up his hitai-ate onto his forehead his activated Sharingan began to follow the erratic movements.

He had never seen someone move with such precise speed. What he had thought was erratic were precise slicing movements.

"Incredible." His voice filled with awe.

As her movement increased his eye noticed the subtle change to her small finger tips. Thin blades appeared made entirely of chakra. The started as only a few millimeters long slowly increasing in length as her speed pushed faster. He had seen Neji's chakra blades once before in battle but nothing to this degree. He sat back his red Sharingan eye following her movements. Watching his Mai Bara a tiny slip of a woman turn her body into a lethal weapon.

'_How can Mai Bara think she is weak?_' He shock his head in dismay. '_And why can I not stop thinking of her as my rose? ' _

Dropping to the ground he slowly moved through the under brush to stand just at the edge of the woods. His eyes never leaving her.

His heart raced as he watched the blades grow to a length of a kunai. The blade itself thin and razor sharp. He swore he could her it's slicing through the air itself even through the rushing sounds of the water fall behind her.

What happened next caused his jaw to drop and his eyebrows to shoot up to his hairline. He watched as unusual chakra flooded her arms pooling into her hands before pouring forth from her long delicate fingers. A blue glow began to appear around her chakra blades before bursting forth into a blue fiery flame.

'_Oh my Kami_!' He gasped flustered beyond comprehension. It took several minutes to recover from the shock of her revelation. It was then he remembered the appearance of Zetsu's body. The deep multiple lacerations and the scorch marks that covered the Akatsuki's mutilated body. Realization dawned on him.

'_This is how she killed him.'_ His voice having a slight ring of pride to it. He began to ponder why she had never used this chakra before. He knew if she had he would have heard about it. Yet the first time he knew anything of it was the night her team died. His thoughts quickly fled his mind as he watched in horror as her body feel limp into the water.

"Hinata!" He screamed panic shuttering through his body. Throwing his jounin jacket to the ground he dove into the water. His eyes stung as the water touched him. Sweeping the rocky floor bottom frantically he searched for her. The waterfall causing the dirt to stir in at the bottom making his visibility short. His hands brushed across something. Grabbing it tightly in his fist and pulling it close. He saw her midnight blue hair floating in front of him. His hand clutching her net shirt. Grabbing her limp motionless body into his arms. He broke through the water gasping in a lungful of air. Dragging her near weightless body to the shoreline he turned her to her side as water drained from her mouth. Leaning over he slowly blew a strong breath past her cold lips. He thanked all the gods and goddesses when he heard a ragged breath come from her blue tinted lips. Followed by body shuddering coughs. Rolling her on her back his eyes searched her body then face for injuries. A small amount of water still dripped from the corner of her pale blue tinted lips. His fingers wiping it away before going up to trace the thin scar that ran down her cheek. He pulled away as she sucked in a large breath. Her eyes fluttered slightly but never fully opening.

"Kakashi…?" Her voice whispered softly before trailing off. As darkness swirled around pulling her back in its depth.

"Mai Bara!" He whispered. His voice strained. "Don't ever scare me like that again." He knew she couldn't hear him but he had to say those words. The panic he felt watching her slip under the water…floating lifeless under the waterfall….her lips cold and blue. He hadn't felt that kind of fear. His mind began searching for the answer.

"Since Obito and Rin died." He gasped in realization. Lifting her up gentle into his arms he closed his eyes for a moment. Water dripping off them both. He shivered as the breeze blew across his wet skin. Though it was warming late spring breeze, it still sent a chill through him. Then again maybe it was the sight he relived behind closed eyes that made his hair stand on end. Of nearly losing this rare flower he held in his arms that sent those chills through his heart. He opened his eyes looking down at the small woman he held tight against his chest. A few deep blue hair strands lay across her pale sunken in cheeks. How had he not noticed these last few weeks how pale and thin she had become? He knew she had not been sleeping very well. It was only natural after all she had suffered, but this was too much. She looked deathly pale and malnourished.

"This will not do Mai Bara." Pressing his lips in a thin line behind his wet mask. "No this will not do at all." He whispered as he quickly carried her towards his home in the Hatake clan's estates. He would send Pakkun back later for their discarded clothes. Getting her warm and dry was his priority now.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Hope you enjoyed and please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	11. Promise To A Rose

**Only You Understand My Pain**

**Kakashi x Hinata**

**Chapter 11**

**Promise to a Rose**

Laying her exhausted body onto the futon couch he could see even unconscious her body shivered. Going to the closet he pulled out a thick quilt. It was red with silver kunai designs stitched into it. Most were crooked but he never cared. His fingers ran absentmindedly for a second over the missed stitches. He couldn't help but smirk remembering how happy Rin had been that Christmas. She presented one to each of her teammates. It was during her faze to prove to her male teammates she could still be a girly girl when she wanted to. Two months later she was kidnapped on their mission and Obito died. Shaking the thoughts from his head he pulled his wet mask down. Knelling down he covered his rose's cold body .He knew that he should remove her wet clothes but since she had very little on as it was. He tried to focus on warming her and not the sight of her wet in a net top her perk nipples standing out against the thin fabric. Oh, and how he could see every curve. Placing the quilt over her, quickly removing the wondrous tempting sight that was this velvet rose.

'_Fuck! What is wrong with me she nearly drowned and I am having lustful thoughts. Don't be a fool ." _He began mentally ticking off all the reasons he should not be having these thoughts_." One… she has always loved Naruto. Clueless Baka that he is. Two… you have nothing to offer her. What heart do I have left anymore to give. Three…She is nine years younger then you. Okay that is not that big of a no-no but still. Four…Oh Kami she is beautiful. Wait that isn't a reason." _Mentally smacking himself as he let out an exasperated sigh.

Leaving her sleeping peacefully he went to change his own wet clothes. Discarding his wet mask he reached for a dry one. His hand hesitated just hovering over it before grasping it in his fist. His mind somewhat confused by this emotion running through him. He just did not feel like hiding behind it. Not today not from her. Dropping the small blue fabric back on the bathroom counter. He instead reached for a thick white cotton towel.

Taking the towel he did his best to dry the long tendrils of her midnight hair. When it was nearly dry he couldn't help but let his fingers thread through the silky locks. It was like his hands had a mind of their own. Letting the silky threads go he brushed his thumb across the thin red scar that claimed her left cheek. It did not take an ounce away from her beauty. She still looked as soft and delicate just like a rose. Her skin soft pale and velvet smooth.

'_Funny how we both carry a scar on that side. Scars that go much deeper then the flesh' _He mused inwardly. A small pang of pain running through his chest as he ran his finger again acrossed it. He nearly jumped out of his skin when a soft pitiful whimper left her pale lips followed by a scream. He knew he shouldn't be shocked that she called out their names. I mean how many times had he awoken in the dead of night calling out for his own lost friends.

"Shh…Hinata its okay." He cooed softly his hand brushing over her forehead gentle. How stupid those few words sounded. He knew that it was not okay. They were never coming back. Of course it wasn't going to be okay. Yet as his hand again brushed through her soft hair he felt her nightmare pass. She seemed to calm with his touch. Falling back into a deep slumber.

He looked out the window seeing the sun beginning to dip down as sunset approached. Looking down at her he didn't have the heart to wake her. She was so pale and the dark rings around her eyes just pushed him further into the decision. His Mae Bara was staying the night. She desperately needed rest and when she woke food. Staring down at her he could see the weight lose.

"This will not do." He whispered softly. "If I am to train you, we will need to get your health back."

Getting up he went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

'_Wonder what she likes to eat?_' He queried. As he began cutting vegetables for stir fry. He thought she needed some protein so he added some beef to the wok. He was never really very good with cooking but had learned enough to survive on. Especially since he was on his own, alone most of his life. He added the rice to the cooker. As he busied himself he stole little glances over at the sleeping rose. A small thought began nagging him.

"_Hiashi Hyuga might not appreciate his heiress staying the night_." His head turned again to look into the living room. He could see her chest move up and down in an even rhythmic pattern. She definitely needed this sleep.

'_Fuck him! She is twenty one …an adult for Kami sake_. " He fumed absentmindedly stirring the food.

" _The man obvious doesn't give a damn about his daughter. For her to look so malnourished and exhausted. Hell the bastard never even came to see her in the ICU." _

His mind just could not fathom a man doing this to their child. Their own flesh and blood.

" _Kuso she nearly lost her life and what does he do? … forbid the clan to visit.' _He felt his normal calm ebbing away an unusual anger filled him. He felt an overwhelming protectiveness come over him. Just what had this wisp of a woman, the one who now lay sleeping on his couch. What had she done exactly to cause these feelings in him?

Dropping the vegetables in he covered the dish and turned the heat off. Reaching in cupboard for the plates. He remembered back to the funeral. There she was severely injured, walking out of the hospital without permission. He never knew just how she has come about getting the snow white kimono but she had truly looked like an angel who had fallen from the clouds above. A small smile curled on his face as he thought of the pure innocence of ethereal beauty she possessed.

It was lost quickly into a scowl. As he remembered that haunting look on her face, as she watched her own father turn his back on her . When she had needed him the most. She was injured…lost…broken… heart shattered. She had needed her family but received nothing but a cold shoulder. A thought hit him like a ton of bricks. She had truly meant what she said that day at the memorial stone. Kiba and Shino had been her family, her only family.

He knew that feeling all to well. His own parents died when he was just a young child. Rin and Obito had taken their place only to be snatched away. Leaving him alone just like Hinata was now. Setting the plates on the table he found his feet moving him towards her. Looking down his hand brushed a strand of midnight hair from her face.

'"I promise Mai Bara you are not alone. I'm here." He sighed heavily. "I don't know how, but I will watch over you."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Kami God

Mai Bara My Rose

Kuso Damn

Baka Idiot

Hope you enjoyed much more still to come…..

Please review!!!!


	12. A Recessive Gene

**Only You Understand My Pain**

**A Kakashi x Hinata Fan Fiction**

**Chapter 12**

**A Recessive Gene**

A calming voice filled her tired mind. It called soothing warmth to fill her emptiness. She almost didn't want to give into the knowledge she needed to wake. Her dark lashes fluttering slightly before allowing them to open to the light. She gasped as her eyes opened to find Kakashi leaning over her. Not just Kakashi but a bare faced mask less Kakashi. Her eyes soaking in everything. Ever edge, curve, and dip in his near flawless face. To say he was handsome was an understatement. Her mind only slightly understanding why he his those features behind a mask.

"Kakashi?" She asked softly.

"Yo." He smiled down at her. She could see dimples in that heavenly smile.

"How?" Her eyes darting around the room.

"You passed out. " He retorted before letting out a sigh. " You nearly drowned. Don't ever scare me like that again… okay."

"I…I.. Ano…thank you Kakashi." She smiled her fingers playing with the corners of the blanket that covered her.

"Dinners ready." He grinned. "Here let me help you up." She reluctantly let him help her up. He showed her the bathroom where she could change into her kimono that Pakkun had recovered. She returned shortly gracefully sitting on the cushion at the table. After watching her play with her food. Sliding it here and there on her plate he cleared his throat.

"You need to eat." He scolded.

"I'm not very hungry." She replied softly.

"To bad eat or I won't train you. Or if you rather have me feed you like a mother bird…" He let his words trail off.

"Okay I get it." She scowled before placing a bite in her mouth. It was actually very good. She quickly ate another piece.

"See you were hungry." He smirked. She loved to see those dimples and how the corner of his eye crinkled when he smiled.

"So why do I get the honor of seeing you without your mask?" She asked her soft eyes meeting his.

He just shrugged his shoulders and continued eating. Her eye brow rose at his avoidance of the issue.

'_Why me of all people did he show his face to?_' Her mind raced. ' _I am nothing special. I wonder if he realizes how handsome he really is?_'

" So are you going to fill me in on this chakra I saw you use?" His voice breaking her inner musing.

"Oh… I guess I haven't really explained it to you." Her head dropping. " My mother, Kiba and Shino were the only ones to know till you." Silence filled the room. She knew he was giving her time to collect her thoughts and feelings. It was just so damn hard to talk about. With Kiba and Shino well they were family and safe. Others especially her clan felt she was a jinx and a freak to have this power. It was something of a shame to her clan.

"It is a special kekkei genkai." She nearly whispered the words.

"Wait how can that be you're a Hyuga your byakugan is your families kekkei genkai." He nearly chocked out shocked by her words.

"That is true the Byakugan is the dominant kekkei genkai.I like most of my clan have it. Though the house members have it sealed. The thing that the rest of the village does not know is that there is a recessive kekkei genkai in my family. It is considered more as a curse then a gift to my clan. Ever forty or so years a child is born with it. No one knows really how it became. Some have speculated it is from the mix of a pure blood Hyuga with another clan many years ago. The rule of the clan is when it is discovered the child is immediately sealed." She let out a deep sigh as she looked up to stare at him.

"My mother felt different about it. Maybe because she was not a Hyuga by birth and that her family had many medical nins in it. She hid my rare kekkei genkai from my father and the clan. When I was three she explained to me how important my gift …as she liked to call it could help others but that the clan must never know." Reaching for her tea she took a sip to help the dryness that had come to her throat.

"This genkai Aoi kaen (blue flame). Well it enables me to heal faster then a normal medical shosen jutsu. Well it will when I am trained better in medical nin jutsu." Titling her head to the side she paused for a moment.

"It also seems to heal not only faster but better in most cases. Since my family has always sealed it there really is no full account of what it's full potential could be. The only draw back is it needs more chakra then others." She whispered hoarsely. "As you saw today I can use it for more then healing….but also a weapon."

"I know your clan is not a big supporter of medical nins being in their family but if you have this special kekkei genkai why hide it?" He asked.

"Because it is considered a weakness." Her voice rising as she dropped the cup in her hand on the table.

"Now that my clan knows I have it and was not sealed as a child. Well it is not a good thing…let's just leave it at that…" Her words trailing off sadly.

"Hinata how do you feel about it?" She gasped looking up at him. No one had ever asked her how she had felt before.

"I…I…" Turning her head to the side a soft sigh leaving her lips sadly. "I want to use it to heal. To use it like my mother had always wanted me to…helping others."

"Then I will help you learn how to increase your chakra strength." He smiled warmly.

"Thank you Kakashi." Bowing her head respectfully at him. "Only one thing."

" That would be?" He questioned.

"My clan must never know what I am doing until I have full control. Then maybe they will see it as a gift and not as a curse."

"My lips are sealed." He smirked over the table at her.

O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O

And there it is the reason behind her strange jutsu. Hopefully I explained it enough. Also not sure if I used the right Japanese term for flame. If I did get it wrong please let me know. Yah I know blue flame not very creative but what the heck it was all that came to me.

More to come.

Please review and no flaming blue or regular LOL!


	13. Training Begins

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Only You Understand My Pain

Kakashi x Hinata

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Chapter 13

Training Begins

Kakashi awoke to the aromatic smell of coffee and something else. Taking another deep breath he realized it was food. Wiping his hand across his face he shook off his fatigue. Sitting up with a groan, he rolled his shoulders easing the stiffness that seized his muscles. Standing up he crossed the room. Pushing back the heavy curtains. His eyes squinting as the bright sunlight streamed through his window. His eyes traveled over the flower garden that spanned the large courtyard. A small frown crossed his face.

"I really let it go." He realized sadly as he looked out over his mother's garden.

" Sorry mother, I know how you loved your rose garden. Rin was always so good about keeping it nice and I just let it fall to the weeds and brambles. " Seeing the few roses that had survived, his mind quickly turned to Hinata. He couldn't help himself she seemed to fill his every waking moment. Last night he had watched quietly over her for hours as she slept. Only turning in himself when he felt her sleep was tranquil unburdened by nightmares. Like instinct he knew he would not sleep if she was vexed with bad dreams. He slipped quickly into his own peaceful sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. The image of her angelic face as she slumbered, filling his own sleep filled mind.

"She has made me into a moth drawn to her flame.' He smirked, his unmatched eyes trailing up to watch the white clouds floating across a pale blue sky. Turning away he grabbed his mask and jounin jacket before heading to the kitchen and the delicious scent it held.

"Morning Hinata." He called as he pulled his jacket on. He looked up to find the kitchen empty. He felt a rush of fear grab him but he quickly squelched it, as he took in the note next to the coffee pot. Reaching for it he couldn't help but smile as he read her words.

__

Kakashi,

Went to train and don't worry I won't do anything stupid. Thanks again for everything yesterday.

I left an omelet in the warmer and rice in the cooker. My thanks for yesterday. After you eat meet me at team 8 training field.

Hinata

He couldn't help but laugh at her comment 'to not do anything stupid.'

"Well she sure is anxious to start training." He grinned eagerly. The idea of spending hours with Hinata appealing to him more and more. Even if it was only training. Spotting his favorite book on the kitchen counter his eye brow peaked curiously.

"I don't remember leaving it here." Picking up the book scanning it curiously he paused as a thought passed through his mind.

"Nah, she wouldn't." Shaking his head, tucking her note inside one of the pages, he stuffed it in his back pocket. Letting the idea of the shy Hyuga reading is hentai book go. He quickly fixed his plate, dropping down at the table. He couldn't help the groan of bliss at the first bite. It was like tasting a bit of heaven. He was certain of it nothing could taste this good.

"If Naruto only knew what he was missing. Nah…. he could never appreciate this culinary gift, the way he ingests food." He scoffed loudly. "Naruto has know idea how lucky he is to have her affection." As the words left him, an uncomfortable feeling passed through his chest. Something he had never felt before. The word jealousy came to mind but he quickly pushed it away. He had no rights to her. He was a weathered shinobi.

He never felt jealousy over any woman, they were fun. From time to time he took one to bed but nothing to take serious. How could he get serious with any woman with his heart cracked and withered? Shaking his head angrily he chastised his thinking. These were not the thoughts he wanted to dwell on.

The loud clatter of his dish dropping into the sink too hard made him cringe. He defiantly didn't need to dwell on these kinds of thoughts. He just needed a quick shower to rid himself of his wondering thoughts.

Sighing heavily, his hand running through his thick silver hair, he left the room .

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Hinata slowly made her way through the trees. The leaves becoming full and green with the arriving spring weather. She smiled softly as she walked under the new foliage. Her hand reaching up, pulling off the thin blue scarf that wound around her head and face. She hated it and wished to just rid herself of it now that she was away from the clan home. Stuffing it in the pocket of her new jacket. Her hurried action causing her to miss, her hand sliding over the unfamiliar fabric. She cringed as she glanced down at the missed pocket. She hated this new jacket. It wasn't the design nor how it fit. Truth be told it was actually rather flattering. Hugging the curves of her body. Even the color was fitting, it brought out the faint trace of lavender in her pale moonstone eyes. No, it was the knowledge of why she needed a new jacket that had her unsettled. Her hand reaching up bundling the fabric over her chest, she nearly clawed at it, as her heart filled tightly with pain. Making her feel as if a vice was crushing her chest. Her arms wrapping around herself tightly, to hold the flood of pain from over flowing. Anything to quell the overwhelming pain inside her burning heart. After a few gasping breaths the pressure slowly retreated as she once again moved to the meeting place. Her steps slower then before.

She remembered the day Neji presented her with the new jacket. Neji had showed her a rare kindness that day. Granted they did get along better then they had in their genin days. Neji realizing that Hinata was just as caged as he was. She had only been out of the hospital a few days when he brought it to her room. It was in a large white box, tied with a bright yellow ribbon. She remembered opening it and thanking him but asking why. She already had a jacket. She remembered how his face seemed to pale, his eyes refusing to make contact with hers.

"It's gone Hinata." He had informed her but refused to explain how and why. It disturbed her greatly. It had been her favorite coat. Pale blue with a fringe of soft white fur around the hood and sleeves. Kiba and Shino had given it to her as a birthday present. It wasn't till a few days later did she find out what had happened to it. She should have realized but her mind had refused to remember. Some way of self preservation.

Hanabi had been the one to awaken her mind to the truth. That her coat had been drenched in her teammates blood.

"I told Neji you would want it as a souvenir of your failure, but he didn't listen to a word I said and burned it." Her lip pouted but her voice was ringing with glee." Yes her baby sister was in pure bliss, her pale eyes shimmering in pure impiety. She found so much joy in shoving Hinata's failings in her face.

Hinata sighed heavily as she recalled her sister's words. They didn't hurt as much anymore. She was use to her hatred. Hanabi seemed to have found pointing out her failings on a regular basis as her goal in life.

"Just like father." She whispered bitterly her hand brushing the pocket that now held the blue scarf.

She reached the training field faster then she had expected. Her soft eyes traveled over the large familiar field and its surrounding trees. Closing her eyes she could picture them sparing, sitting on their favorite log eating lunch as Akamaru begged Kiba to play fetch with his yellow ball. Even the memories of Kiba and Shino's spats were pleasing. She would happily give anything, to once again hear one of their male ego driven fights.

"So many memories." Her voice barely a whisper. She began to feel the tightness return to her chest.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." Taking a deep breath she pushed herself forward. Reminding herself she was doing this for them. After a few warming stretches she stood silently in front of her training log. A smile tugged the corner of her lips as her body moved into a familiar fighting stance. Her palms facing out before pushing forward. Each one landing a blow after blow to the pad. She felt an ease seep through her body. Each hit familiar, like the act of breathing. So many years of practicing, pushing herself, imprinted on the heavily stained padding. Ever moment of blood, sweat and tears etched into its worn cover.

Her hands wielding a deadly strength, like a ferocious wind, tittering into a tornado. All sounds of the surrounding world and the troubles that filled her life melted away. She no longer heard the friendly chirping of tiny birds, the rustling of forest leaves. It was all silenced as her sorrow tormented mind fell into a state of repetitive numbness. The morning sun washing it away. Time seemed to pass quickly the cool morning air turning warm. Beads of sweat flittering across her forehead and chest. The sticky feeling finally drawing her back to reality. Dropping her worn arms, she leaned heavily on her knees. The adrenaline that had been surging through her body dropping as she caught her breath. All in all she felt the stress of her family's anger of learning about her recessive jutsu. Their constant displeasure with her, wane away. Standing straight she looked into the bluing sky. Fluffy powder white clouds floating peacefully across. The day was heating up to be a warm one. Her hand lifting to slowly slide down her jacket zipper. Her soft shoulders shrugging the pale lavender coat off her shoulders, letting it slip down her lithely pale arms, before letting it drop to the grassy ground behind her. Her hand reaching up to remove the small butterfly clip in her hair. She pulled her long ebony blue hair up into a pony tail. Tying it in place with the butterfly. Her thoughts flowing through her like a river.

O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O

Sorry for taking so long to update this story. Had a tad bit of writer's block. I would like to shout out a thanks to Cutecbuttons for some of her ideas on training. Thanks!!

Hope you all enjoyed now if you would just click on the button below and review. I would be so ever grateful.


	14. Baby Steps

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Only You Understand My Pain

Kakashi x Hinata

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Chapter 14

Baby Steps

Hinata was so lost in thought she missed the rustle of tree leaves as Kakashi dropped to the ground, not bothering to mask his approach. Her back was facing him and what he saw slowed his steps. His eyes catching what in his mind, was a very alluring sensual picture. His throat became dry as a desert as he saw the jacket slid off perfect, smooth curved shoulders only to slowly, teasingly slip down soft, creamy, white arms. Before dropping from her delicate hands to pool behind her feet. Those same smooth now bare arms stretching up to move through her long hair. Hair that looked like midnight blue satin. His mind remembering how graceful she moved on the water. Those satin silk locks of hair dancing around her head like a dark halo. She was so beautiful, enticing and seductive yet so pure. He had to bite his bottom lip painfully just to keep the groan of bliss from escaping his lips. As he eyed the thin black mesh top. Only a small strip of solid black fabric covered her large amble breasts, leaving the rest of her creamy flesh barely hidden by mesh weaving.

"Kakashi…" Her soft smiling voice called to him.

Clearing his throat he mentally slapped himself, while praying she hadn't noticed his lust filled leering or the painful tightness of his pants.

"Yo!" Giving her a small wave. He was amazed he was even able to get that out.

'_Damn why do I feel so nervous_' He winced inward. _'Oh, maybe because you were having lust filled thoughts about sweet, innocently pure, Hinata.' _His mind chastised replying to his inner ramblings like a crazy loon.

Her brow furrowed as she watched him. He seemed to having some sort of inner struggle. She had to admit to herself he looked adorable standing there perplexed. He was normally so laid back and unattached to others around him. A fake carefree smile slipping from his face to hide behind a book. For a fleeting moment she started to realize, that when he was with her, he showed more than the lazy copy nin everyone else saw.

"Kakashi are you okay?"

"Huh?…Oh um…sure." He brushed her off with the wave of his hand.

"So you ready to get started?" He watched in amusement as she nodded vigorously. Her hands clasped behind her back as she rocked slightly back and forth on the heels of her feet. She looked like a giddy school girl.

"Then let's start. Show me your hands."

Letting go of her clasped hands she brought them forward palms up. Her eyes giving him a questioning glance. Her face suddenly heating up as he touched her hands gentle with his. Spreading the fingers slightly apart.

"Okay, when I touch one of your fingers, I want you to bring just a small marble sized ball of your special

kekkei genkai to the tip and hold it for three seconds. Will make it longer after a few tries."

"You're kidding right?" Giving him an incredulous look. As if he had slipped his mind." That's like beginning genin!"

"You heard me." His voice coming out hard and gruff. "You want me to train you right?"

She cringed inward hearing the gruffness in his voice. She had asked him to train her. He had willing given up his time, and here she stood insulting his wisdom.

"Gomen nasai Kakashi-sensei." Dropping her head shamefully. "I had no right to question…"

Her words halted as she felt his fingers touch her skin, lifting her chin up.

"It's okay Hinata. "He smiled gentle. The thumb of his finger caressing her skin a second before letting go. "We need to start with the basics… " He paused his eyes holding her gazing stare. "If we want to increase the strength of your rare chakra , you need to learn how to control it first. With control you will gain strength. So we will start from the beginning with basic chakra control." He gave her a reassuring smile.

"So baby steps?" She smiled shyly back.

"Baby steps." He repeated ruffling the top of her head playfully. Giving him an almost teasingly mischievous smile she placed her hands outstretched, fingers sprayed apart. Her large moonstone eyes shining brightly at his own pale blue one.

She giggled nervously, before biting shyly on her bottom lip when he touched her right index finger. She swore for a moment his touch was like static electricity. Sending a bolt of heat through her. He shot her a halfhearted frown. Biting down softly once again on her bottom lip, she squared her shoulders, leaving all giddish behavior behind. With little effort a tear drop sized ball of chakra appeared . Glowing brightly on her long elegant finger tip. She let it build quickly to the size of a marble, radiating deep blue.

Kakashi sucked in a deep breath, his eye unable to pull away from the sight. He had never seen such a beautiful and captivating chakra as the kind Hinata held poised on the tip of her finger. In fact he had never thought of chakra as beautiful. Powerful, helpful, a tool in a shinobi's arsenal of weaponry and self defense. Yet now he stood in awe of a glowing ball of blue light. It was breathtaking sky blue, no not sky-blue his mind corrected but sapphire blue. Had Hinata herself not spoken of Shino calling it that. Yes, that was what it was, perfect like a sapphire jewel shining in the sunlight. Just like it's gentle wielder. A rare beauty, breathtaking, mesmerizing. She was delicate, yet strong.

Looking up Hinata blushed deeply at his intense gaze.

"Kakashi?" He didn't react to her voice, it was becoming a pattern with him. She frowned worriedly.

"Kakashi!" Her voice called loudly.

"Huh?" Her voice waking him from his inner musings. If he wasn't wearing his mask she would have caught a slight blush that now covered the elder jounin's face.

"You…ah sorta…seemed lost in thought again." She felt her blush intensify to her utter embarrassment.

'Why is he looking at me like I am something special." Her self doubt once again eating away at her. Her shoulders slumped.

"D…Did I…I do it wrong?" Her old nervous stutter returning as her left hand reached up to the scar on her face.

"Wrong?" He gasped loudly, startling her. "It was incredible, every time I see it I am awed. It's amazing…"He paused looking away nervously, whispering softly under his breath. "Just like you Hinata."

Did she hear him right. Her eyes widening.

'_You don't know how wrong you are Kakashi_.' She protested silently. '_There is nothing incredible about a Hyuga failure like me.'_ For several minutes an awkward silence filled the air between them. Both lost in their own thoughts.

Finally getting control of the unusual emotions she filled him with, he cleared his throat and prompted her to once again raise her hands. This time he pushed all thoughts from his mind, concentrating on pointing to various fingers. She matched each and everyone of his prompts. The afternoon seemed to pass quickly. As the hours grew he picked up the pace. Calling out the fingers instead of touching them. She became so quick with a response. She got to the point of pooling a small amount of chakra in all her fingers, only intensifying the blue chakra glow in the fingers he called. It was tedious and boring but helped her mind from drifting to her heartache and sadness that on most days seemed to devour her.

As the sun began its journey downward towards sunset, Kakashi called it a day.

"Great work Hinata." She smiled softly, reaching down to pick up her discarded jacket.

"I know it was boring but it is…."

"Necessary." She filled in. "I understand Kakashi…baby steps. A start in the right direction." She beamed as she pulled on her jacket. She reached into her pocket, but froze looking unsure, had she heard him right.

"So what about it Hinata…." He asked again. "My treat for giving you a boring training day."

"Dinner?" She asked unsure.

"Come on you must be starving." Her stomach rumbling as if on cue at his words. Placing a hand to quiet it, she laughed.

"I guess I am." Her eyebrows frowning down slightly. "Kakashi can we… get it to go."

He frowned questioningly at her. Placing her hand gentle on his arm she sighed sadly, but a small soft smile still graced her face. "I haven't talked to them today." Her eyes softly pleading." If you don't mind can we go there and eat with our friends."

He couldn't stop the small smile that grew slowly till it reached his eyes. Anyone else would think it insane to eat at a memorial. But not Hinata. How many times over the long years had he not done just what she was asking. Taking his meal, to sit and spent the hours, leaning against the stone talking softly to them. His Mai Bara, kind and sweet seemed to feel the same and to hear her include his teammates warmed his heart.

"I would like that very much." He smiled softly down at her.

O.o.o.o.o.o.o.O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O

Aww do I hear the beginning pitter patter heartbeat of romance. Muwahahahaha… Maybe…..

Click and review. Make my normally boring day exciting. Please I beg you. LOL

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Japanese words…

Gomen nasai …I'm sorry

Mai Bara….My rose

Author note…..

Oh and for those who think eating at a grave is creepy, you are wrong. I bring my mother cake on her birthday. Sitting and eating. Sharing a daily activity makes you feel closer to the special ones you loved and lost. In many countries it is customary. Special days where families gather and eat among their dead loved ones.


	15. Little Orange Book

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Only You Understand My Pain

Kakashi x Hinata

Chapter 15

Little Orange book

Hinata felt uneasy being in the center of market district. The afternoon rush of people grew as evening approached. Villagers shuffled in and out of the many stores on their way home from work. Hinata waited patiently outside the small shop, as Kakashi ordered them two bento boxes. She wasn't blind to the looks they gave her. Some trying to be subtle, others outright rudely staring. It was easy to tone out the voices but their eyes, she just could not escape from. Why did they all have to stare? Couldn't they just leave her alone? Sitting on the small wooden bench, she tried to make herself small and unnoticeable. Dropping her head, she stared at the ground below. Letting her long midnight hair drop forward, to cover her face. Her hand going up to touch the red scar that marred her pale skin. It wasn't that it pained her. No that only happened when she woke from her nightmares. Her fingers gingerly dropping down, reaching for the fabric in her pocket.

"Maybe I should …..if he …no!" She cursed inwardly, dropping her hand from her jacket. Her fingers trembling slightly as she played with the hem of her coat. Her head rising as he called her name. Her eyes watching Kakashi as he stood beside her, two wrapped boxes dangling from his fingers.

"Come on beautiful, let's go have an early dinner with…" He paused looking at her curiously. "You okay?" Her eyes widened, slightly as she nodded. A small blush crept across her cheeks at the endearment he had called her. He turned away, easily falling into his normally lazy stroll.

"_Did I just call her beautiful?_' He mentally slapped himself. His eye wandered over as she fell into step next to him.

The sun was beginning to set when they reached the monument. Torch flames flickered around the monument area. Since the battle, Tsunade had made it the job of beginning genins to light the tall torches. The flaming light keeping the darkness of night away from the memorial. A sign of respect for the fallen.

He watched as she greeted her team mate's .Her voice soft as the willowy breeze that filled the approaching night air. He couldn't help but smile as she moved to greet his teammates before sitting on the freshly trimmed grass, that surrounded the black stone.

Hinata suddenly felt uneasy her fingers nervously poking together in her old childhood habit.

__

'It almost feels like a date.

' She mused to herself. As she watched him untie the knotted cloth that surrounded their dinner. Maybe it was his gentlemanly attitude. Stating there was no chair to pull out so the least he could do was untie the boxes and lay out their food.__

' No you're being silly Hinata. He could never be interested. It ?Naruto never noticed me when I was younger how could I expect a handsome experienced man like Kakashi to see me as a desirable woman

.' Her mind swirled unhappily. The blush on her face turning crimson as a few lusty thoughts filled her mind as she watched him. Her eyes dropping quickly down in embarrassment. She knew how handsome his face was after gazing upon it the night before. It was like a masterpiece of fine art, from his high cheek bones, to his finely chiseled jaw. She had already thanked the God's she was graced to be one of the few to ever lay eyes on those incredible, perfectly shaped, warm lips.

Looking up her pearl eyes widened to find his face now unmasked. A small smile tugging the corner of those perfect lips as he set the food out. She couldn't stop her eyes from wandering down from his lips and past his adams apple, dropping quickly to gaze on his chest. He had taken off his jounin jacket earlier. Offering it to her, to sit on. She had tried to kindly refuse but he won't accept no for an answer. Informing her the ground was slightly damp and cold. He wasn't going to let his star pupil fall sick. Now she was glad he had been so chivalrous, as her eyes wandered, taking in the dips and curves of his firm chest. The tight sleeveless black shirt clinging to his body like a second skin.

'_What is happening to me_.' She chastised herself. '_I am acting like Jiraiya.'_ Here he was being so kind. Giving his time away to help her and she was leering at him. Her eyes undressing every inch of his clothed body, like a hormonally crazed teen fan girl. No she was worse then the famous pervy sage. Closing her eyes she sighed inwardly. Her mind flashing back to breakfast.

__

Upon waking she found the little orange book lying on the floor. When she had first saw it she thought nothing of it. Thinking he had probably dropped it when he carried in. Picking it up, she carried it into the kitchen. Sitting it down on the marble counter. She quickly forgot about it, as she busied herself with making breakfast. After placing Kakashi's food in the warmer, she set her own plate on the table. Sitting down she realized she forgot her tea. When she had gotten up to retrieve it her soft eyes once again spied the little orange book. She couldn't help herself as curiosity overcame her commonsense. Picking up the book she sat down to eat. She eyed the odd cover, while taking a few bites. 'Ichi ichi Paradise…' Her lips mouthed. It was no surprise to her the author was Konoha's one and only Pervy Sannin. It was common knowledge. Not to mention an utter annoyance to most of the kunoichi and young woman of the village. The man literally stalked all the bath houses, hoping to sneak a peek. Sipping on her oolong tea she opened to the first page. The first few pages were nothing to shocking intrusive or vulgar.

'Just typical cheap romantic novel drabble.' She mused quietly to herself. 'Jiraiya definitely needed to stop peeking and take some creative writing classes. This is just terrible. 'She snickered softly. It wasn't until chapter three did Hinata understand all of the Sannin's never ending research.  
Her eyes widened and she had to lick her very dry lips. Her eyes scanned the first paragraph, as she read her face going from pale to fiery red. She was suddenly grateful she didn't faint anymore. After years of Kiba's brazen hormonal behavior and the parade of hentai magazines he would pull out during ' mission downtime'. She was no innocent, puritan prude.

"How Kiba loved his Kunoichi's Gone Wild DVD's." She laughed quickly covering her mouth, her eyes darting to the other room. The last thing she needed was for Kakashi to catch her snooping through his favorite book. Closing her eyes and leaning back her mind drifted to old times.

She remembered how Shino would lecture Kiba constantly about exposing Hinata's innocent mind to hentai.

"Hinata is a proper lady and innocent . She doesn't need to see your stupid Village Playboy magazine thrown around the tent." Shino lectured. Hinata had to eye roll at that. Innocent she wasn't . Quiet and shy maybe but innocent, hardly. As the only female on the team and having the byakugan, she had watched both of them bathing. Nor was mister uptight Shino above reading porn. She had caught him numerous times when he thought she was asleep. After all she was a normal human female. Like most of her fellow chuunin teams. Many teammates fooled around. She herself had made out a few times with Kiba. Even Shino had kissed her when they were still teens. Nothing further then kissing and some heavy petting. A life of a ninja was hard. The stress alone screamed for the need of some type of release. It was easier for her with her teammates. They were a family, safe and comforting. It was never anything more than that. Indeed a life of a shinobi was hard and often short lived. After the thought filled her mind she quickly stood up dropping the book on the counter and writing a quick note. She could not have these thoughts, they were crushing her.

Hinata's eyes fluttered open as she heard him call out her name. Her thoughts confused and pained. She looked up into his worried face.

To be cont…

O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O.o.o.o.o.o.o.O.

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Author notes.

Read before flaming this chapter!

1. Okay ya I sorta did a flashback in a flashback. Sorry but it was the only way I could see doing this.

2. Yes she messed around as a teen with her teammates. I mean come on people reality. Teens plus hormones. Add some stress/threat of death and all alone in a tent. Ya that would happen in the real world. Hell how many teens in the real world have had meaningless sex when drunk at a party. And I never said Hinata had sex with them just making out. Also another reality check of the real world. Hinata may be shy and quiet but no normal teen female or woman doesn't have wild lusty thoughts from time to time.

3. Yes it will be explained further the whole plot behind the scarf and the staring of the crowd. Besides them looking at the woman who killed an Akatsuki.

4 Oh on a fun note. The black shirt Kakashi is wearing well I got it from Saiyuki anime and the black top Sanzo wears that is just hot and smexy.


	16. Game, Set, Flirt?

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Only You Understand My Pain

Kakashi x Hinata

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Chapter 16

Game, Set, Flirt?

Hinata had to admit to herself it was probably the happiest time she had spent at the monument. Probably the happiest time she had since her life began to crumble. Why was it that Kakashi could make her smile when all she had wanted to do this day was cry? Even after she had drifted off earlier. The memories of them happy yet painful. She thought he would find her stupid or slightly insane as she explained it to him. Instead he listened and then softly told her he felt the same. Even though the memories were painful in once sense in another they were joyful.

"Remembering a happy moment even if just for a second, you can lose yourself and forgot the pain."

He really did understand the pain she felt. As the hours grew later, though she didn't want it to end, she knew it must. How she dreaded going home, it was so peaceful and relaxing when she was with him. Almost like when she spent time with Kiba and Shino. Yet somewhere in the back of her mind, she felt it was different, some how special. She just couldn't grasp why. Giving him a soft smile, she helped him gather up their food. She placed a kiss to each name of her family before starting to leave. They would never just be her teammates but her family. She mused quietly as she watched Kakashi pull up his mask and then tug on his jacket. What would it be like if Kakashi was family like Shino and Kiba? Shaking her head she just could not see him as a brother type. Was it just her hormones talking again? What ever it was she didn't have time for these thoughts. She had a task and mission of her own to fill. She would master her genkai and save lives. She had to for the memory of her family and maybe even for Kakashi's own teammates.

"You are looking awful serious." His deep voice breaking her thoughts. "Everything okay?" She smiled at his kindness. No one at her home would give a damn about her feelings.

"I'm fine Kakashi." She smiled up at him brightly.

"Okay, if you say so. Well let's get going…I'll walk you home." Kakashi moved to walk next to her. Even with his mask now back in place, she just knew he was grinning impishly down at her. Just like she knew arguing with a man like Kakashi, one hundred percent gentleman was useless. She just couldn't help but stand up for herself. Not sure what was bringing out this strong feminine side of her, but liking it all the same.

"I'm fine. I am a kunoichi, if you hadn't noticed." She smiled teasingly. "A big girl, not afraid of the dark…"

"So not afraid of the dark anymore hmm…well…how about you just humor me and let me walk you home anyways."

"Fine… dork." She giggled. His eye went wide, faking being appalled at her words.

"Dork…me?" He asked pointing to himself. "Geesh Hinata, you sure know how to bruise a man's ego." He smirked behind is mask.

"Ego huh." She bit her lips holding in her laughter. She lost, as a finger quickly, silently, darted out and poked her in the side.

"S…stop…" She doubled over with giggles.

"Why Lady Hyuga, I have no idea what you are talking about. Stop….Stop what?" He feigned innocence.

She narrowed her eyes playfully.

"Innocent you are not Mr. Hatake."

"Ouch…there you go bruising my ego again. Make me feel like an ugly, old, withered man." He teased watching happily, as she laughed softly behind her small hand. He could go on all night, making a fool of himself, just to grasp a morsel of her laughter. It sounded like a glass temple chime blowing in the wind. Soft and light like the air moving it.

"You are a far cry from an old man, Kakashi. Not to mention you are no where near ugly. In fact you are a very attractive and sex…" She quickly clamped her hand over her lips. The red blush growing heavy on her cheeks. She started to wish she could melt into the ground. Maybe he hadn't heard her.

"Did you just call me….?" He could not believe his own ears. He must have heard wrong, no way she had tried to say he was sexy.

"Handsome!" Her voice squeaked loudly. "Y…yes I…I called y….you handsome." She sputtered, trying to back peddle her way out of her big mouthed, blunder. " L….like many m…men in Konoha."

"Reallyy..." He drawled slowly, as a mischievous glint twinkled in his blue eye. Stopping he turned to her. "Like who dear Hinata? What other men of this village do you find handsome, as you put it."

"W…well m…men… L…like Genma or….I..Iruka-sensei" Oh he was enjoying this little game now, as he listened to her childhood stutter, growing worse by the minute. Maybe he had heard her right. She was acting just like she use to when trying to talk to Naruto.

"Hmm, I guess they could be considered that. Anyone else Lady Hyuga?…. I'm sure you can give me a few more names. "

"Um…ano…well." Her mind panicked. She couldn't think of a damn name, as she watched him slowly move closer to her. He was so close, she could smell his unique scent. It was a mix of musk and the forest after it rained.

"Well…I'm waiting?" He grinned, taking another step closer. He was only three steps, from being pressed against her. He almost wondered if he had taken it too far. Her face was so red, he began to wonder if all her blood had gone to it. Her stutter was overwhelming her.

'_She wouldn't pass out, would she?' _He began to wonder.

Pulling herself together. She was not going to make a further fool of herself. Not in front of this wonderful man. She was a woman now dammit, not a little girl, with a stupid crush.

"Gai! Yes Might Gai…He is considered the Great Green beast of Konoha. A very youthful, handsome man." She smiled inwardly at her own genius.

"Huh!" Kakashi voice coming out like a shrill. He seemed to stumble as he took a step back. Hinata turned her head away, unable to hide the huge smile. In her mind she was screaming, '_Score, one point for Hinata._' After clearing his throat he began to walk again.

"You think Gai is handsome?" His voice incredulous and maybe a little disappointed.

"Oh, sure… why not." She said walking in step with him.

"Oh," was all he seemed to be able to say as silence filled the air. Kakashi felt like kicking himself in the ass. How could he have ever thought that she said he was sexy. No way would she ever find him sexy. He was just an old hentai reading, always late sensei, nothing more. He was such a stupid fool! Not to mention what the hell did he have to offer a woman, as beautiful and wonderful as his Bara.

'_Why am I even thinking about, being with her romantically?' _Giving himself another mental kick to the ass.

Hinata looked over at him from under her long dark lashes, then back to the road ahead. '_Maybe I should not have said that. Gai is his rival maybe I hurt his feelings, or worse he is angry with me. Stupid…stupid Hinata.'_ She mentally scolded herself. Why was she always making a fool of herself. Instead of looking strong, she had made him mad. The silence between them grew heavy in her heart. As they neared her home she realized something, her hand reaching to her coat pocket.

"Um…I can go from here…alone." She tried to hold the panic from her voice. "Thanks for everything." Before he could even respond she was gone.

His feet shuffled slowly down the street. " Man I really did fuck it up, tonight." He cringed. "She practically ran to get away from me. I should not have messed with her. Hinata is a refined lady not someone to play games and flirt with. Wait… flirt…" Smacking his head with the palm of his hand he groaned. "Kami-sama, I was actually flirting with…" He nearly gasped with realization. "Hinata Hyuga…real smart Kakashi….real smart." Making his way back home, he prayed he had not driven his Bara away forever.

O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O.

Closing the door to the main house as silently as possible. It was extremely late and with not coming home the night before, and the fact she snuck in and out quickly in the early morning she needed to use caution. Hinata stepped lightly in the darkened hall. Preparing to activate her byakugan, she was suddenly thrown against the wall. She staggered a few steps forward

"Where the hell have you been?" Her father's voice boomed loudly, making her ears sting.

"I was out." She replied short. She felt an anger grow inside her even though she knew better then to lash out at him.

"Only whores are out at this time of night. " His voice turning so icy cold, she could feel it slice through her.

"Now curb that damn tongue of yours and tell me where you have been for the last two nights. Unless it is true and you are a whore. Then again, maybe I should expect nothing less of a half breed like you." She felt his hand grab her shoulders painfully tight before spinning her around to face him. She cringed at his cruel words. She didn't know why he could still do that to her. After so many years of hearing him call her merciless and heartless words, she should be numb to it all. In fact for awhile, she had been but that was all before they died. She could already feel hear skin begin to bruise from his death grip.

"I asked you a question daughter!" The last word he spoke, sounding as if it tasted sour on his lips.

"I have been training father, trying to become stronger." She said softly.

"Bullshit!" His one hand letting go. She knew what was going to happen, before she even felt the biting raw sting of the slap, across her scarred cheek. She bit her tongue, feeling the metal taste of blood fill her mouth. Damn if she would cry out in pain for him.

"You are a liar. Training…humph…I think not. You have no team. You're weakness made sure of that. So do not lie and tell me you were training." His hand once again slapping hard across her pale flesh. She could feel her lip split, but once again refused to show her pain.

"Someone like you will never become stronger ." His voice letting out a short vile laugh. "Since you want to stay out at all hours of the night. Missing main house family dinners, you can spend the next week in your room. You will not speak to anyone, nor will anyone speak to you. Also you will be given no food only water. Maybe fasting for a few days will refresh your memory, to the clan's meal times. Since you have no team to use as alibi for missing them." She continued to stare at her feet, waiting for her dismissal. She didn't care if he starved her, it wasn't like she had any real appetite anymore. Then again she had promised Kakashi she would try and eat more.

'_Kakashi… oh no….what will he think when I don't show?'_

"Now get out of my site you worthless excuse for a daughter." She slowly turned to walk away. His voice halting her steps.

"Oh Hinata, remember your time is running out. You know what will happen if we can't find a suitable…"

"I know!" Her strained voice cutting him off. Her fists clenching, the nails cutting into the tender flesh. "You don't need to say it." Her voice becoming void of emotion. Let him slap her again, she did not want to hear the rest of his words. Instead he shoved past her. Hinata's small frame bouncing against the wall then dropping to the floor. Lifting herself from the cold matting she slowly made her way to her room. Sliding the door closed behind she dropped to the futon mattress on the floor. A hiss leaving her lips from the pain. Silvery moonlight streamed down on the trees outside her window. The wind stirring them side to side. Staring up at the ceiling she watched the shadows they created flicker across. Let them lock her up. She didn't care she had medical scrolls hidden in her room. She needed to study in quiet. She could also practice her chakra training. With a special genjutsu on her room no one would be wiser. As she closed her eyes, the fatigue of the day quickly claiming her weary body. The only worry on her mind was Kakashi.

"What will he think, when I don't show up?"

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Sorry it so long to write a new chapter for this story. I was going to give you all one of Kakashi's little late lies but nah …too troublesome so if you were wondering…."Life happens!" LOL

Hope you all enjoyed and please review!!


	17. Confused

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Only You Understand My Pain

Kakashi x Hinata

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Chapter 17

Confused

It had been three days since he had seen her last. The first day he shook it off, that she had other obligations. By the second day, he spent half the day pacing back and forth in front of the memorial stone aggravated. Not at her, but himself. Had he really gone too far that day, that she even avoided visiting her teammates memorial? It was stupid and he knew it but he once again walked over to the side their names lay written. Looking for those two deep, blue rose she always brought for them. Maybe he was going crazy, had he not been standing there the whole time. Did he think, she magically left them and disappeared as he stood next to the large stone.

"Where is she? " He groaned exasperated. Dropping to the ground he leaned against the stone.

"Guys I think I really fucked things up this time!" He muttered loudly to his lost teammates. Letting out a long drawn out breath, he dropped his head back against the cold black stone. Staring up at the evening sky, he watched as the stars began to show one by one. Why had he wasted a whole day? Why was it so damn imperative, in his life, to see one lavender moonstone eyed female. His sensual, sweet, smiling bara. He chastised himself once again for thinking those types of intimate thoughts.

"I am so damn hopeless! This is ridiculous, why the hell should I care if she comes to train or not." Standing up he made his way home. Turning the key and stepping in the large Hatake clan house. It hit him how empty it was. How had he never realized before, how quiet and sad the house was. He again cringed inward knowing it had been her and the night she had stayed. It was after she had left that everything seemed dark and hollow. Rubbing a hand over his weary face, he sighed heavily. Something that was starting to becoming a rather bothersome habit. Throwing off his dark green jacket, he dropped to the couch. Leaning back he let his tired eyes slide closed. Thanks to this nagging feeling, he had hardly slept at all the last couple days. His mind replaying that night over an over again.

They had been having a nice time. Why had he acted the way he did? It had been so natural flirting with her. Yes, he had to admit it. He, the normally aloof, laid back copynin had been flirting. With the dark haired beauty. How could he have been so damn stupid and on top of that he had mistakenly thought she was flirting back.

"Come on Kakashi! Hinata is not the type to openly flirt." No, she had always been an extremely shy, timid person. She had not gone unnoticed by him, all those many years ago. A shy young genin, stalking his talented but rather dim witted, blonde haired student. How Naruto could have been so blind, not see the young blossoming rose bud, he would never understand.

"Great now I am talking like Gai. Kami-sama strike me down, if I start spouting youthful and all that other crap, that spandex wearing dork goes on about." He had to laugh a little. Thinking of the Great Green Beast of Konoha.

"Kami how did he came up with that idiotic, damn title? It makes him look even more daft, then when he goes off. Spouting his long, drawn out speeches. I swear that man could make a deaf man want to pull his hair out." He had to admit with a twisted grin. Gai making an ass of himself always cheered him up.

Opening his eye he sat there in the all too quite house. Staring at the ceiling, as if it would some how open up. Revealing prophetic answers, to his problem.

He kept trying to tell himself, he was only upset with her because she was missing her training. It would look badly on him, if his student did not achieve the level she was capable …right? Okay, so she was not officially signed on as his student however, he had made a promise to the sweet, timid girl.

Okay, maybe she wasn't quite as timid as she use to be. Since the battle a few months ago, she seemed to have grown stronger. In more ways then one. She didn't seem to have any problems, speaking her mind at least when he was around her.

Though he was happy, she hadn't lose that adorable blush. Just thinking about that blush. Set his mind nearly spinning with ideas. There were so many things; he would love to do to cause that rosy blush to appear.

'_Great, it was thoughts like those, that caused this whole flirting fiasco.' _He berated himself.

This woman was turning his world upside down. He was just not himself anymore. His normal, lackadaisical manner, had been shot all to hell. By just one small blue haired bara. Realizing this he began to ponder more on why had it felt so natural to change. He had not purposely gone out to tease and flirt with her. It just happened, as naturally to him as breathing.

Yes, he had flirted with other woman. A small few, who had graced his bed over the years. Those few times, he had to practically force out the charm. Basically faking, the whole 'wooing' thing. Just for a night of escape. Yet it never happened. Those who he had bedded. Never filled, the empty whole in his heart. Hell they didn't even make his heart, skip one single beat…not until.

"Hinata…."He gasped slightly, sitting up. Then shook his head. '_No that is just preposterous. I do not have feelings like that, for her.' _A deep frown pulled at his dark silver eyebrows. Becoming firmly etched on his face.  
_'We are nothing more then fellow shinobi…acquaintances… Two jounin with a common bond… the loss of our teammates_. ' Sighing he pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaling deeply. _'Alright maybe I can go as far as to say…. friends.. Nothing more…no nothing more!'_ Running a nervous hand through his thick silver hair.

"Fuck! I so need a drink…something to stop these insane thoughts, right here… right now!" Throwing on his jounin vest. He pushed open the front door. Not bothering to lock it as it slammed closed behind him. The sound echoing off the buildings outer walls.

Passing through the center of the village, he fought for control. He didn't even have the energy to pull out his favorite book. He was consumed, with doubt and anger. Had he ruined the special friendship that had blossomed between Hinata and himself?

Reaching the edge of market street he stopped. Glancing up at the old worn building that stood in front of him. The favored bar of the leaf jounin.

'_More like one of the few bars that put up with shinobi's_.' He thought to himself.

The sounds of laughter and music seeped through the walls. Filling the night air around him. Shrugging his shoulders, he pushed through the swinging doors. Ignoring the looks and greetings from his fellow shinobi. Throwing money on the counter. Then grabbing the bottle of sake and cup passed to him, he made his way through the crowded bar. His eye scrutinized the large room. Looking for a small dark corner to brood in. Picking a table in the back, he slumped into the chair. Shadows filled the corner as he sat back ignoring all around him.

'_Why is it tearing me up not seeing her? What do I care if she doesn't train…visit the memorial…or…' _He paused a unfamiliar ache filled his chest. _'Or ever talk to me again_.' Cringing slightly, he lifted the cup of sake. Downing it in one gulp. The liquid burned as it slid down his throat yet it did nothing for the burning pain in his chest.

"Wow Kakashi …You look like one sad, down trodden…pup." Genma grinned, pulling up a chair. "What's eating at you tonight?" Kakashi didn't even bother looking up from his glass.

"Go away Genma! I am not in the mood."

"Wow you are in a mood. Maybe you just need to get laid." Genma chuckled. Leaning back in the chair lazily. His hand still clutching a bottle of dark amber liquid. Kakashi frowned seeing he was not going to get rid of his friend, anytime soon.

"So I heard a rumor around the village about you…."He let his words trail off. Waiting to see if he would take the bait." Letting out a long sigh Kakashi finally looked up.

"And that would be what exactly?" He asked his voice indifferent. His mind turning over the various rumors of the past.

__

' Kami-sama I swear if this another stupid rumor about Iruka and I being lovers. I will rip that fucking senbon from his mouth and shove it right up his….' He never even finished the thought as his world came to a screeching halt, at Genma's next words.

"Seems you have been spending a lot of time with a certain Hyuga heiress. That something is going on with you too. " He clicked the silver senbon against his teeth narrowing his eyes. "Ah… I think I hit a nerve. So you are sulking in this corner, over shy little Hinata."

"I don't know what the hell, you are going on about. I am just training the girl." His lips clenched tightly behind his dark mask. His hand tightening around the cup in his hand.

"Oh so that's what there calling it now….training!'" A large smirk growing around the senbon between his lips. "Ah maybe tonight… I can get lucky and get some training with Anko's sweet ass."

"Dream on Genma! As if I would waste my precious, hot ass on the likes of you." Anko's voice hissed. Startled, Genma's chair dropped forward. His head jerking back, to see Anko standing with one hand on her hip. Her red lips pursed.

"Now Kakashi here… can have my sweet ass any time, any place. Hell baby, you can have any other part of me you fancy." Her voice seductive, the words drowning in erotic innuendos. Bending over the table ever so slowly. Her arm reaching out to grab the bottle of sake. Downing at least a quarter of the fiery liquid before setting the bottle back down. Wiping the corner of her lip teasingly, she stayed for a few minutes. Hovering over the table. Making sure, he caught a clear shot of her cleavage.

Kakashi bit back the urge to roll his eyes. He was already tired and disgusted with Anko's drunken performance for one night.

"Sorry Anko you are barking up the wrong tree tonight. Kakashi has his eyes set on Konoha's one and only sweet little Hyuga heiress.

Kakashi once again bit back his primal urges. This time his fingers itched to reach over and strangle Genma to death.

"Oh please as if… where the hell did you get that stupid idea from?"

"Hey baby… just telling you what's been floating around the village. Not my fault you've been gone on mission and missed out on the rumor mill."

Narrowing her eyes she looked back and forth between the two men. Her eyes finally falling on Kakashi's indifferent eyes.

"You have got to be kidding me right? That shy, weak, little thing…the one who got her team killed. Oh please as if." She frowned, as she watched Kakashi's blue eye turn icy cold as he slammed the cup down on the table.

"Shut the fuck up Anko! You don't know a damn thing about her!"

" Well…I think I'll leave before theirs bloodshed." Genma tilted his head goodbye. Making a speedy retreat from the heated rage boiling in the air around his friend.

"Oh sorry hot stuff… I forgot you have issues with team mates after Sasuke's betrayal." Anko gushed, sickly sweet. Her body inching closer to him.

Kakashi nearly let out a annoyed growl. Was Anko that damn clueless. Granted Sasuke's betrayal burned him but nothing had torn him apart, like Obito and Rin's deaths. Was Hinata the only person on earth who understood his pain. Thinking about her made that funny pain pull in his chest, once again.

He froze when he felt Anko slide her arms around his neck. Leaning in to press her breasts against his chest. Before she could sit down on his lap. He shot out of the chair causing her to stagger forward. Her arms still clinging to his shoulders.

"Oh come on Kakashi. Quite playing hard to get baby. It's not like you and I have never fooled around before, after a long mission." She nearly purred. His stomach turned with the memory of too much alcohol or was it not enough alcohol and too much Anko. Either way it was not a pleasant memory.

"Anko just leave me the hell alone! I'm not interested! "His voice turning hard. "Go find Genma, he seems to have a thing for you these days." Anko glared icily, colder than any snake she could summon. Her fingers digging into his shoulders like a vice.

"What the hell, is so great about that damn Hyuga. She nothing but a spoiled little heiress." She pushed closer as he stepped back, the wall hitting his back. She looked up at him predatorily. As if he was her next meal. Her body pushed closer. The tip of her tongue coming out, to wet her lips seductively .

"Hinata could never excite you like I can tiger. Forget the little bitch." Anger boiled up inside him. Every muscle in his body tightened with anger. Pulling her arms off of him, he held both wrists tightly. A dangerous glint flashed in his eye. His fingers tighten, making her wince in pain.

"If I ever hear you talk about her, like that again. You won't even live long enough to regret it! Do you hear me Anko!" Icy disdain, filling each word.

"Alright I get it …geesh Kakashi… I was just playing around. If I didn't know you better. I would think you had fallen in love with her." Dropping her wrists he pushed past her.

Pushing his way through the crowded room he stormed through the door and into the cold night air. His mind was a clutter of aggravating thoughts.

'The gall of that …she snake. Why did I think going out for a drink would fix everything.' He fumed inwardly. "In love with Hinata…ha." He scoffed halfheartedly.

In no mood, to go home to empty silence. He strolled through the village. Letting his feet take him where ever blindly. What alcohol left in his system was definitely not nearly enough to numb the odd sensation that burned in his chest. Nor did it stop the incessant thoughts, of the sweet blushing Bara.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Now before you all begin to light candles and flame me. I have nothing against Anko. I actually like her. I just needed a tart for this chapter and well….Anko worked the best.

Sorry had to be done. For the greater good of the story. Trust me she didn't suffer but faced the ordeal with a big smile. LOL

Hope you all enjoyed. Please make my day and review!!


	18. A Caged Bird

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Only You Understand My Pain

Kakashi x Hinata

Chapter 18

A Caged Bird

Before he knew it, he found himself standing frozen. In the dead of night. Right in front of the last place he should have been. Hinata's home.

The Hyuga clan's large manor stretched on forever. The three story, main house was enormous in its own right. It stood out like a cold monument facing the road. Smaller two to one story buildings, covered the rest of the large acres of land. A wall that could rival, the length of the Great Wall of China, surround the massive compound. Kakashi sighed heavily, when he realized where he had ended up. What power did this small woman have on him, to devour his thoughts night and day? A woman who filled the air around her with such grace, beauty, and unending strength.

Since the night he had found her, standing over their dead bodies. Screaming , sobbing with heart wrenching agony. Surviving, against unbelievable odds. She stood alive, left behind by the two most important people in her life. That night was when he had lost control, over his empty heart. No longer the same aloof, carefree, constantly late, Hatake Kakashi. Orange cover, Ichi Ichi reading perv, that never let emotions rule him. Just how the hell did this happen? Could such a small slip of a woman do all this to him? No other woman, since the loss of his team, made him feel so alive… almost complete. Hell, he wasn't even sure, if those words could fully describe, this change growing inside.

Jumping up, into a large red maple tree that sat, on the other side of the road. He sat on the thick branch, his back against the trunk. His deep blue eye staring, at the near, palace like home. The walls and buildings coated, in a bland, white color. He had never noticed, before how the entire compound gave off an eerie cold sensation. Was it the same, inside those walls? A house filled, with cold indifferent people. With only one rare rose inside. Was she suffocating on that stale air inside?

His one eye shot up to the third floor window. The branches of the tall sakura tree almost blocking, her window. He frowned, as his senses caught the unusual shift of air around the large glass window. Sliding his hitai-ate up. The Sharingan always active. He let the three tome quickly swirl, as he studied the room.

"Don't even waste your time Hatake. It's a special genjutsu Kurenai taught her years ago. It keeps wandering eyes from seeing inside her room. Even a Uchiha couldn't break through it." Both eyes, one red, the other blue, glanced down. Kakashi took in Neji's unemotional face leaning against the tree. Dropping down from the tree. He faced the long haired man, studying him closely. So many questions filled his mind as he weighed each one. Finally, he asked the question that had been burning in his chest for three days.

"What has she been doing the last three days?" He tried to hold all emotion from the question but sucked in a breath at Neji's reply.

"Her father ordered her locked in her room for a week. She is not to speak to anyone. Nor is she to be spoken too. No food only water…" He let his words trail off.

Kakashi felt as if his legs, had been knocked, right out from under him. All the answers he had prepared himself for, this was never one of them.

"What…!" He shook his head. "No…why?" Tilting his head Neji studied him with wide, pale eyes.

"The what and why don't really matter does it? What matters, is what are you going to do about it…Hatake?" Kakashi felt his fists clench as the realization seeped in. That his bara, was being starved. Locked in a room against her will.

" Bastard!" He hissed under his breath. His jaw clenched tight. Neji didn't answer, just pushed away from the tree.

"So I take it by your reaction… you will do something about…this situation. " He paused looking up at the window. "I'm glad we agree… Hatake. I regret, I am unable to do something myself… due to clan laws." He began to walk off, not bothering to turn around.

"Neji… wait!" Kakashi called out. The darkness growing around them. As the clouds slipped, across the moon. He watched as pale eyes turned back.

"What now… Hatake? Do you not have something to do…" His words trailing off. The meaning behind them, unmistakable.

"Why the hell are you… concerned about Hinata's well fair? Last time I checked Neji…you hated her and all of the main branch. I even had to step in and stop you from killing her during the chuunin exams eight years ago." His eyes narrowed as he watched the Hyuga sigh. His eye brow arching up in surprise as those pale eyes flickered with a almost sad, haunting look.

"I was a foolish child back then Hatake. Only selfishly seeing… my own unhappiness." His eyes closed for a second, as he inhaled deeply. "I was so wrong about a lot of things. I owe her." With that he turned away. Kakashi could hear his whispered words as he walked off. "Hinata is the true caged bird, in this damned clan." Those words drew a fire within him. Rage flowed off him in waves. As he closed his eyes, his breath heavy, as he pictured her locked in that damn room.

" How could they do this to such a rare beautiful rose?" Pulling down his leaf hitai-ate, he took one last look up at her room.

"Don't worry Mai Bara I will protect you." With that he took off towards the Hokage tower.

There was no way Tsunade would allow the Hyuga clan to destroy her new secret medical student.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Hinata sat on the cold floor, her knees tucked under her daintily. Scrolls of all sizes, lay strewn around the tatami covered floor. Rubbing a weary hand over her tired, dark, rimmed eyes. She let out a long, heavy sigh. It had been three days locked in her room. The four pale bleach white walls seemed to press in on her. She felt like she was suffocating. She had not been able to go to the monument and talk to Shino and Kiba. Or even Obito and Rin. Saying their names, brought the person who weighed, the heaviest in her mind to light.

"Kakashi…" She whispered, her heart once again feeling heavy. "He must hate me, thinking I just up and quite training."

A small smile, filled her pink lips as she thought of the last time they were together. A blush growing brightly, on her pale, sunken cheeks. "I can not believe I was flirting with him. I probably looked like a childish fool to him. Then again am I wrong? Was he not flirting back? " She could feel the heat fill her cheeks, flaming them at the thought of him.

"No, I must be extremely tired, to even think that… Kakashi Hatake would ever be interested in me." Letting another weary sigh leave her lips. She once again turned, tired eyes to the numerous medical scrolls sitting around her. Her hands swiftly practicing the different signs. Every so often, she let the blue chakra flow, from her fingertips.

After a several hours she felt her eyes blur once again. She knew she should rest but her heart denied her that comfort. Reaching over she picked up the silver framed photo. Turning it over she stared down at the three smiling faces. She fought back a tear, as her finger slowly brushed across the faces of Kiba and Shino. Setting the frame down gently. Her hand brushing over it lovingly.

Turning back to the many scrolls, their techniques, she had not yet mastered. She would not waste her hours locked in this eternal hell brought on by her father. She would learn how to master her special genkai. Learn everything she needed. To become a valued medical ninja.

Never again, would she let someone she love die. When her seven days were over, locked in her prison of a bedroom. She would make Kakashi proud of what she had learned. Once again she cringed inwardly. Worry filling her chest at what he was thinking, of her unplanned absence.

"Don't lose faith in me Kakashi…please." She whispered softly, into the cold, white room. In her heart she no longer cared, if she made her father or the clan proud. Kakashi was the only person she cared to prove herself too.

"I will make you proud Kakashi…I promise…."

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

A special thanks to Red Moon Ninja for helping me with my writers block !

Hope you all enjoyed and please review!!


	19. No more Cages…Little Bird

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Only You Understand My Pain

Kakashi x Hinata

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Chapter 19

No more Cages…Little Bird

Hinata mind still swirled, with shock. Never would she have expected, the change of events that happened, in the early morning hours. She knew her father was seething, with anger. Yet, even the great head of the Hyuga clan could not argue with the Hokage's orders. As she dressed to leave, she smiled at the memory of the morning.

__

When the Hyuga branch guard, who had been assigned to stand guard outside her room. Informed her that her father sent for her. She had expected, another tongue lashing. Followed by a beating. It was something she knew all to well, over the last twenty-one years.

Yet, when she reached the dark wood paneled office door, she froze. Startled to hear the voice of a very stern. If not slightly, hostile Hokage. Her mind pleading, to Kami-sama . That the Hokage was not telling her father, that she was personally training her to be a medic.

Her pale lavender eyes grew larger, at the words she was overhearing as she stood, outside the door.

"I will do what ever I deem necessary… with that insolent child. This is a clan issue not the leaf's! You have no say here Tsunade-sama!" His voice sharp, dripping with disdain.

"I don't give a damn, what you and your clan counsel have to say! Hinata Hyuga…is under contract with this village, as a jounin. You can not stop her training or missions!"

"Mission…bah… the damn girl doesn't even have a team. She made sure of that… letting them die! "He let out a cold laugh. "She is a failure as a ninja." Hinata swore she could feel the anger, flowing from the Hokage. Stifling the air in the room. Seeping out the door and the hall.

"Why you pompous bastard! Your daughter defeated an Akatsuki …and lived. Even half my ANBU could not say that. She is a damn fine ninja!" Her voice raising an octave, with each word. Till she was literally, screaming into the older man's face. He glared with contempt at her. Not once flitching at her loud out burst.

"Hinata, would you please come in here for a moment." Tsunade's voice coming out soft and serene. Compared to a moment earlier.

Hinata's pale lavender eyes widened, in surprise. The woman knew she was standing behind the door the whole time. Pushing the door open, with a trembling hand. She walked in, giving the Sannin a respectful bow.

"Yes…Lady Tsunade."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed ,when she took in Hinata's tired face and sunken cheeks. Her hand reached out and patted the blue haired woman's shoulder tenderly. Hinata looked up, to see the soft motherly smile on the Hokage's face.

"Hinata, I am assigning you to Kakashi Hatake's team." Hinata didn't miss the knowing wink the Hokage sent her.

"Hai…Hokage-sama."

__

She smiled gratefully. Tsunade was keeping their secret safe. If her father ever found out about her medical training now. Everything would be ruined.

"Hiashi don't forget what I said!" Her voice going hard as she turned on the clan head. "You will not like what I do… if you cross me. " Turning, she walked to the door.

"Oh Hinata, you need to report in with Kakashi Hatake every day." Hinata swore she heard a gleam of something in the Hokage's voice.

"Hai…Hokage-sama."

Letting the mornings memories fade. She pulled on, her pale lavender jacket. Her fingers slowly tracing the silver hemming. She was finally free of her confinement. How she missed visiting the memorial. It had been four days, since she had been able to talk to them. Four long days, since she had spoken to him.

Her pink lips curling up, into a soft smile. She prayed he would be there. Her heart racing at just the thought of seeing him. Hearing that silky, smooth, voice of his. In a strange way, she wanted to see him more then her teammates memorial stone.

"What is wrong with me? I am acting like a damn schoolgirl… with a crush. " She frowned then shrugged.

Taking the stairs by two. She went through the clan kitchen. Her eyes catching a left over rice ball, sitting on a plate. Her stomach growled, loudly. Showing her overwhelming hunger.

She quickly grabbed it off the counter and stuffed it in her mouth. Never had a stale rice ball ever tasted so good. It had been two days, since she had eaten anything. She had been lucky, finding an unopened box of strawberry Pocky in her room. It was the only thing, she was able to find but it helped to keep her from passing out from lack of food.

For a split second, she thought of scrounging in the fridge for any other leftovers. However the need to escape from the smothering and overwhelming frigid clan home was stronger. Shoving open the back door. Hinata ran down the path and out to the streets of Konoha. The whole time a mantra ran through her mind.

'_Please let him be there…please be there._'

Passing through the market square her breath heavy, she slowed her pace. Ignoring the stares, of the people milling around the many stores. Leaving the road, she followed the small stone path that led to the memorial stone. With soft steps she reached the clearing. Pale lavender eyes quickly, sweeping the area around the black stone.

'_He's not here_.' Her heart clenched tightly. With a soft sigh, she walked to the other side of the stone. Her feet stopping, eyes wide as she saw the sight in front of her. A blanket lay on top of the fresh cut grass. A woven picnic basket sitting on it.

'_What on earth?_' She gaped. _'Who left this….?' _A small 'meep' left her lips, when a figure jumped from the tree above.

"Finally…I have been waiting for you… forever it seems." Kakashi smirked standing in front of her. His smile quickly faded as he took a closer look at her. The circles under her eyes had grown, heavier since he had seen her last. She looked so pale and once again too thin.

Shaking his head he cursed under his breath.

"Hinata…" His voice trailed off as he pulled her close. "I'm so sorry. I should have come sooner…realized something was wrong! I should have broken Tsunade's damn door down last night instead of waiting till morning to tell her!"

"Y…you told her?" Hinata blushed, pulling back. Her soft pale eyes looking up searching his crystal blue one.

"Yes…and from the condition you are in…I should have…" She cut his words off. A delicate finger touching his lips.

"Thank you Kakashi." She smiled softly. It was then her stomach deciding to make itself heard. She blushed deeper with embarrassment.

"Ahh sorry… come sit down. Tsunade told me that your father…"He paused his teeth clenched. " Had ordered you to be given only water. " Taking a deep breath he tried to calm his anger. The thought of what that excuse for a father had done was eating him alive.

"I knew you would be hungry so I thought I would surprise you with a picnic lunch…uh…" He suddenly felt nervous. "We can't have you …uh starving when your… training."

Taking a pair of chopsticks. Hinata dug into the fresh maki- sushi. She had never tasted anything so divine. She was famished and couldn't eat it fast enough. She heard him chuckle and her eyes darted up. A piece of rice stuck on the corner of her lips.

"Slow down before you choke. "He grinned. Her breath caught as his hand reached over. One finger sliding across her lips, removing the bit of rice. Her lips tingled from his warm touch.

She suddenly felt her body become overly hot. Unzipping her coat she pulled it off. Laying it next to her.

"Fucking hell!" He growled loudly. As his eye, took in the bruises on her arms. The distinguishing pattern of finger prints. The deep purple bruising, bright against her pale skin. Her eyes shot up like a deer in headlight. When he took her arm gentle. "Did your father do this to you?"

Letting out a slow breath, her head nodded up and down slowly. She watched, as he tensed, anger filling his normally soft crystalline blue eye.

"Does Tsunade-sama know about this?"

"No…" She replied softly. " Kakashi…please just let it go. Tsunade already took a risk going up against m…my father. I just want to forget, all about the last four days and focus on training. " Her eyes pleaded.

"Fine…but Hinata…"He paused closing his eyes, reaching inward for calm . Taking a long, ragged, breath he looked at her. "I will not let him hurt you again bara."

"Thank you Kakashi. "Her breath poured out in a sigh of relief. Her shoulders relaxing.

She knew time was running out. If she didn't improve her control and prove herself to the council. She let her thought end. She didn't have the time or energy to let the worry fill her.

"So… I was curious…" She paused, fidgeting slightly. "Was it your idea or Lady Tsunade's for me to be placed on your team?"

"Oh…ah… mine…I figured it would make it easier for us to train; if your father thought you were with a team."

"Pretty smart… Hatake." She teased, reaching over and stealing a rice ball from his hand.

"Hey..." He faked annoyance, causing her to giggle behind her hand.

"So you up to training tomorrow? " He eyed her closely. His head tilting slightly when he saw her grin mischievously.

"Yep, but first I want to show you something." Her smile growing larger. She scooted closer to him. His eyebrow quirked upward, as he watched her. Leaning in, she held up her hand, palm facing up. He watched in surprise as the palm of her hand lit up with a bright, glowing, blue light.

"I wasn't just sitting around doing nothing, the last four days. "She smirked.

"So I see." He replied, his eye watching her hold the glow. "How long can you hold it for now?"

"The longest was twenty minutes." He nodded his head with approval.

"So what else have you been up to; behind that special genjutsu you placed on your room?"

"Oh… ah…you saw that?" He nodded pointing to his covered eye.

"I couldn't break it. Just picked up the odd shift in the air, around your window."

She smiled proudly that he had been unable to break the genjutsu.

"Well between practicing the strengthen exercises you gave me. I managed to finish, all the scrolls Lady Tsunade assigned to me."

"Wait… you finished all of them….well damn…bara" His voice filled with astonishment. "That took Sakura half a year to achieve."

"R…really." She asked meekly. Blushing as she once again hear his endearment. It made her stomach flutter oddly.

"Wow…I think you will be a stronger medic then her." He watched as her eyes lit up and he felt that odd sensation, fill his chest once again. "Just don't let her know I said that. " His head dropping back as he laughed.

"Hinata felt like she was floating on cloud nine. No one, ever gave her this kind of praise but Shino and Kiba. Yet coming from Kakashi it felt even better. She felt the tension of the last week fade as she watched him laugh.

'_Yah cloud nine…' _She thought as she found herself laughing with him.

O.o.o.o.o.o..O.o.o.o.o.O

Japanese terms

Kami-sama…God

Bara…rose

Maki-zushi - is rolled sushi

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A/N

Okay I kinda went with the idea that being a jounin would be similar as being in the military. That they would be under a contract for services. Like the military with there four year tours of duty. I mean if not they could just up and leave whenever. So don't flame… writers liberty guys!

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Anywho thanks for reading and please make my summer day and review.


	20. Hokage, Naruto, and Panic Attacks, Oh My

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Only You Understand My Pain

Kakashi x Hinata

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Chapter 20

Hokage, Naruto, and Panic Attacks, Oh My

"Good morning… Hinata!" Her head swung around, as she heard his smooth voice, call her name. It always sounded like smooth silk to her ears. Her eyes quickly found him, leaning in his typical, lazy pose. Legs crossed at the ankle, favorite orange book in hand. His back pressed, against the large maple tree, that sat across from the Hyuga mansion.

'_Kami what is wrong with me?' _She thought inwardly. How was it, that every time she saw him, her heart raced out of control? It was never, like when she was young, crushing on Naruto. With him she felt awkward, insignificant and overly shy. To the point of passing out nearly every time he spoke to her. Not, a healthy thing to do, that was sure. She flinched inwardly thinking about her awkward, childish crush. She had been so silly back then. As she matured, came the realization that though she praised Naruto's confidence and commitment, the boy was a complete, dunder head. It only took a few missions with him to see he was lacking certain mental skills. She began to wonder, if all that ramen had either caused him, to suffer severe vitamin loss. Which in turn weakened his brain cells and thought process. Or Sakura had just hit him, one too many times on the head.

Yet, when she was with Kakashi she felt at ease and safe. Even though her heart did race uncontrollable, and her stomach felt like Shino's rare butterflies had taken to fluttering inside. She felt, a small pang thinking of her friend. Those dark emerald eyes, hidden stoical behind dark sunglasses. It still stung every time she thought of them. Knowing she would never hear their voices or see their smiling faces ever again. No matter how you said it, deceased… departed…faded away….vanishing…passed on…passed away.., It all meant one thing to her. She would never see them for all of eternity. She fought back the warm tears that began to sting behind her eyes. Taking a deep breath she crossed the road.

"Morning Kakashi!" Forcing a smile to her face as she walked up to him. Tilting his head, he studied her face for a moment.

"Hinata what's wrong?" He could see, how her face had grown suddenly sad. As she had moved across the road.

"Nothing is w…wrong…I am …just fine." He clearly, saw through, her stammering lie. Tilting her chin upward, he made her look him in the eye. They stood, silently for a moment as he studied her. He realized quickly what had brought on the sudden sadness. The corners crinkling up, as he gave her a reassuring smile. She had quickly, learned to see his expressions even through the dark mask. She could see the warmth and caring, in that one crystal blue eye.

"Memories will hurt sometimes, however they can also, be a wonderful gift to hold onto. They loved you Mai Bara… always remember that. I know with certainty they want you to be happy with their memories not sad. So try and cherish them." Brushing a stray strand, of silky hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. His hand, lingering for a few seconds longer then necessary. Savoring, the softness of her skin and the blush that dotted her cheekbones.

"Thank you Kakashi." Her voice cracking slightly, as one warm tear slipped out, trailing down her pale cheek. For a second, he felt as if his heart was being ripped in half. Just that one, single tear tore at him more than any kunai or shuriken could ever. Leaving him overwhelmed, with the urge to wrap her safely, in his arms. Protecting her from all the horrors and pains of the world. Brushing the tear away with his thumb he tried to control his emotions.

"Now did you listen to me and get some sleep last night?" His voice slipping into an over protective sensei mode.

"Hai and before you say anything more… yes, I ate." She smirked, as he cocked his eye brow at her boldness.

"Good… I hate seeing those pretty eyes of yours looking like Gaara's." He watched, as a small blush crossed her cheeks.

Kami-sama he was once again flirting with her, just what the hell was wrong with him. Yet, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop. It was becoming to natural and damn, if he didn't enjoy ever second of that innocent, shy blush. She was just so adorable and sexy all wrapped, in a neat little package named Hinata.

"Before we train, Tsunade needs to see us." Stuffing the book in his back pocket. He pushed, away from the tree, stuffing his hands in his pocket. Watching her silently, as they made their way towards the Hokage tower.

"So I was thinking…" His voice trailing off. Praying his voice wasn't betraying, this unusual nervousness that was creeping inside of him.

"What ?"She asked her eyes staring at the road ahead.

"Maybe after training we could…you know… grab some dinner and…" He trailed off. Not understanding why, this was suddenly so awkward and hard. It's not like he was asking her out on a date. No this was not a date.

__

'Definetly not a date!' His mind flared inwardly. He watched her face closely, nervously.

"I would love to eat again by the memorial…"She blushed slightly. Her eyes still unable, to look over at him. "That is what you were going to ask…right?"

"Ah… yah." Scratching the back of his head, nervously. He watched, as a smile curled onto her pink lips. The sensation of falling and tumbling, hit his stomach. That smile was so intoxicating, soft, sweet and so damn alluring.

He had never been so grateful to see the Hokage tower as he was now. These lines of thought, were just too troubling. He nearly groaned, out loud realizing he was starting to sound, like the lazy Nara.

"You okay …" Her soft voice calling to him, as she stood in the doorway waiting. Once again, his thoughts had let him trail off. Making him look like a bumbling fool staring off into space.

"Oh… yah fine…just got lost on the…"His words cut off, by a loud keening screech; that could send most grown men into tears.

"Kakashi…. I really don't care where you got lost!…Just get your lazy, ichi reading ass… in here now!"

Tsunade's loud and over bearing voice, trickled down the stairs before filling the morning air. Cringing slightly, he swore under his breath. That woman was so damn loud. Half of Konoha and maybe parts of Suna probably heard her. His eyes shot to the petite beauty next to him, when he heard, the sound of soft laughter. Hinata stood in the doorway. Her small hand covering her mouth, her eyes twinkling with amusement. That curvaceous body of hers shaking, slightly as she laughed. It was then he realized, he had never heard laughter so gentle. Like the soft sound, of rain falling against glass.

"We better hurry Kakashi. You don't want her throwing you out of the window. Like she did to poor Jiraiya, a few weeks ago." She laughed again, as she watched his eye close, cringing at the thought.

"That woman is just down right evil to the male species." He whispered softly, into her ear. The sensation, of his warm, heated breath against her cool skin sending a chill down her back. Goosebumps flickering over her skin.

Her eyes widened, as he grabbed her hand. Pulling her up, the stairs behind him. Opening the door to the office, he let her hand go. She immediately, missed the warmth of his hand.

"Hinata, you look much better then you did the other morning. I am assuming you have had no further trouble with your father."

"No Lady Tsunade."

"Good…good." Her eye leaving the blunette, to stare at the silver haired jounin. Who had his head once again buried ,behind his book.

"Do you think for once Kakashi …you could put that damn book down and listen to me." Her voice holding a hard edge.

"I am listening just fine, Hokage-sama." He swore, he could see her eye twitch. Smiling, he leaned against the wall by the window. It was always a good thing to have an easy escape planned when dealing with Tsunade. He had learned years earlier.

"Oh I just quite… you're hopeless Hatake…" She blew out a long drawn out breath.

"The reason… I called for you both was to go over Hinata's training. Now that your father thinks you are with team seven, full time. We should have no problems with your training." She eyed Hinata curiously.

"I have to say Hinata, I am astonished over how fast you are learning. Never in all my years, have I seen a student learn not only this quickly but it seems to just flow naturally from you. Hinata my dear…you were made to be a medic." She watched the young woman blush. Her pale eyes looking over to Kakashi. Who smiled over the top of his book. Giving the heiress a quick knowing wink.

Tsunade eye brow, rose at the little display. Clearing her throat, she watched Hinata blush even deeper.

"Hinata with your two genkai's and your level of learning. I would not be surprised if you surpass me one day." She watched, as astonishment filled the young woman's face. Slowly the beginning of a smile pulled at the corner of Hinata's lips.

"Thank you Lady Hokage… but I don't think I will ever be as great of a medic as you." Tsunade smiled motherly, waving her hand.

"Nonsense Hinata…you truly have a natural gift for healing. You have, discovered more herbal remedies then any shinobi I have ever known."

"Now, what I want is to advance your genkai Aoi kaen. I want you to learn how to perform shosen jutsu with it instead of using regular chakra. I know you already know the hand signs, like the back of your hand. However I want you to improve your chakra blade and the length of time you can hold it. That is where Hatake comes in. I think he can help you with that alone with the rest of your training." She paused letting her words sink in for a moment.

"Besides working with Hatake you will be studying the next set of medical text scrolls. I will have you studying two to three times a week with me, at the hospital. Is that agreeable to you ?"

"Yes Tsunade-sama…thank you." Hinata bowed respectfully, a smile still gracing her lips.

Turning to Kakashi she eyed him warily. He was acting rather odd and she was starting to get a inkling to why. She couldn't help the devilish smile that pulled on her red lips. The look had him seriously thinking now was the time to jump. With a boost of chakra he could be out of the village before her pet ANBU found him. Then his eye fell on Hinata. Damn he couldn't just leave her like a sheep at the proverbial slaughter.

So he braced himself for what ever torture his Hokage had prepared, only to be caught by surprise with her next words.

"Kakashi… I am assigning you to be Hinata's instructor full time. I want you to continue to help her with chakra control when she is not working at the hospital. So no slacking off… or should I use your words. 'Getting lost on the road of life.'" Her fingers making air quotations, her voice heavy with sarcasm. "Understood!" Her hawk like eyes narrowing as she stared him down.

"Hai Tsunade -sama." He said giving her a smirk. "I will not get lost… on the road of life." His voice sarcastic before dropping back down behind his favorite orange book.

"Now as for Hinata being on team seven. I will have…"

"Oi Kakashi… Obaa-chan… so Hinata is going to be on team seven now? "Naruto's overly loud, and excited voice, rang out of nowhere. Hinata gasped slightly, her pale eyes searching the room. She watched, as Kakashi tensed before leaning out the window. His arm pulling back, a familiar black and orange sleeved jacket.

"Kami-sama dammit… Naruto!" Tsunade hissed, her head dropping into her hand. " Baka!" She whispered under her breath.

"Naruto haven't you learned, after all these years… Not to listen, to other people's conversations. " Hinata was surprised, how edged Kakashi's voice was. Before he hauled, Naruto into the room. His fist, still holding the jacket tightly.

"Oi!… Kakashi… a little rough don't you think?" Pulling out of, the older jounin's grip. Brushing his jacket off. As if he could remove, the wrinkles that already covered the brightly, orange jumpsuit.

"Damn brat, your twenty one years old… can you not act your age? ! I am so damn sick and tired of you fucking eavesdropping, all the time!" Tsunade cursed, standing up and reaching over the desk. One hand grasping onto the blonde's jacket firmly. Her eyes narrowing dangerously. Hinata could swear all the blood, left Naruto's face. As his blue eyes widened in fear.

"I am going to say this once… brat. You speak a word of what you just heard, to anyone and I will strip you of jounin and send you back to the academy. Or better yet. "Her voice dripping venom. "I will make it so you can never father any children…Ever!" Her fist slamming against the wood desk. Sending papers scattering to the floor below.

"Geesh…what has everyone's panties in a bunch…so Hinata is on Team Seven and you don't want her daddy to know…. big deal. You act like your planning a secret invasion or something." He remarked clueless as always. Even Hinata felt the urge to roll her eyes with annoyance.

It did not get past Tsunade that Kakashi was losing his normal, calm demeanor. Nor the fact he seemed to be standing protectively between the shy kunoichi and Naruto. Her piercing blue eyes, watched the slight almost hidden movements of the silver haired jounin. She had to hold in a knowing smirk, that was growing inside.

"This is serious Naruto! Not one word to anyone!" Kakashi's normally, lazy voice turning harsh. Gritting his teeth he held himself back from throttling the boy, by the throat.

His eye darting up to Hinata's. He could see the worry and fear filling those soft doe like eyes. Moving closer he leaned over and whispered into her ear. She felt heat rise to her cheeks at the sensation of his warm breath caressing her ear.

"Don't worry he will keep your secret." His hand dropping, to her shoulder reassuringly.

His mind finishing his sentence. '_Or I will strangle him myself_.'

He knew his former student was hyper and was constantly doing stupid stunts. Acting more like a teenager then the adult he now was. He just could not allow the idiot to endanger Hinata by alerting her clan to her activities. Dropping, his hand from her curved shoulder. He noticed Hinata's flushed face.

'_What the hell does she see in him? And just why the fuck is he so stupid not to notice her?_' Hinata was a rose so soft and beautiful. Her internal beauty filled the air around her.

'_How could you not notice her_?' He felt his muscles tense in his shoulders. Shoving his hands into his pockets he scowled behind the dark blue mask. His fists clenching and unclenching as his blood seemed to grow, to a hot simmer.

He kept telling himself. He didn't care one way or another, if she like the blonde spaz or not. For some reason that didn't seem to help calm the inner turmoil, flickering through his body.

Maybe the stress, of being a shinobi had finally rendered his mind unstable. For as long, as he could remember. He had never felt so unsure. A mixture of emotions, constantly invading his life. All revolving around one blue, haired bara.

"Naruto you have five second to be out of my sight before I give you nothing but the nastiest 'D' rank mission for the next six months."

As if a tornado had blown through he was out the window and gone.

"Damn that boy!' Tsunade hissed her hands going to rub her aching temples. Though deep down she loved the boy like he was her very own little brother .

"Now as I was saying before Naruto showed up…."Her words once again halted as a knock on the door caused all heads to turn.

"Oh Hell!…What in Kami's name is it this time…?" She snapped.

"Sorry… My Lady but you are needed in the hospital. Apparently Konohamaru had one of his pranks back fire." She said flatly.

"I swear it is like having a miniature version of Naruto running around. "She said out loud, to no one in particular. "Shizune please remind me. Why the hell I took this job?!" She grumbled, throwing her arms in the air in defeat.

"Oh…you know you love it." Shizune smirked.

"Yah… yah. I live in the land of denial and it is no damn river…." She deadpanned her words trailing off. Pushing her chair back, she stood and began to follow Shizune out of the room. Turning back her eyes curiously watching the two.

" I will have, Yamamoto fill in for you Hatake temporarily. Should any missions arise. I can not emphases any more… just how vitally important it is, for you to assist Hinata in strengthening her new genkai." Letting out a loud sigh.

"Those damned prehistoric, Hyuga elders, know they are out of my reach. I have very little power to interfere, in clan issues." She looked over to the young heiress, her face growing grim. " I fear time is short and growing shorter by the minute. It will not be long before those old fossils catch on and start getting wild ideas of curse sealing you… Hinata." She sighed. Her hand closing the door behind her. Leaving the two jounin standing, silently in the small room.

Hinata felt overpowering fear, slice through her. Time was running out and she could do little to avoid her father's ultimate plan. Suddenly the room felt stifling and that overwhelming feeling grew slowly inside her. The doubts and fears exploding in her mind. She could feel all those out of control thoughts, smothering her, like a dark shadow. Slowly curling up her legs, wrapping tightly around her chest. Squeezing the air from her lungs. Strangling her slender throat. She gasped for breath, only achieving a shallow gasp. Her small heart racing uncontrollable. It was so loud, she was sure it echoed off the walls that continued to close in closer and closer. Sweat beading on her forehead as she continued to try and inhale deeply. Instead only gasping frantically for air. Black spots filling her vision

Kakashi's head jerked up as he heard the sound of frantic breathing. His eye widening, seeing Hinata face pale as a ghost. Her body beginning to sway. Within half a second he had her in his arms. Kneeling down on the floor he cradled her head against his warm chest.

"Hinata calm down…just breath." Her body trembled against him. "Listen to me Hinata…you need to calm down you're hyperventilating. Her eyelids began to droop slightly, over unfocused eyes. When her small mouth continued making gasping sounds, worry filled his soul. Taking her face between his large hands, he once again tried to gain her attention.

"Hinata listen to my voice! You need to breath through your nose." He hated to do this but he had little choice, she would lose consciousness soon, otherwise. Cradling her head in one hand he placed the other over her mouth. For a second her eyes widened with fear.

"Breathe through your nose Hinata!" He sighed as her eyes caught his, focusing slightly on his words.

"Come on small inhalations….that's a girl….just breathe."

He could feel her trembling regress as she continued to breathe through her nose. After her breathing regulated he let his hand drop from her lips. His own words, slightly strained from worry. As he once again cradled her head against his warm chest. He was not surprised when he felt her warm tears.

"You're okay…I got you." His arms automatically going around her petite body, holding her close. "It will be alright Mai Bara…I promise."

He knew he should not be enjoying this. Yet, he loved the feel, of her wrapped protectively in his arms.  
If he could, truly keep her safe was another thing. He, just like the Hokage, had no power against the damn Hyuga clan. He couldn't help his bodies natural response, to hold her tighter, when he thought of them bringing her harm.

"S..sorry…K…Kakashi." Her voice low, the stutter overwhelmingly heavy. He wished she realized she never need feel nervous around him. He liked her for being her. Nothing else mattered.

"I…I made a…r…real…f…fool of m..myself." Wiping her eyes as she pulled away. Kami, how quickly he missed her warmth. His arms suddenly felt so very empty and it frightened him in a way he could just not quite wrap his mind around, at the moment.

"No you did not! " His hand brushing a strand of wet, tear stained hair, away from her face. "You are under way too much pressure… Mai Bara." Cringing slightly, as he realized he let his pet name for her out, once again. Nervously standing up, his hand reaching down to help her to her feet.

"Listen… don't worry! I promise you, we will have you wielding your Aoi Kaen, as if it was as natural as breathing."

"T…Thank you Kakashi." She leaned up, brushing a soft kiss onto his clothed cheek. He was grateful it covered the blush he felt come to his cheeks: however at the same time he wished he could have felt those silky pink lips against his bare skin.

'_Kami what is wrong with me you would think I was in love with the girl.'_ He felt his body freeze as soon as the thought past his mind. He quickly shrugged it off. _'There is no way I am just not thinking straight! I just got wrapped up in her little panic attack. Yah that's it… hee hee in love …How stupid can I be to think that.' _His eye wandered away from her. Staring out the window lost in thought, as he continued to blindly ignore his own heart.

"Kakashi?" She looked up at him. She frowned slightly. She couldn't help but see how lost he looked and was that a slight trace of fear cross his face? As she continued to stare over at him those familiar butterflies once again churned around inside.

"Kakashi are you okay?" Her voice rising, higher to grab his attention.

"Huh…yah…Fine." He closed his eyes taking a deep staggered breath. Holding, tightly onto his usual calm leaving his wavering thoughts behind.

"If you are feeling okay?" He watched her head nod up and down." Okay…well…let's grab something to eat before we start you're training."

"Can we eat…"He answered her before she could finish. He knew where she wanted to go. It was where he always wanted to be most of his life before she entered his lonely life.

"Of course!" He smiled. His heart suddenly, felt lighter when he watched her slowly, softly smile back.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O

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Well guys…. sorry for taking so long with this chapter I hope making it longer makes up for my tardy posting. Now with the next chapters I am going to speed training. I just think everyone including moi would become bored to hell if I did weeks of training in detail. I will just go over some cute bonding ones to move the romance along.

Maybe a few more panic attack moments for Hinata. Hee hee I know all about them. Okay maybe not so funny panic attacks suck.

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Oh on another note…YES! Kakashi mistook Hinata's blush when he whispered in her ear for her still fawning over Naruto

Also I have nothing against Naruto so no flaming over my turning him into a complete idiot. I mean I was close to the show. Does he not always appear in her office unannounced?

Oh and yes I could not resist the whole river in Egypt and Denial bit. Old jokes just never die LOL! I just gave it a Narutard twist to it. LOL

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Anyways I want to thank you all for reading and I live for the reviews.  
Really I am like a review junkie. So for the love of Kami keep feeding my review addiction and click the button below!!

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Definitions

Baka…idiot

Kami or Kami-sama…God

Bara…Rose

Mai Bara…My Rose

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Shosen Jutsu or also called Mystical Palm Technique, is a multipurpose technique that can heal wounds and perform surgery. To heal with the ability, users collect chakra to their hand to speed up cell regeneration wherever it is applied. For the latter, the user focuses their chakra into a blade to make cuts where necessary, though because the blade is made of chakra the flesh is never cut. This aspect of the ability can be used in combat, though it requires great precision to be effective.


	21. Temptation

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Only You Understand My Pain

Kakashi x Hinata

Chapter 21

Temptation

Kakashi stood back, watching once again. As Hinata pooled a substantial amount of chakra into her palms. Holding it for fifteen minutes, before shifting the glowing chakra to her fingertips. Before long, small blades of blue light peeked from the tips.

His silver eye brow curved, upward. As his blue eye, registered the slight tremble in her hands and the fine sheen of sweat, that was starting to cover her forehead.

"Hinata that's enough for today! "

"No!" She shouted back through clenched teeth. Her face, straining as she concentrated on her hands. Pushing the unusual, blue chakra into longer blades.

"Hinata, I said enough! You are pushing yourself to hard!" His hand dropping on her soft rounded shoulder.

"Just one more time Kakashi!" Her voice wavering, as she strained.

"Hinata…!"He caught her in his arms, before she even realized, she was falling. Slowly, supporting her weight he lowered them to the grass below. Her breath coming out in short gasps.

"I told you!" Giving her a reprimanding stare. " It will do you no good bara… if you push yourself to the point of exhaustion." Wiping the back of her hand, across her forehead, she blew out a long breath.

"I know…I know it's just…" She sighed, letting her words fade away. Turning his head away, a scowl crossing his face. It ached him to no end, seeing her so torn up. Pushing her body to extremes.

Getting up, he walked slowly over to where he had left their cold, water bottles. Dropping one next to her.

'_A distraction that is what she needs. Even better to get the hell away from this damn village.'_ He thought, as he watched her sitting there. Worries filling her soft features.

She practically squealed, an ear piercing, scream. As a cold water bottle found its way to the back of her neck.

"Kakashi what the fu…!" She shrieked, turning on the now smirking jounin.

"What…." He shrugged, innocently. "Didn't want you passing out…figure the cold would do the trick." His voice coming out smooth and innocent. It was when, he caught the sinister glare of pale eyes on him. Did his senses register, he might be in trouble. Unfortunately, it came to late. All his great jounin skills, lapsed and he found his head dowsed in cold water. Tiny beads of cool water, dripping, down the back of his dark green jounin jacket. His mask, sticking uncomfortably to his face.

"Oops!" Hinata cried out in mock sarcasm. Her small, delicate, fingers covering her pink lips. "I'm sorry Kakashi…for a minute there I thought you looked…a tad parched!" She bit, her bottom lip for a half a second before falling back onto the ground laughing.

"Cute… very cute, bara!" He retorted, before standing up. Pulling off his wet mask and jacket he laid them out on the ground to dry.

Sitting back down on grass. He watched as she sat up, leaning back on her arms. Her head tilted back as she looked up at the sky. He suddenly felt like his throat was as dry as the Suna desert. His eye catching how her long blue hair cascaded down her back.

'_Anyone who does not see the beautiful woman Hinata is crazy beyond words…or stupid.' _He thought. Unhappily, picturing his former and completely ignorant, blonde student. Taking a sip of his own water he let it slide down his throat as he once again nearly groaned out loud .

__

'What the hell is she trying to do to me?'

He grumbled inwardly, as he watched her roll the cold bottle of water down her neck. Even if he wanted to look away, he couldn't. The sight was just to alluring. His shinobi trained eye didn't miss. The small drops of condensation, dripping from the bottle. Before sliding, down her slender pale neck. Dipping down, the valley between her large breasts. To disappear under the netted tank top that showed only a small glimpse, of her perfect feminine body. He couldn't stop his body's response to the erotic picture she formed.

He knew he had to stop his thoughts, here and now, when his pants became just a tad to tight from her alluring image.

"I was thinking…" He cringed, slightly at how deep and cracked his voice came out. Clearing his voice, he tried again.

" Hinata, I think since you plan on being a medical nin…well one thing that is required…is to be well versed in taijutsu." His words catching her full attention.

"Oh…um…with everything I forgot that." Her shoulders slumping, slightly forward. He could hear the slight tone of panic, grow in her soft voice.

"I mean… I'm okay with it. However most of my knowledge with hand to hand fighting… is well…with using gentle fist." Her head dropping, dejected. Soft, midnight hair covering her face.

"Hinata…" His voice dropping to a low, solemn whisper, as he let her name hang in the air. Closing his eyes, he breathed slowly through his nose once, twice, before standing up. Looking out to the forest that surrounded them.

It pained him to his very core, how broken they had made her. She doubted everything, she did in her life. The way she spoke, the way she moved, the way she fought. Probably all way down, to the way she thought. He was slowly, learning, just how badly her family treated her. Why had he never taken notice all these years? It seemed that all of her life, they had beaten her into submission. Maybe if he had paid more attention?

He might not have been able to stop them. However, he could at least have been the one to point out they were wrong. Boost her self esteem. Then again, wasn't that exactly what Inuzuka and Aburame had spent the years doing.

It was as if, the Hyuga clan's control on the heiress was too strong. Damn, how he hated them for breaking such a perfect creature. A woman pure as the driven snow, on a winter day. Whose kindness, was softer then a downy, white feather. Drifting in the air.

His heart caught, as he felt her gentle hand, touch his shoulder. Turning, he found his face inches from hers. His blue eye unable to turn away from those soft, doe like eyes. Her heavenly, floral scent surrounding him. It was intoxicating. Seeping into his senses, taking his self control away. Before he realized it. His hand, lay gentle against her soft, pale, cheek. He could feel, her breath, brushing softly across his lips.

"Kakashi…?" Her breath caught at his touch. He was so close, so very close. She could feel, the warmth of his body penetrating her chilled skin. It drew her in, like a moth to a flame. Before she could lean further into his warmth it was gone. His hand dropping from her skin, as he stepped away. Leaving her, with an empty feeling deep inside. As if she had lost a part of herself.

"It's getting late… we better head back." His voice coming out deep and slightly strained. Turning his back to her, he chastised himself for letting his control slip, once again. She was a temptation like he had never experienced before.

'_Get a grip Kakashi!_' He cursed inwardly. Reaching for his mask. He slipped it on before grabbing up his forest green, jounin jacket.

"So…" Hinata let the word draw out, as her eyes traveled over his broad shoulders. Drifting ever so slowly down. Till she felt, the warmth, fill her cheeks. From gawking at his perfectly, molded shinobi body. Her pale eyes, shifting quickly away as he turned his head towards her. Praying he wouldn't notice her flushed face.

"About…training…" Her words nervously rushed. As she continued to stare, at the ground. "I mean…um… about… taijutsu. Should I speak with Gai -senpai about giving me a refresher course? " Her wide eyes darting up quickly, to his masked face when she heard his deep chuckle.

"Oh Hinata…. as if I would allow, someone as lovely as you… to be tortured with that idiot's insane 'youthful' ramblings." His shoulders shaking, slightly, in mirth as his laughter grew.

"But…" Biting her bottom lip in thought. "If not Gai…then…um …I guess I could ask…Lee."

"Kami Hinata… he is like a miniature clone of Gai…" He chortled loudly causing Hinata to giggle softly behind her small hand.

"I am perfectly able to train you in taijutsu….unless you rather be tortured by a grown man in green spandex?" His eyebrow arching in amusement.

"No…I don't think I need that horror… thank you very much. "She tittered.

"Then it's settled… we will have a little refresher course and no more talk of…"

"Green spandex and youthfulness." Hinata giggled, finishing his sentence.

"Ya… " He chuckled, nudging her shoulder playfully, as they walked out of team eight's old training ground and towards the Hyuga manor.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Waving goodbye at the gate she watched as he walked away. Before turning, to face the harsh, bleach white, walls of the main branch house. As soon as she opened the front door she could feel the weight of the silence. It permeated the air, engulfing her. Making her skin prickle with unease.

__

'I will never understand! How can a house so full of clan members… always feel so cold and empty.'

She cringed inwardly. Sparing not a second thought on the unnatural stillness of the main house she moved on. Her steps light, as she quickly made her way up the stairs. Pushing her bedroom door open. Her hand trembling, slightly, as she turned the lock. As if that simple act could keep the cold emptiness away. Leaning heavily against the closed door she sighed softly, letting her eyes slip close.

Her mind drifting back to earlier. She could almost imagine his hand still cupping her cheek. His warm, hard body so close, so inviting. For a second, she had truly thought he was going to kiss her. As quickly as she had the thought, he was gone. Pulling away, as if nothing had ever taken place. Had she done something wrong?

Kami help her! How she wanted to feel, those warm lips against hers. Those strong, shinobi trained, arms wrap around her. To just let her body melt into his warmth. Letting out a long, held breath, her hair blowing from the force. She pushed away from the door.

" No I must have been mistaken, Kakashi would never see me in that light." Pulling out a long, wooden box from her closet. Her hands, swiftly, forming the signs to open the seals, that held the contents safe. Her fingers brushing, slowly, across the numerous medical scrolls. Scrolls touched by numerous medical ninjas before her.

__

'Even if he never notices me as a woman… I can still make him proud… by fulfilling my promise to my teammates.'

She thought, letting a soft smile cross her lips.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Sorry, everyone for not updating in awhile. With my kids back in school things have been crazy. I thought with my youngest, starting kindergarten. I would have more free time. Ha-ha what a joke. It seems after I get my teen off to Jr. High by 6:30 am. I am then getting the twins up and out by 8 am. Then I am lucky to get the dishes done and some laundry and then my youngest is off at 11:20 for kindergarten.

Just when I think I have time to myself… by 2pm my teen is home… then the others at 3:00. Urgh!! So I am guessing, I will be doing most of my writing on the weekends. Unless I pull an all nighter… which I have just been too damn worn out for. So please hang in there and bear with me. I have not given up on this story or my others.

Oh ,and I just have to shout out a ….Happy Birthday to the smexiest shinobi on Naruto. I had hoped to have this chapt. posted on the 15th but was unable. So a happy belated B-day to the one and only copy nin Kakashi. Damn if he was only real! LMAO….Yes I am such a rabid fan woman for that silver, spiked haired, jounin.

Hope you are all doing well and thanks for reading. If you could just click the button below and review. Making this rabid Kakashi woman happy. I promise internet Birthday cake for all that do.


	22. Love Sparks Alive

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Only You Understand My Pain

Kakashi x Hinata

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Chapter 22

Love Sparks Alive

Sitting on the familiar, fallen log in team eight's training ground. Hinata waited for Kakashi. It brought back memories of all the times she waited for her team to show. She was always the first to arrive. Slipping quickly, from the cold Hyuga compound at first light. Anything to avoid spending further time in the cold, silent, white walled prison it had become since her mother died.

Looking down, she smiled softly at the letters carved into the weathered wood of the fallen tree.

" Oh…I forgot about this." Her long, fingers following the lines and arches of each name.

"Silly Kiba…" She laughed, softly. Remembering the happy memories of that day, so long ago.

They were just beginning genin. It was after, their first 'C' ranked mission. Kiba loudly, and with great pride. Stated that team eight, should mark the log, showing their territory. So no one, would ever forget who team eight was and that this was their field.

"As if… I could ever forget you two." Her heart clenched, as she stared at their names.

Each name, carved with care by their very hands. Shinobi hands, that would never hold another weapon. Calloused hands, she would never get to hold within her own. She felt the sting of her warm, salty tears. The pink scar running down her cheek. Throbbing as it always did now when she cried for them.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

"Damn Naruto…now I'm late!" Kakashi cursed, as he made his way through the trees. It wasn't like it was unusual for him to be late. However, he had made sure over the last few months that he was never late, when it came to his bara, Hinata.

Yet, here he was over an hour late. All because of that blonde idiot. As he neared, the training grounds he ceased masking his approach. The last thing, he would want to do was to startle Hinata. In the last few weeks he could see the strain growing. He was amazed how hard she pushed herself. Never giving up, never slowing down. Yet it had him worried. Yes, he knew she was not as fragile as she looked however that did not lessen the sleepless nights she was causing him. Staring at the ceiling above him, worrying she would wither under all the pressure. Falling apart, like the petals of a dried rose.

Last night, had been the worse. Every time he closed his eyes, the image of her soft lips filled his mind. No matter, how much he willed himself, to let it go. He could not. It was becoming harder and harder to convince himself, he didn't have those sorts of feelings. That he was not falling, for the blue haired beauty. Yet the image of how close he had come, to losing control and claiming those enticing pink lips for his own. It could no longer be ignored; she had stolen a corner of his heart. A heart he thought, had long ago stopped caring. Lost as his teammates lives had been.

As he neared the edge of the trees. He tried to control the grin that twitched at his lips. As he caught sight of his blue haired rose. Her long dark hair cascading down her back in silky waves. As she sat faced away staring off in thought.

Hearing the rustle of leaves, Hinata quickly wiped the tears from her face. Quickly steadying her shuttering breath.

Brushing a hand through her hair, she stood up. Slowly, turning around to face him as he dropped from the treeline.

"Yo Hinata!…sorry I am late. Naruto has been after me all morning to treat him to ramen and you know how annoying he can be when it comes to…." His voice trailing off, as he gave her a questioning look. "You okay? Did something happen…?"

"I'm fine Kakashi…"Forcing a smile to her lips.

"You sure…"

"I'm fine… really." Her smile growing at his caring concern. Sliding off her jacket and folding it carefully she laid it on the log.

"Now come on… let's spar. You said… you would give me a refresher course on taijutsu. Unless you rather go hang with Nar… "

"Oh, hell no…I told you I would help with your taijutsu…so let's do this." He chuckled, sliding into a fighting stance. Hinata matching his stance with her own.

"Kakashi…?"

"What Hinata…?" A sly smirk growing behind his mask.

"Don't hold back…" Her words, fading as her body moved quickly at him. Taking him off guard and landing a hit, sending him staggering back a few feet.

" As you wish Mai Bara." A short chuckle leaving his lips as he moved swiftly towards her. She found herself, sliding back quickly. Nearly caught by his strike. As he moved, once again. She blocked his strike with her arm.

Dropping back, she centered her mind. She could do this she repeated to herself over and over again.

Pushing off, with her right leg she slipped past him. Letting her right hand, drive a blow to his shoulder as she slid past. He gave her no rest, as he turned quickly his leg catching hers. Catching herself she avoided crashing to the ground by flipping back wards. Landing in a perfect stance as he moved against her once again with lightening speed. She smiled, softly as adrenaline pumped through her veins. He was not holding back and she was enjoying the challenge. They where soon moving with near fluid movements. Each meeting the others strikes.

" Okay… I think that's enough for the day!" Kakashi called out, his breath slightly labored. Hinata nodded, dropping to the ground trying to catch her breath.

"I never realized how similar your open palm is to taijutsu. I don't think I will need to teach you much. " Taking a swig of water from his bottle he chuckled. " I would have been in serious trouble Hinata… if you had used even the slightest amount of your genkai chakra."

"I'm not so sure …you had me pushing myself to the limit." She smiled over at him, before gladly accepting a drink from his water bottle.

"Actually, there is something I could use more training with…" Hinata trailed off nervously. Kakashi had to swallow hard, when hentai images filled his mind. Maybe he should lay off his books for a few days.

"Uh…oh…" He stammered. "What would that be?" He once again, cursed inwardly at his perverted mind.

"Well…it's rather embarrassing.…I…uh…" She stammered nervously, catching herself before her fingers could poke together. An old habit that still came on when she felt extremely uncomfortable.

"Hinata … you know you can ask me anything." Standing up, he approached her slowly. Crouching down in front of her. "Tell me."

" I can not wield a senbon." She blushed mortified. "I mean… I am dead on accurate with a kunai or even a shuriken…. but for some reason, I am always off… when using a damn senbon."

"That's nothing to be embarrassed about Hinata." Kakashi chuckled.

"Yes it is!" She huffed. "I mean come on Kakashi… even genin can throw senbon more accurately then I can." Letting out a heavy sigh she frowned. "Kiba and Shino both tried to help teach me years ago but I just never could hit the bull's-eye with accuracy. So they said I should just stick with kunai's and shuriken's."

As hard as he tried, he could not hold in his laughter. Hearing his chuckle she scowled at him.

"I'm sorry….You just look so damn cute when your mortified with embarrassment." He laughed teasingly.

"Thanks a lot!" She huffed but a smile tugged at the corner of her lip. Letting out a slight gasp of surprise. As she felt herself being pulled up from the ground and a senbon pushed into her hand. The metal feeling cold and slightly foreign to her. She tried, to remember just how many years had passed, since she had held one in her grip.

"Come on show me." His hand gesturing to the bulls-eye on training dummy a yard away.

"Are you kidding me?! You will just laugh more!" She fumed, half heartedly. Sighing, he took her by the shoulders directing her towards the bulls-eye.

"Hinata!" Giving her a mock look of appalled shock. "How could you ever think I would laugh at you! " When she shot him a knowing look, he chuckled loudly.

"Oh okay, I might laugh a little… but only because I think you look so adorable when you're mortified with embarrassment Mai Bara." He teased. A smirk growing wider, behind the cloth of his mask. As his eye, caught the rosy blush staining her pale ivory cheeks.

He had to fight, the urge to pull her against him and kiss those velvet, pink lips till they were swollen. Pushing his hentai thoughts to the back of his mind, he shouted out to her.

"Just throw bara!' His smirk, growing ever so bigger behind his mask. Stepping back, he pushed up his hitai-ate, activating his sharingan.

Sighing unhappily, her cheeks glowing red as a tomato she released the senbon. Groaning unhappily, when it missed the target. Landing instead, at the foot of the training dummy.

"See pathetic!" She cried out, throwing her arms up in the air in defeat and walking away from the training dummy. Kakashi snickered softly behind his mask.

"Definitely adorable." He teased. Hinata pursed her lips, and frowned over at him. Pulling down his hitai-ate he walked over to the training dummy, retrieving the senbon.

" Hinata, you are not pathetic." Twirling the senbon between his fingers. "Come here I'll show you."

Taking her hand, he pulled her back in front of the training dummy. Moving to stand behind her.

"You just need a little help with your throwing position…that's all. "

Her cheeks blushed crimson as he wrapped, his left arm firmly around her waist. Taking her right hand in his. The senbon still clasped tightly in her fingers.

Her skin tingled, as if his touch was electrified. Kakashi gently guided her arm in to position. His warm breath, brushing against the nape of her neck. Making it ever so hard, to breath. She unknowingly leaned her body slightly back . It was if her body had a mind of its own. Needing… wanting, to be closer to his. She could feel the beat of his heart against his ribs. Her own heart, pounded fiercely as if it would leap from her chest at any moment.

Just when she thought, she might calm her beating heart. His hand, slid further down the curve of her hip. As he rotated her into position. Her breath hitch and liquid desire flowed through her veins. She could barely think as his right hand slowly moved, guiding her arm back. His fingers clasping her delicate wrist.

"Now release!" The thin metal stick glittering in the sunlight as it left her hand. Burying deeply in the center of the target. His fingers leaving her wrist only to capture her hand with in his own, fingers curling around lovingly.

"Perfect…"He whispered into her ear. The tone of his voice had her thinking that one word carried something more.

Minutes passed, neither one moving. Hinata found herself fighting a losing battle. To control her thundering heart. It was just too hard. With his firm, muscular chest pressed against her spine. She felt herself melt into his warmth.

Her breath shuttered nervously as she moved her arm. His hand still holding it tenderly. She prayed he wouldn't let go as she brought it to her chest. To lie against the beating of her heart. Could he feel how fast it was beating? Beating just for him no one else.

When he didn't pull away she felt those familiar butterflies only he could cause. Closing her eyes she savored the feeling of being held with in his arms.

Kakashi reeled in the knowledge of what was happening. It was like a dream. Or all the fantasies he had been having recently where finally surfacing into reality. It was all just to overwhelming to be true.

Here he stood the so called copy nin holding the blue haired rose Hinata within his arms. Thee Hinata Hyuga…His Bara the woman who haunted his every waking moment and nightly fantasy.

With her milky white skin, and dark midnight blue hair. Hair that looked, like shimmering satin but felt softer then the finest silk. Whose wide, lavender moonstone eyes held him entranced. When ever he stared into them. Had power, stronger then she would ever know and a heart of gold.

This Goddess of a rose was holding his hand against her beating heart. How could it be real? It was just too perfect. Perfection that was destroyed faster then an exploding tag and just as loud.

"Hey… what the hell are you guys doing?!" Naruto hollered, bounding into the clearing. His bright orange jumpsuit, a sharp contrast, to the earthy tones of the surrounding forest.

His sudden appearance. Causing the two to pull apart, as fast as a teen age couple, getting caught in the janitor closet.

" Naruto!" Kakashi hissed under his breath. '_How could one former student, continue to be such a pain in his ass after all these years?_' He groaned to himself.

"N…Naruto." Hinata gapped her face blushing red with unease. "What are you doing here?"

"Hee hee…" Scratching his head uneasily. "Well… I came to find Kakashi. He owes me a bowl of ramen."

"I do not!" Kakashi muttered under his breath. Ignoring his former sensei, Naruto continued.

"So just what were you two doing…so cozy?" His blue eyes narrowing in on Kakashi. "Hinata is too nice of little girl for you old man."

Hinata blanched, her lips mouthing the words 'little girl'. Her normally kind face turning cold as she shot the blonde a dirty look.

Letting out an exasperated sigh. Kakashi faced the bane of his former team.

"Listen… Naruto…Hinata and I were training! Which you have interrupted." Taking a breath he tried to hold his displeasure. "Also Naruto…. Hinata is not a child! So do not go around treating her like one!"

Oh, how he wanted to inform the boy that he was the one who always acted like an idiotic child most of the time.

His teeth clenched as he annunciated each word. "Oh and if you want to see tomorrow… you will not call me an old man again…Got it!"

"Yah yah …what ever!" Naruto waved a hand, brushing him off. "Now about that ramen…"

Looking over, his eye locked with hers. With an understanding nod, she sent him a sympathetic smile. "Fine let's go Naruto." Kakashi sighed in defeat.

"I will see you tomorrow Kakashi for training." Hinata smiled shyly.

"Alright… tomorrow then." A smile growing under his mask at just the thought of spending more time together.

"Hey can I join…" Naruto found his words cut off quickly, as the two shouted a very firm 'NO!'

"Fine !… I'll just train with that moron Sai. Geesh… you two sure are sticking to this hush- hush training Granny Tsunade assigned you both."

Giving Hinata a wave goodbye. Kakashi grabbed Naruto by the shirt collar. Pulling the slightly bewildered young man out of team eight's training field. Hinata couldn't hold in the laugher, hearing Naruto's voice whining pitiful that Kakashi had to pay for his ramen.

Grabbing her jacket from the log and slipping it on. She made her way over to the training dummy. Pulling the silver senbon out of the bull's-eye she rolled it between her fingers. Watching it catch, the colors of the setting sun in its silvery sheen. A flash of Kakashi flickered across her mind. Just thinking about the silver haired jounin set a fire in her veins. She knew she couldn't ignore it anymore. All these sensations, he stirred in her. The simple touch of his hand on hers set her a flutter.

"Oh Kami… I am in love with Kakashi Hatake!" She gasped, her hand flying to her lips. A small smile touched her lips. Just as suddenly as it appeared it was gone. Tears prickled at the corner of her pale eyes. As the reality of her predicament reared its ugly head.

"It doesn't even matter." She thought sadly. "Even if Kakashi felt the same… we will never be together."

As she made her way home. She cursed the day she was ever born into the Hyuga clan.

O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O.

Definitions

Baka…idiot

Kami or Kami-sama…God

Bara…Rose

Mai…my

Mai Bara…My Rose

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I know you are all eager for their first kiss and I promise it will be coming up and yes a lemon too in the near future. This stories romance is one that slowly progresses. With all her grief. I knew I could not throw the two together too quickly. That and I have some surprises still to come. So hang in there… trust me it will be well worth the wait.

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Now if you could kindly review. You will make this aging writer… oh so, very happy. With my birthday quickly approaching in a few weeks I need all the cheering up I can get. Reviews equal a very happy Moonwitch! LOL!!

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I will share my birthday cake with you…LOL…..Oh man, I feel old… LOL!!


	23. The Fourth Member of Team Eight

**Only You Understand My Pain**

**Kakashi x Hinata fanfic**

**Chapter 23**

**The Fourth Member of Team Eight **

It had been two weeks since Tsunade and Kakashi had increased her training. Even though she felt her body straining from all the work she was putting into controlling her genkai she was pleased with herself. For once she didn't feel like she was a complete failure. Steps behind all the other jounin her age. She had already mastered holding a chakra scalpel for nearly an hour. Though she found herself quickly drained soon after and unable to push any further for the rest of the day.

To Tsunade happiness she had also mastered the next level of scroll texts and even perfected all the hand signs to Mystical Palm Technique. So well that she was already applying her new skills to some of the patients in the emergency room. Granted she was only allowed to heal incoming shinobi with non life threatening injures but it was a start. Tsunade had her now making rounds at the hospital twice a week accompanied usually by Lady Tsunade herself or Shizune.

When she was able, she actually enjoyed putting in extra time with Sakura, in the children's ward. She quickly found that this was the ward she enjoyed working the most out of all.

Even with her busy schedule the weight on her shoulders had not lessened. Time was running out and she felt hopeless to do anything to change the upcoming future. She tried to hold positive thoughts. In a few days, Tsunade had decided she would begin her training in the large white room. The only room in the hospital large enough to hold the glowing green seals for chikatsu saisei no jutsu. The techniques of healing resuscitation and regeneration.

In fact just the other day Sakura had pouted with jealousy when she heard. Complaining that it had been a full year before Lady Tsunade would even allowed her near the special regeneration room.

However the time spent next to Kakashi. Training under his watchful eyes were the most serene. Seeing him smile, when they were alone. Some how over the months, she saw his walls crumble away. He no longer wore his mask when they were alone training.

Truly the days with Kakashi were the only time her heart felt light. His patient ways reminded her of the old times when she was a genin training with her team…her friends…her family. Even though she could not deny the fact he was a better sight to lay her eyes upon.

After the incident with the senbon, Hinata knew she could no longer deny her feelings. Though she tried night after night. Only to find the vision of his mouth so close to hers, every time her eyes slid closed. Dreams so vivid she swore his scent, masculine and woodsy truly invaded her senses like an aphrodisiac. Wrapping around her skin, like the first morning dew covering the forest leaves. Leaving her enthralled and trembling for more.

She knew he was the only man who could ever make her heart feel full. Not the childish flutter she had felt years ago for Naruto but warmth so intense. A sensation she had believed would be forever gone. Emptied, drained away ever since the night she lost them.

Brushing her long hair back, she tried to stop the rambling fantasies filling her mind. She wasn't going to kid herself, that she could ever have Kakashi's broken heart. She knew there was no way on this green earth that he could ever fall for her. She could list all the reasons but why go through the shame and self abuse. She had a father and a whole clan of elders who pointed each and every one of them out to her on a continuous basis.

With a steadying breath she pushed down the self doubt and self esteem issues into a dark corner of her mind as she made her way out the hospitals staff only door. A crisp breeze blew through her loose hair as she walked.

Slowly a deep, crimson red, maple leaf drifted down in front of her. An unnerved breath, leaving her lips as she caught sight of the first signs of the approaching autumn. Crouching down, she plucked the leaf up. Twirling the stem between her fingers. The leaf was not yet dry and cracked but on it's way. Proof fall was growing ever closer, as was her father's deadline.

Time was passing, moving faster. Her lost friends drifting further away with the passing of time. She stared down at the dying leaf. Continuously twirling the leaf as she tried to remember Kiba's loud boisterous laugh. The way his one fang would jut out, when he gave her his infamous wide grin.

How Shino could stand in front of her. Arms folded, dark glasses, and tall coat collar covering his face however Hinata could still tell if he was happy, sad, or ready to strangle Kiba. She could almost hear his rare deep chuckle but how long would she remember these small things? The things most individuals took for granted. She was already feeling the fading of memory. Of how Kiba would hold her hand safely within his own when she was frightened. Shino's steadying hand on her shoulder showing his confidence in her. The sense of warmth sleeping between the two while on mission. Like being held in a safe cocoon.

Letting the leaf slip from her delicate fingertips. She watched as it skipped along the cool breeze, cursing inwardly. Time was cruel and it was taking them even further away from her. Without a second thought she let her feet travel over the familiar path. Down past the whispering, staring villagers and their gossiping mouths.

Her footsteps soft and light as she left the main road and down the small dirt and pebbled path to the only anchor she had left to the ones she lost. She still had a little time to say hello before she met up with Kakashi for their afternoon training session.

Hinata was only a few steps from her serene sanctuary, when a deep gravely voice called out to her. Turning slowly around, her pale eyes widened as they fell on the familiar wolf like form of Kuromaru.

Hinata's mind reeled seeing Tsume Inuzuka's nin dog. Kuromaru stood stoutly and slightly intimidating, with his disfigured ear and eye patch. His head lifted proudly, he was head of the Inuzuka ninken.

It wasn't that it was unnervingly frightening to her or even oddly insane, hearing the dogs gravely voice. Over the years, Hinata had practically become an unofficial member of the Inuzuka clan. Kiba knowing Hinata's grief at home would often bring her to his clan's home. She spent numerous hours playing with the ninken pups and staying for countless family dinners. She even helped Hana at the Inuzuka veterinary clinic when ever she was short staffed. Some of Hinata's happiest childhood memories were spent at the clan home with Kiba and his family.

"Kuromaru!" Hinata smiled, kneeling down in front of the head ninkin of the Inuzuka clan.

"I have missed you and…"Her soft voice trailing off forlornly. She was quickly faced with the fact she had been purposely avoiding Tsume, Hana, and especially Akamaru. It was her fault that she had not saved Kiba. She knew quite well what a coward she had become. Avoiding the whole Inuzuka clan just like she was with the Aburame clan. After the memorial she just did not know what to say. 'I'm sorry', just did not cut it.

"Lady Hinata it is urgent you come with me now!" Kuromaru said gruffly.

"Why?" Hinata voice, coming out slightly trill. A fierce panic gripping her chest. "Nothing bad has happened to Lady Tsume or Hana?" She gasped when his head dropped sadly then quickly darted back up once again holding his head stoic and unmoving.

"No, they are both well Lady Hinata. It is Akamaru who…" He never finished his sentence as she pushed past him. Her legs moving fast, darting in and out of the crowded main streets. With a gruff growl Kuromaru dashed after.

Fear seized Hinata, adrenaline fueling her body as she made it across the village in half the time. Leaving the roads behind as she jumped over one rooftop to another. Ignoring the glares and disapproving 'tsks' from the streets below. Acting as if they had never seen a shinobi travel in such a fashion. Yet she was not a typical shinobi in most villagers' minds. She was the Hyuga heiress.

Giving a quick glance behind to see that Kuromaru was right behind on her heels. As they grew closer to the Inuzuka clan gates he sped passed her. Dropping down to the ground before her.

"This way Lady Hinata." The first thing Hinata noticed was how quiet the clan grounds were. Way to quiet, for a clan with over a few dozen nin dogs. It was normally bustling with yips, playful growls, and wagging tails. Something was seriously wrong, more then just the death of their clan leader's son.

"Oh thank Kami-sama you came." The familiar voice of Hana cried out. Hinata found herself enveloped in a warm, sisterly embrace.

"H…Hana?" Hinata's voice coming out a mere whisper. Her arms automatically moving from her sides returning the older jounin's hug. She couldn't stop the tears from welling up, in her pale lavender eyes.

"Oh Hinata… I have missed you …we all have." She cried, her own tears pooling in her dark amber eyes.

"Why did you stay away?" Hana asked, pulling back to stare at the shorter woman. Her hands still holding on to Hinata arms. Hinata tried to come up with a plausible excuse besides the truth. Rather then stating the real cause of her absence was because she was a failure and a coward.

Hinata stiffened, as a harsh voice rang out loudly in the afternoon air.

"Yes Hyuga…. just where the hell have you been? "A cold shiver ran down Hinata's spine at the icy sound of Tsume's voice.

"My only son is dead…"Her eyes narrowing into slits. The matriarch of the Inuzuka clan was not one to ever hold back. "Now the young girl who grew up, practically as one of our own just vanishes. What was it Hinata, did you just decide you need no waste your time with us commoners! Is that it heiress?" Tsume snapped. Hinata turned away unable to face her. The scar on her face burning, fiercely as her chest tightened with grief.

"Mother!" Hana hissed, sending her mother a very scolding look.

"Answer me Hinata Hyuga!" Hinata turned, slowly at the sound of Tsume's harsh strangled voice. Looking up through sorrow filled eyes. Pale tear filled eyes, facing the mother of her deceased friend. A mother who's face was tight with deep sorrow. Suddenly Hinata watched her weathered face soften.

"Oh Hinata…I am such a bitter old woman anymore." Her hand reaching up, brushing Hinata's wet cheeks. Erasing the tears that were coursing down her pale, cold cheeks. She let herself be enveloped into the older woman's strong embrace. Clinging to her like a lost child. A broken sob coming from her lips.

"I...I'm so sorry…It's all my fault!" Hinata's words gushing out between broken sobs. The scar burning painfully at each aching cry. "I ..I failed them!"

"Oh little one… is that why you stayed away all these last months? "Tsume cooed in her deep weathered voice. "Oh you silly…silly child. None of this was your doing." Her long, clawed fingers motherly combing through Hinata's long hair.

"It is just the cruel fate of being a shinobi. "Tsume sighed heavily. "I know how much you cared for my boy. He loved you very much Hinata… I had hoped that one day he would make you officially part of our family…"Tsume's voice drifting off sadly. Hinata felt Hana's comforting hand on her shoulder.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Hinata." Hana smiled weakly. "I find great solace knowing you were with my brother in his final moments."

Tsume lifted Hinata chin gently with her clawed fingers.

"You are family to us Hinata. You will always be welcome in the Inuzuka clan home." Tsume voice coming out unusually soft for her personality. "That is why I had Kuromaru fetch you." Her face growing serious as she stared into Hinata's eyes. "You're Inuzuka family needs you desperately."

That feeling of unease that she had before entering the clan grounds filled her, churning in her stomach.

"What's wrong?" Hinata whispered fearing the approaching doom of something terrible coming her way.

"Come inside Hinata." Hana replied, taking her wrist and pulling her towards the house. Giving her mother a disheartened glance.

"Hinata you know how bonded a Inuzuka is with their ninkin…correct?" Tsume asked as they entered the roomy house. Hinata nodded knowingly. She always knew how close Kiba and Akamaru were. More then just master and pet. Realizing this, that knowing feeling grew in her gut, twisting with fear.

"Well when a Inuzuka dies before their bonded nin dog it can have serious consequences."

Hinata gasped at her words. Her knees buckling slightly under her small frame. With a shaky hand she leaned against the wall.

"Akamaru!" She whispered sadly. Why had she not realized this sooner. She had let herself become so wrapped up in her on grief over Kiba and Shino's death that she had forgotten her team's fourth member.

"Hinata…Akamaru is dying." Tsume said darkly.

"He is not dead yet mother…I am still holding out hope." Hana said wearily looking over to Hinata. "He's refusing food and now…"She paused reaching for some form of control. Letting out strained breath. Hana's eyes locked with Hinata's.

"Hinata it is now to the point he is refusing water. I have been trying I.V. replacement to counter dehydration but it just not enough. Hinata he is wasting away before my eyes. It's like he has just given up and I powerless to stop it." Hana sobbed. "I'm a fucking veterinarian I can't even save my late brothers bonded ninkin!" Tsume moved to hold her daughter.

"Akamaru lost his master…you can not blame your skills in veterinary medicine for this daughter."

"Hinata maybe if you visit with him…talk to him...try something… anything." Hana begged. " Hell if I know what… you just have to.. ."Another sob breaking from her lips.

"I lost my brother…I just can't lose Akamaru too." Hana wiped her face with the back of her hand, the tears still coming. Turning to walk away she looked back at her mother who stood in the hallway. Hinata leaning against the wall. "Please Hinata…"

Tsume turned sadly towards Hinata. "She is holding on to hope but I fear…" She paused taking Hinata's arm and leading her down the long hallway.

"Go Hinata…. he's waiting for you." With that, she turned leaving Hinata alone.

Hinata froze seeing the familiar door. Her heart pounding like a drum against her chest. She just could not go any further. Her feet frozen to the wood floor boards beneath her.

Before this nightmare her life had become she would have normally bounded through the door . Just like she always did in the early morning hours. Dragging Kiba out of bed for training. Even though he grumbled he would always give her his famous fanged smile. She use to say it was brighter then the sun above. Shino would stand in the doorway quietly. Only to chuckle deeply when ever Kiba, still half asleep, would trip out of bed landing painfully on the floor.

Now she stared at the scratched wood on the door. Frozen to the core of her heart. Unable to even reach for the door knob. This was Kiba's bedroom . All of what was left behind of him was held behind that dark wooden door. How could she go in there? How could she disturb what was left. She was not strong enough to face it all.

"Kiba…"His name leaving her lips on an exhaled whisper. She could already feel, her own warm tears travel down her cheeks, to drip on the floor beneath. Seeping into the hardwood flooring, covered in numerous scratches. All caused by the happy scampering pawed claws of Akamaru.

A pitiful whimpered whine slipped through the door. It was if it had reached out and wrapped around her broken heart. Suddenly nothing was holding her back. Within a hairs breath she was pushing through the door and tumbling into the room. Her eyes only focusing on one item, in the large messy room. Her feet stepping over Kiba's tossed, dirty clothes and numerous half rolled scrolls scattered here and there. Kunai and shurikens thrown haphazardly around the floor. Items all left the way they had been discarded, like a memorial frozen in time. Reaching the bed Hinata's breath caught at the sight of the formally overly large nin dog.

"Akamaru! Oh Akamaru…" Burring her face in his once soft fur that was now course and knotted. She could feel his bones. It was as if the only thing holding him together was the skin around him. He was wasting away to nothing.

"Oh Akamaru!" Her voice cried softly. Sitting up she could hardly believe this was the great and powerful ninkin Akamaru. Her Akamaru was nothing but skin and bones… an empty shell. Running her fingers gentle through his hair she kept whispering his name over and over again until she finally heard him whine softly.

His head lifting slightly. Cloudy, dark brown eyes gazing sadly up at her. Then with another weak whimper his head dropped, eyes closing.

"Oh Akamaru…sweet Akamaru…you can't leave me too!" She gasped through a veil of tears. "Please I can't lose you…I…I… lost Kiba and Shino…dammit… I can't lose you. You are all I have left of our little team eight family."

Laying her head next to him, she closed her eyes. Clasping her trembling hands together she cried out pleading to all the Gods and Goddesses, her voice broken with heart breaking sobs. Yet he stayed the same still and unresponsive. She moved to lay her head softly against Akamaru's chest. Tears soaking his wet, white fur as she listened to his heart beat. It was a even beat…thump …thump. Yet she knew it was weakening day by day.

She knew how broken he was to lose his master. Her heart ached like his… lost, broken and shattered. Akamaru the lively little puppy who sat on Kiba's head. The one who always offered his warmth. Lying next to her as the cold seeped through the thin tent walls. The one she would whisper to in secret when the rest went to sleep. The pup she told all her lonely, hopeless, feelings of inadequacy as a Hyuga heiress. When they were young he was her confessor. A safe way to release her sorrow. His head lying on her lap listening, yet never judging. Sweet, gentle Akamaru who had a heart like a lion. Protecting his master and his team mates. The nin-kin who grew to be a mighty warrior. Large as a lion yet still a hopeless pup at heart.

The sensation of a rather dry tongue brushing against her hand had her sitting up like a bolt of lightening pale eyes wide and wet.

"Akamaru!" She smiled gentle bending down nose to nose with him.

"You can hear me, can't you…?" He replied with another weak lick, his head barely able to lift up.

"Oh Akamaru …you know I love you…"Brushing her nose against his dry one in a little doggie kiss. Just like she had done countless numbers of time, ever since he was just a small bundle of fur sitting in Kiba's coat.

"Listen to me Akamaru… you have to do what Hana tells you. You need to eat and grow strong like before." Sighing she ran her hand over his ears, scruffing them a little. "You and I are still a team… we are family." Sitting up, she turned her head sadly away as she bit back the tears.

"I know Kiba is gone and he was your master… your bond mate but…" She bit her lips harder when she heard his pitiful whimper. Taking a steady breath she leaned down to stare into his sad eyes. "Maybe you could choose another…Kiba would not want you to let go and fade away like this Akamaru. He loved you too much." Running her hand through his fur she thought for a moment.

"Listen Akamaru I am training to be a medic and… well…there will be times when I have to go on missions as a teams medical support. I could use your help as my ears and nose." A soft smile growing by the moment on her pink lips. "Think about it Akamaru with my eyes and your great sense of smell and hearing we could save so many lives. Find lost shinobi and help the wounded. Akamaru please don't give up…"

Hinata startled slightly when she heard Hana open the door. Leaning down Hinata pressed a kiss to his furry head and gave him a whispered I love you buddy. Standing up she followed Hana to the door before closing the door she gave one last pleading try.

"Please be strong and hold on for me Akamaru." With that she closed the door following Hana down the hall.

"Hinata thank you…I heard what you said…and I am so grateful you still consider him your teammate."

"So you saw him open his eyes and lick my hand." Hana nodded softly.

"So he will get better right!" Hinata asked, her voice pleading hopefully.

"I won't lie to you Hinata. He only has maybe a ten percent chance of making it. In fact mother is surprised he has lived this long. Like we said before ninkin hardly ever survive after their Inuzuka master dies. They just can not handle the bond being broken. It is formed when they are just pups and grows stronger the older they get. " Her eyes widened as she saw Hinata's face pale. "I'm sorry Hinata maybe I was wrong to have asked you to come."

"B..But he has to make it!" Hinata pleaded her voice rising sharply. "Hana you're the best veterinary medical nin in the village!"

"Hinata I have tried everything…I …I am just unable to do anything more. It is up to Akamaru now and it seems he wants to join Kiba on the other side." A tear sliding down her tattooed cheeks "I'm sorry Hinata."

Hinata had lost Kiba and Shino and now to be told she would lose another member of team eight's family. It was all to much for her to take. She felt her heart crack, like glass.

"No!" Hinata's voice a high pitched wail as she pushed past Hana.

"Hinata!"

Running out the door Hinata's mind not even comprehending Hana and Tsume's worried cries to come back. She couldn't stop, her feet carrying her out of the Inuzuka clan gates and down the back streets. Salty tears streaming from her pale eyes into the air behind. She didn't stop till she reached the memorial. Dropping down, crashing to her knees. The grass scrapping and staining her knees.

Hinata closed her eyes leaning her head against the black wall. She knew exactly how Hana felt. To be helpless unable to save the one you loved. To stop their unnecessary death. A vision of Kiba and Shino's bloody bodies flickered behind her closed eyelids. If she had just been stronger. Had more medical training she could have saved their lives. She felt like she was drowning. The water crashing in all around her pulling her in deeper. Into an abyss of dark despair.

"Not Akamaru you can't take another one from me!" She screamed into the crisp air. Her anguish cries so loud it sent a flock of birds scattering from the surrounding trees.

"I can't lose another!" Her small, porcelain white, fists pounding against the dark stone. Dark as the cloud of pain that surrounded her heart ever since they died.

"No!…No! No!" She screamed over and over again. Her body so numb with heartache she could not feel the pain as her knuckles began to bleed. Drops of dark crimson blood spotted the black stone. Dripping slowly down to the ground below. The air surrounding the monument was still, only broken by her anguished cries as she continued to pound against the wall. Heartbroken and numb to the world around her.

Her body was filled, with an unquenchable, pain. Her mind so tormented it didn't comprehend when a warm chest pressed itself against her back.

Hinata continued to scream, a rapid rage of sorrow. Even as muscular arms wrapped around her. The strong, calloused, hands attached to those long arms, reached out clutching her delicate wrists tightly. Never failing in holding her protectively, as she continued to struggle against her savior. It took several minutes until she finally collapsed against him exhausted.

Her eyes slipping closed as her mind drifted off to the memories of the night of the battle. The night their earthly lights were extinguished. When the ones she loved slipped between her fingers.

She remembered the feeling of her chakra slowly ebbing away. Bringing her closer to death. A death she had welcomed with open arms, so bitterly sweet. She remembered that the silence of the deep woods was broken by Akamaru's howls. Like a poignant funeral dirge, echoing through the darkness of night.

She recalled letting her heart lift and float along with that piteous sound of endless desolation. Ready to embrace the next phase of life. Where her death would reunite her with her team…her family that held her heart.

That was when it happened. A deep voice with an overwhelming strength and yet also kind. So warm it called out to her from the darkness. Pleading with her to not die…to just hold on.

"Kakashi! " Hinata gasped, her long lashed eyelids flying open. Lavender eyes growing wide with the knowledge it had been Kakashi who had pulled her from death. She had forgotten so much of that night. Only the images of Kiba and Shino lying in puddles of their own blood haunted her mind. Yet Kakashi had shown up, dropping from the forest canopy to her aid.

Kakashi didn't fight her when she pulled away. His eye watching her as she faltered trembling as she stood.

She had forgotten that he had found her. Her mind started to recall all of that horrible night. Know she understood how he had come to know of her Aoi kaen genkai. Tsunade had only stated that Kakashi knew of it and why had she kept it a secret from her Hokage. Tsunade never added where he had seen it or that it was Kakashi who had saved her that night.

"It was you that night…you saved me the night of the battle." Kakashi eye never left her. Watching as she turned her head away. As if hiding herself, alone and lost in memories.

The night's stiff breeze moving through her long, dark locks of hair. Uncovering her smooth porcelain like skin. The full moon reflecting in the rush of tears that fell from her clouded lavender eyes. Causing them to glitter against her pale cheeks. His ears once again hearing her say his name. It was so soft as if said on an exhale of breath, reaching out to him in need.

"Hinata…"His arms never wavering as he reached out, pulling her close against his beating heart. Wrapping her in his warmth. His rich warm voice whispering her name, soothing her.

After awhile, he himself was unsure of all the words he whispered slowly, softly into her ears. Yet he never ceased, never let go, till her tears ceased. He could no longer deny his feelings as he held her protectively under the moons light. He had fallen in love with the dark haired rose.

'_I will protect you Mai Bara…even if it is from yourself.' _

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O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O

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Sorry I have once again taken so long to get out the next chapter. Now before you all start freaking out and writing to me flaming daggers…that I can not kill off Akamaru.

**I am not going to do that!!!! **

There is a purpose with bringing him into the story. That and how could I kill off that adorable ball of fur.

Well, I hope you like this chapter and I will try and get the next one out sooner then this one. Thanks so much for reading and please review!

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Ninken…nin dog

Mai bara…my rose

Bara…rose

Kami/Kami-sama…god

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**Saisei no Jutsu, _literally_ "Healing Resuscitation Regeneration Technique" **

This jutsu uses a part of the patient's body as a medium to heal their wounds. It requires an almost room-wide seal and a lot of time to complete. The medic-nin on hand actually have to trade places after tiring, indicating just how long it takes. This was used successfully on Neji Hyuga during the Sasuke Retrieval arc.

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**Mystical Palm Technique **is a multipurpose technique that can heal wounds and perform surgery.

**Hand Seals: **Tiger, Horse, Rabbit, Rat, Dog

To heal with the ability, users collect chakra to their hand to speed up cell regeneration wherever it is applied. For the latter, the user focuses their chakra into a blade to make cuts where necessary, though because the blade is made of chakra the flesh is never cut. This aspect of the ability can be used in combat, though it requires great precision to be effective. When utilized in combat it allows the user to sever their opponent's muscle fibers or their chakra circulatory system at the point of contact.


	24. Healing

**Only You Understand My Pain**

**Kakashi x Hinata**

**Chapter 24**

**Healing**

Hinata felt apprehensive as she made her way to the training field. It had been two days since she had seen Kakashi. Two days, since she fell apart in front of him. In front, of the strongest jounin in all of Konoha. The man who had brought her from the edge of death.

"Kami I must look like a truly pathetic woman in his eyes." She said with chagrin.

Tsunade had her working the last two days full time at the hospital. Giving her a reason to miss training without resorting to lies. The only time away from training at the hospital Hinata spent next to Akamaru's side. He was still wasting away and she felt powerless. She finally resorted in begging Tsume and Hana for the Inuzuka clan's secret medical scrolls.

Last night she had spent the entire night concealed under her genjutsu. Reading over and over again the scrolls in hopes of finding something…anything, that could keep Akamaru from death. Unfortunately she found most of the scrolls, dealt with healing deep wounds. Or ridding ninken of worms, insect bites, and a few scrolls contained special herbal treatments. To rid the host of fleas and ticks. When it came to the subject, of nin dogs losing their human owner and bond mate. The diagnoses was always grim.

The only promising item, she had found was in a old faded scroll. It had stated that in a few rare documented cases. A ninken was able to survive, by bonding with an individual, who was close to the fallen shinobi's bond mate. An individual, the ninken knew since they were a pup. One who they trusted and knew their mastered had trusted with their life.

Hinata had found herself so overcome with hope. That in her excitement of reading something that was positive. She had taken, the risk of slipping out of the clan's compound. Pounding on the Inuzuka's front door at two in the morning.

Hinata found herself, smiling as she remembered the sight that greeted her at the door. She had heard Kiba over the years, repeatedly complaining about how hideous his older sister was. So horrifying, that she resembled, an alien invader from one of his sci-fi manga.

Even though she and Shino both scoffed at him. Kiba still insisted he was right and that her skin was truly green. He would then turn away and pout when she started giggling. Shino's deep chuckle joining hers. Calling his best friend, the male version of a 'drama queen' to Kiba's disgust. This would lead, both alpha males into a round of name calling. Which would easily, escalate to a heated sparing match. Leaving Hinata once again to play referee. Oh, how she hated being put into the middle.

'_Now, what I wouldn't give… to see those two fighting once more. I would gladly be referee. If it meant they were both safe and alive.' _She sighed inwardly, her feet shuffling slowly across the dirt path. Shaking the sad thoughts from her mind. She once again remembered the sight of Hana as she slammed the door open, screaming menacingly.

"This had better be fucking important. Do you have any idea what time it is….oh Hinata it's you…"Her brown eyes going slightly sheepish. Of course Hinata hadn't help when she began giggling. Her hand, trying desperately to cover the wide grin on her lips. Eyes filled with amusement as they stared up at Hana. She couldn't help herself even as Hana frowned. Kiba had been right she did look like an insane, green skinned, alien.

Eyes wide, nose flaring in anger. As she stood face covered in a light green, avocado, face mask. The kicker was how she pinned her hair. It stood up in wild clumps. Here and there, in no discernable pattern. All she needed was a pair of bobble head antennae and she would have made the perfect alien.

It had taken, a few minutes for Hinata to control her laughter and explain to Hana why she was standing there in the dead of night, laughing.

She had watched as Hana's eyes clouded and took on a far away look. As if remembering something. Within a few minutes, Hana snorted before breaking into loud laughter. Sitting down to a hot cup of tea. The two spent, the nightly hours reminiscing about Kiba.

By morning, Hinata had left the Inuzuka clan home slightly downhearted and a bit discontented. Feeling naïve, she had placed so much hope in what she read in the old scroll. She had sat in the cozy Inuzuka clan kitchen. trying to convince Hana. Both her and her mother Tsume fit the criteria described. Only to have Hana explain it would never work. Both she and Tsume had spent time day and night by Akamaru's side and nothing had happened. His health continued to decline.

As she made her way, past team ten's training area and towards team eight's. She knew what Hana had told her, was true. Yet, it didn't stop her heart from breaking further. Once again, she had been of little help to the Inuzuka family. The most, she had accomplished was to get Akamaru to take a few bites of dried meat from her hand. An image, of his head dropping sadly to the bed. His sad, whimper filling the room. Kami how that picture haunted her mind.

"Kami, I am so damn useless!" Hinata growled under her breath, her teeth clenching. Walking blindly into the clearing, lost in thought. Hinata gasped, in surprise when Kakashi dropped down in font of her. From the tall fir tree above. Seeing the little orange book in his hand. Hinata blushed, remembering what she had read. As if picking up, on her embarrassment. Though not knowing the true reason. Kakashi quickly, stuffed the book into his back pocket.

"I thought, you promised me that the next time I saw you… it would be with a smile?" Kakashi tsked, tapping her nose playfully. "I don't see that promised smile Bara."

Hinata, found herself unable to stop, the twitch at the corner of her lips. As she fought to stop smiling. Yet in the end, he won.

Staring down at her, lost in that soft smile he didn't realize until it was too late. "I missed you." His whispered words, hung between them. Causing him to stumble over his next words like an idiot.

"I…I mean…missed us…I mean… you're training." He sounded so silly, stammering like she use to years ago. Hinata could not control the giggle that left her lips.

"I missed you too." She smiled shyly.

"How is Akamaru doing?" He asked warily. Hoping not to upset her.

"The same… I'm afraid." Hinata sighed, sadly. "I have been of little help. I found nothing in their clan scrolls to help." Another sad sigh leaving her. "I'm pretty much useless huh." Her eyes avoiding his.

Shaking his head, sadly. He reached out, grasping her by both shoulders.

"Enough!" His voice harsh. "I am not, going to listen to my star pupil put herself down. His hands moving from her shoulders, to cup her face, gentle between his rough hands. Her breath caught, as he took a step closer. Staring, sternly into her lavender pale eyes.

"Hinata, I wish you could see what I do!" With that he dropped his hands and turned away. "Let's get training we only have a few hours left before sunset." Walking away to the center of the field. Hinata stood frozen. His voice echoing in her mind.

'_Does Kakashi actually think I have the ability to actually do something with my abilities. I have so far been absolutely useless. All these hopes, I have had… to do something good in Shino and Kiba's name. My Aoi kaen genkai, has been useless. Akamaru is still dieing._' She thought inwardly. '_Yet he says…See what I do.' _

The sound, of his throat clearing shaking her from her hopeless thoughts. Slipping off her coat and dropping it on the grass. She slowly walked over, moving to stand in front of him. Waiting patiently for his instruction.

"I was talking with Tsunade yesterday. She is curious to see how you would do, if we used both your Aoi kaen and byakugan together." Kakashi eyed her closely. "I have to agree I am curious of what changes might take place and just how much it will effect your chakra."

In other words, how long can I use both before becoming too drained and passing out." Hinata smirked. "It would be good to know and practice with it would strengthen my stamina."

"Agreed."

Moving into position, arms out, fingers extended. With a whisper, Hinata activated her bloodline. The veins rising around her pale, near pupiless eyes.

"Alright Hinata, go ahead and activate your Aoi kaen." His hand moving, to lift up the hitai-ate from his left eye. His mask already lowered earlier. When they were alone he didn't see the reason in keeping it up. There was no need to with Hinata.

"Now take it slow…okay" Activating his Sharingan he watched her carefully.

Using both genkai, Hinata could feel the pull on her chakra immediately. It pulled at her chakra faster then when using only her byakugan. However it was to be expected. That was why they had spent so many hours increasing her chakra stamina. Now it was finally paying off, before she would have collapsed within seconds. Now she could practice her chakra blades with her drain to her body, though slightly tiring, was not debilitating. With practice, she would grow even stronger with her control.

Kakashi watched, with amazement as she spent the next half hour. Shifting the size and width of her chakra blades. Enjoying the sight of the glowing blue blades as she moved her hands through the air around her. She always reminded him more of a dancer then a kunoichi when she moved. Her movements graceful and elegant, like the wind itself.

"You're doing good, Hinata!" Kakashi couldn't help put cheer. "Do you need a break?"

"I'm okay." She smiled, looking over at hi. Her eyebrows, pulling up into a frown. She had gazed upon Kakashi numerous times with her byakugan.

Watching how his chakra moved through his now with her Aoi kaen and byakugan together it was like seeing him in a completely different could see his chakra network like never before. It was as if her senses had been heightened. Her vision seeing every minute movement, down to the detail of the different shading in his chakra. What had always looked like one color, shifting through his body was actually something entirely more.

She could see the way the color, brightened and dimmed in areas of his body. The color, flowing like a river. Her new vision, showing her every detail, down to the smallest veins. Chakra veins, smaller then what most microscopes could detect, she imagined.

"Hinata are you okay?" Kakashi voice holding a tone of concern.

"Amazing…" She breathed, taking a step closer. She paused, then slowly took another step closer. Kakashi concern growing as he watched her. She finally stopped when she was standing directly in front of him. Her eyes traveling up and down his body. Her face alight with excitement and awe. Kakashi found himself growing warm under her exploring eyes.

"Hinata?" He asked nervously. "Are you ok…"His words trailing off as she reached up her Aoi kaen glowing softly in the palm of her hands. Her hands moving along his arm. She could feel his chakra as it responded to hers.

"Hinata!" Kakashi gapped. Her touch warming his already heated skin. Her chakra, causing a slight tingle. Like a gentle, electric static brushing slowly across his skin.

She was so consumed, by this new world she could see. She didn't even blush as she touched his upper arms, moving across his chest and down the muscles of his stomach. Before moving slowly up again.

Kakashi felt as if he would never, get enough oxygen into his lungs again. His breath stolen away by the sensations she drew with her innocent touch. He was slowly going insane and having his sharingan activated did not help. With hormone, driven adrenaline rushing through him. By her soft, chakra filled touch, he began to feel light headed.

Hinata gasped her hands moving to his face. She could see it all now. How the intricate structure of the sharingan worked.

"Hinata…"Kakashi breath heavy. "I…I …you…need to stop!" Pushing her hands away from his face. Closing his left eye, deactivating the sharingan. His hand rubbing his forehead.

"I…I know what's wrong." Her voice, suddenly holding a tone of amazed awareness.

"Know what Hinata?" Kakashi grounded out darkly. "Just what where you doing?" His body feeling drained.

"I see what Rin missed."

"What the hell are you going on about Hinata?" He said exasperated, dropping to sit on the ground.

Releasing both genkai, Hinata blinked several times before gazing down. A wide smile growing on her soft face.

"Kakashi the Aoi kaen does more then heal. When used with my byakugan…I…I…oh Kakashi it was like!" She gasped awed, dropping to her knees in front of him. "It was as if I had been in darkness my whole life and then someone just suddenly flipped on the lights switch. I could see chakra in ways, I never knew were possible. Ways never described in all those medical scrolls."

Kakashi stared at her speechless. Her face, more lively then he had ever seen. A joy filling it with a near childlike wonder.

"Kakashi…"Her hand going to his arm. "I know why your sharingan drains you so quickly. I can see exactly why you can not deactivate it like a pure blood Uchiha. I know Kakashi…" Her voice dropping to a soft whisper. "I now know."

"You can?' Was all he managed to get out, still in shock of it all.

"Yes!" Her voice nearly a girly squeal. Her hand gripping his arm tighter in her excitement.

"You see there are nerves, microscopic to a normal eye….well…hell even to a typical Hyuga genkai's vision." She chuckled softly. "But I can see them… all of them!" She smiled, shyly. Noticing her hand touching his arm. With a blush she let go, tilting her head down. Her long, midnight blue, hair swinging forward to cover her red cheeks.

"I think when Rin transplanted…"Her voice trailing off. She didn't want to make him sad by saying Obito's name.

"Anyways, I don't think there was anyway Rin could see all of those small nerve endings and the veins that are needed to make you're chakra flow properly to the sharingan. Without them properly aligned and attached, you have been unable to use the sharingan. Deactivating it when you want." Pausing, suddenly Hinata bit her lip nervously.

"Kakashi do you trust me?" She asked nervously.

"Of course Hinata."

"Trust me enough… to let me use, both my genkai and repair those severed nerves and chakra veins?" She waited anxiously, still unable to look him in the eyes.

"Wait!" His voice coming out confused. "Hinata are you telling me you can make my left eye…my sharingan, work like it is meant. Like a true Uchiha Sharingan ."

He watched her head bob up and down slowly.

"That I could activate and deactivate it by will. Not to have it always activated… draining my chakra?"

Hinata nodded, softly again.

After a few silent minutes he took her hands in his.

"Hinata…I trust you with my life. If you say you can do it, I know you can."

Hinata breath caught, as her head jerked upwards. Surprised by the strength of his voice, as if he spoke from his heart. No one besides Shino and Kiba ever believed that strongly in her. Trusted in her completely. Yet, here Kakashi was saying it without hesitation.

"Alright then." Hinata whispered softly, moving closer to him. Her gentle hands removing the hitai-ate from his head. Her fingers brushing softly through his silver hair before reverently laying it on the ground.

Leaning in, she could feel his slightly accelerated breath, against her face. With a whisper she activated both genkai. It seemed the more she did it. The quicker, it came to her flowing through her. Feeling as natural as if it was always meant to be used together.

"Kakashi… I need you to be perfectly still." She said softly. "I am not certain but it might hurt. If I am correct when I connect these nerve ending and restore the chakra veins to flow properly. You will experience a slight flash of sharp pain and a slight burning sensation." She paused waiting for him to regret his decision and to tell her to stop.

He watched as she once again bit her bottom lip nervously. The more he saw her do this, the more endearing the sight was to behold.

"Sweetheart, I have suffered pain a hell of a lot worse then what you are describing." He smirked as he watched her lips part in surprise. Growing suddenly serious, he gazed into her genkai activated eyes.

"Hinata, I truly meant what I said. I trust you Mai Bara." His hand, brushing her cheek before he laid back against the grass. Hinata hovered over him, her face a mixture of fear, determination, and hope.

"Okay." She breathed softly. Her hands moving to his face. Holding his face within her hands. The Aoi kaen chakra, tingling against his skin.

"Close your eyes and keep them closed till I say… okay." He nodded, letting both eyes slip closed. He could feel the drain of having both eyes open, ebb slowly away. He felt himself, relaxing under the gentle touch of her, soft hands. How he would love to feel those hands trail over the rest of his bare skin.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

Taking a long, steady breath. Hinata gathered her Aoi kaen chakra into her hands. Forming miniscule drops of blue chakra at the tips of her index fingers. Using the Chakra no Mesu technique Tsunade had trained her in, she made her first incision. Her movements quick to keep blood loss to a minimum.

Concentrating, each incision had to be precise or he would become blind. Losing, not only the power of the sharingan but his entire vision. Taking another steadying breath. She increased her genkai. Letting her heightened, joined genkai's show her each miniscule nerve ending. With microscopic incision cuts she removed the dead nerve endings. Reattaching each and every one of them with care. Each one had to be reattached to what was left of Kakashi original optic nerves.

Beads of sweat soon covered her forehead. Hinata ignored the fatigue, to her own body as she continued on. Painstakingly cleaning the edges of the chakra veins before reattaching them. Watching carefully to see that each minute vein flowed smoothly with his chakra. Her incision, not letting a single drop of his precious blood spill. There would be no further scaring to the skin around his eye. She made sure she healed as quickly as she cut.

Sighing heavily, she wiped at her forehead. It had already been twenty minutes, longer then she had first anticipated.

"Just…a…little…longer…Kakashi…"Her breath, growing labored. Her words broken with fatigue. Yet she pushed onward. She had to make sure, she didn't miss a single nerve or chakra vein.

Then with an exhausted sigh she sat back, disengaging both genkai.

"Done!" A tired, smile filling her face.

"Hinata are you alright?" Kakashi asked, wincing slightly as he slowly opened his right eye. A small headache crossing his forehead.

"Kakashi can you open your left eye?" Hinata asked. Her hands touching his face gentle in concern.

Wincing once again, he slowly opened his scared eye. Blinking a few times.

At first he saw nothing but darkness causing a slight concern to crossing his dark, silver brow. After a few seconds the darkness began to fade, his sight slowly returning.

"It may be blurry for a little while." She told him softly.

Blinking, a few times he noticed the haze over his vision retreating. It felt so odd not to see everything with the sight of the sharingan. Where he normally would see the world in high speed, colors crisp and overly bright. Now it was as if everything was the same just as it had been when he was a youth with two normal blue eyes.

The draining fatigue he always faced when uncovering his left eye was gone. It was a relief in a way, yet foreign in another. It had been so many years keeping his eye covered. Seeing with only peripheral vision.

"Kakashi… how many fingers am I holding up?" Hinata's hand moving in front of his face. Two fingers displayed.

"Two." Kakashi chuckled softly. "I can see two perfect… normal looking fingers."

"Good!" Hinata sighed relieved, a small blush growing on her cheeks. "Now, do not try to use your sharingan for the next few days. The nerve endings are all attached so you don't have to worry. Your sharingan will work…but I am concerned that if you do use it too soon, there may be problems. You need to let the swelling go down, before you activate it… okay?"

He gave her a nod. Leaning on his elbows, he slowly sat up expecting dizziness yet finding himself fine. He felt in awe of it all. So many years stuck with peripheral vision. Depending on his other senses in his shinobi duties. Using his left eye only in needed times because of the drain to his system.

With one eye, blue as the sky. The other dark as nightfall. He gazed into her eyes. His gaze never leaving her as he sat the rest of the way up.

"You did it!" Kakashi smiled at her.

"Yes…yes I did!" Her voice giddy with joy. Her eyes locking with his, both growing silent.

Kakashi never imagined Hinata could be more beautiful then she already was. Not until now, seeing her with both eyes. Left him at a loss for words.

She was a work of art. Her eyes were not white pupiless clouds. They were like, moonstone touched with a hint of lavender amethyst. Her skin perfect like fine porcelain. Lips soft, pink and heart shaped.

"Kakashi." Hinata whispered, a blush dusting her cheeks. "Why are you staring at me?" She shifted nervously.

"Because, I wanted you to be the only thing I looked upon with my restored vision." He smiled. "You're beautiful." He said, in a low velvet tone. A smile growing, when he witnesses that bright, crimson blush grace her face with his new eyesight.

Hinata couldn't stop the blush that grew the longer he stared at her.

'_Beautiful?_' She thought. '_Maybe his visions still blurry.' _Unable to stand his constant gaze, she turned away. Her blush heating her cheeks like a flaming fire.

Looking around the clearing to avoid his gaze. It finally sunk in. Her heart began to race with the knowledge she was finally been able to help someone. That all her medical studies and training with her Aoi kaen had finally come to mean something. Something, she had wished for ever since they had died. The only reason she hadn't ended her own life. She could help others and in time maybe save lives."

"Hinata what are you thinking?" Kakashi asked as he watched her staring off, lost in thought.

"Oh…it's nothing." She sighed. "Are you in any pain?" Her face turning back to him. He once again felt captured by her ethereal beauty. Even the pink scar, that curved along the side of her cheek was alluring. Like the warrior's mark of an Amazon queen.

"I'm fine Hinata… just a slight headache. Other than that I'm perfect." He grinned, rubbing his hand across his forehead.

"Here let me." Hinata smiled softly. Gathering a healing chakra into the palm of her hands. She lifted her arms, slowly moving her palms across his forehead.

Starting in the middle, then slowly moving her hand apart. Till she reached each temple of his head. Taking her thumb and two fingers, she gentle moved them in a circular motion. Letting his eyes slip closed savoring her healing touch. His skin tingling under her touch. Her delicate fingers glowed, shimmering with a light blue chakra. is headache soothed away under her skillful hands.

After a few minutes, her hands dropped away.

"B…better?" She stammered, as her own vision blurred. Her head, feeling suddenly like it was filled with puffy, white clouds. Kakashi's eyes opened quickly, hearing the strain in her voice.

"Hinata?"

"I'm f…fine." She mumbled, before falling forward onto his chest. Her body drained and pushed to its limit. Pulling her close, her head lolled back against the crook of his arm.

"You're exhausted Bara." Kakashi said softly, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face.

"I'll be fi…fine." She managed to mutter before her vision once again swam before her.

"Shh…don't talk. Just close you're eyes and rest." His fingers, brushing through her midnight hair tenderly.

"I have you." He whispered gently.

"Mmm…"Was all she managed before succumbing to her exhaustion.

Sitting there under the canopy of trees. The sunlight filtering through the wind blown leaves. Kakashi sat quietly, captured by the beauty of her sleeping vision.

Dark eyelashes standing out against soft porcelain, white cheeks. Her lips, slightly parted reminding him of soft petals.

Without even realizing that he probably shouldn't. His thumb brushed a crossed her parted lips. He couldn't help notice they felt even softer then they looked.

"Hinata…"He smiled softly. His voice a bare whisper in the forest air .

"Thank you… my sweet, Bara. You have healed more then my eyes today." Letting his thumb, brush once more across her bottom lip. Trailing down and along the curve of her jaw. Before pulling her close, burying his face in her soft dark curls. His heart full and whole.

O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.O

Okay another chapter finished. I hope I did it justice. I tried to make it more romantic then all text book medical and jutsu ranting. LOL

As I said before no fear Akamaru will survive. I think you all picked up the hints how he will pull

Well as always pretty… pretty… please click the button below and tell me what you thought.? Just no flames… well unless you have my little made up 'genkai Aoi kaen'. Now that would be cool to see come through my emails …LMAO

Oi! I need sleep!!!! I have been up all night on nothing but coffee and Lacuna Coil music. It is now 8 am ahhhh. See you need to review to save me a bit of what little sanity I have left. LOL!

Again hope you all enjoy and a early Happy Holidays to you all!!!!!!!

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Japanese terms

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Aoi kaen….blue flame…(Aoi kaen is my own made up genkai for Hinata in this fanfic)

hitai-ate….head band

Ninken…nin dog

Mai bara…my rose

Bara…rose

Kami…God

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Medical Ninjutsu: Strong Beam

Chakra Scalpel (Chakra no Mesu)

The Chakra Scalpel is simply medical-nin focusing their chakra into their hands. The medic can then use the chakra for surgery by moving the chakra through the body to cut muscles and organs without harming the skin. The technique can also be used in battle, but due to the chakra control needed can prove difficult.


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